


Fugue

by OfDarknessAndLight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, star wars the last jedi
Genre: Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren Fluff, Betrayal, Did I mention it's a slow burn?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extremely Slow Burn, Hot Mess Armitage Hux, Hurt/Comfort, Hux x Kylo Ren, Jealous Hux, Jealous Kylo Ren, Jealousy, Jealousy Kink, Kylo x Hux - Freeform, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Post TLJ, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Kylo Ren/Hux, Soft Kylux, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, slooooooow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-02-28 01:24:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 66,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13260684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfDarknessAndLight/pseuds/OfDarknessAndLight
Summary: The events of 'The Last Jedi' leave General Armitage Hux and Supreme Leader Kylo Ren on shaky ground, as they enter their new roles.  With the remnant of the Resistance on the run, they must work together, or risk losing everything they have worked for.  But when Hux calls Ren's loyalties into question, things begin to spiral out of control, setting the two headstrong leaders on a collision course that neither could have seen coming.  In the end, will the truth be the force that binds them together, or drives them apart?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Fugue: (fyoog)  
> noun  
> 1. (Music). a polyphonic composition based upon one, two, or more themes, which are enunciated by several voices or parts in turn, subjected to contrapuntal treatment, gradually built up into a complex form having somewhat distinct divisions or stages of development and a marked climax at the end.

**Prologue**

• _One week after the destruction of Starkiller Base_ •

 

General Armitage Hux was often unable to sleep.  As the practical military leader of the burgeoning First Order, his mind and body were both primed to be constantly on the alert in these tumultuous and critical times.  This night was no exception, and the ginger lay awake in his bed, staring up at the ceiling and counting the bolts that marched across the length of his room in lines as straight as his stormtroopers at attention.  He had tried counting them, in the hopes that it might lull him to sleep: six hundred eighty-three, in total, from one corner of his bedroom to the other.  The exercise did nothing to ease his insomnia, however.  Hux rose from his bed with a groan and dressed himself in a plain black shirt and pants.  As was often his custom, the general prepared himself a cup of bitter tarine tea and, with steaming cup in hand, made his way to the observation deck to commune with the stars.  It had become a sort of ritual for him in these early morning hours, when the rest of the Finalizer was fast asleep.  The stars were his constant companions - the only ones he could truly count on.

This particular night, however, proved to be different in one regard: when he reached the observation deck, Hux found it already occupied.  One solitary figure, clad all in black, stood gazing out the viewport, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, unmoving.  

 _Brilliant_ … Hux thought, recognizing the figure immediately as his co-commander, Kylo Ren - just the person he did _not_ wish to see at that moment.  Covering his cup of tea with one elegant hand, Hux turned to quietly take his leave and enjoy his warm beverage in some other locale.  

“Don’t go.”  

Hux froze. Of course, he should have known the knight would sense his presence. It was no use trying to skulk away now. The voice was deep and rich and melancholy. Hux still wasn’t used to hearing it - the true voice of the man, without his helmet.  Since his injury on Starkiller Base, Kylo Ren had been hiding behind the abominable mask more than ever, ashamed of his defeat at the hands of an untrained peasant girl, Hux assumed.  

“Do not let me keep you from your tea time with the stars,” the voice continued.  Kylo still had not turned to look at Hux, but kept his gaze fixed out over the void, remaining perfectly still. Hux wondered idly if he had been meditating.  

“As if _I_ would ever allow _you_ to keep  me from the least of my intended goals,” Hux retorted bitterly, though he stepped into the room and crossed the floor to position himself next to Ren, anyway.  “I simply wished to be alone.  My ultimate destination is unimportant.”  

Kylo smirked at that with a little huff of a laugh, causing Hux’s grip to tighten on the delicate handle of the cup.  He forced himself to remain calm, unwilling to break his favorite Arkanisian tea cup.  “If that were the case, General, you would have simply remained in your private chambers.”

Would this man ever cease to be a thorn in his side?  Ren would do well to remember that it was _he_ who had rescued him from certain death as he lay in the snow on Starkiller Base, slashed nearly in half by his own grandfather’s lightsaber.  A bit of gratitude surely would not be remiss.

“I don’t think it is--”

“Never mind, General,” Ren interjected.  “I will leave, if you wish it.”  

Kylo turned his body so that he faced Hux fully, his eyes brimming with a sorrow Hux had never witnessed in him before.  From this new vantage, Hux now clearly saw a ring of bruises that encircled the knight’s throat, like a splotchy collar of blue and brown.  He stared, copper brows furrowed in confusion and disbelief.  This injury was not a result of the fight with the scavenger.  Hux had been present when the medics had cleaned and dressed Kylo’s wounds.  Certainly, he would have noticed something like this.  Yet there it was, bold as brass.

“Who did this to you?” Hux asked, nearly mesmerized by the marks. There was no love lost between the two men, yet somehow this injury seemed unacceptable - a thing which should not be allowed to exist.  Without thinking, he stretched out a hand as if to touch the wound, but quickly withdrew when Kylo recoiled, a look of disapproving apprehension on his face.  

Hux realized right away that his question had been a foolish one; there was only one person powerful enough to have done this, besides the scavenger, apparently.  And as far as Hux knew, she and Kylo had not had contact since that day on Starkiller Base.  Wide green eyes traveled slowly from Kylo’s throat to meet his dark gaze, the gears turning, pieces falling into place in his mind.  

It had to have been Snoke...

Kylo nodded once, without either of them speaking the name, then solemnly turned his body back to the viewport.  

Force knows why he did it; even as his body went through the motions, Hux felt it was possibly the most foolish thing he’d ever done, but he couldn’t stop himself.  He placed his tea cup on the floor and, standing to his full height again, slowly rolled up his sleeves, displaying similar marks - the cuts, welts, and bruises that marred his own pale, otherwise smooth skin.  Kylo took this in without remark, his head turning to regard the ginger, dark eyes lingering on the discolorations.  Hux was sure he saw something flicker in those chocolate brown eyes - doubt? Sympathy? Understanding?  But then it was gone, and the knight had turned away again, apparently unimpressed by the display.  

“Did you think you were the only one, General?”  Kylo’s voice was distant - hollow, as if he were purposely trying to sound unconcerned by what he’d just seen.  Hux supposed it was common knowledge that the Supreme Leader tossed him around on occasion.  Humiliating as it was, Snoke had meted out his displeasure with the general in front of his own officers on more than one occasion.  Yet, it had never occurred to him that Snoke might have treated his own precious apprentice with the same cruelty.  Perhaps he’d just never given it a thought.

The moments stretched on in silence, with the two men staring out into space, both apparently considering this revelation.  Hux cleared his throat and turned to face Kylo.  He didn’t know why, but it had suddenly become very important to the ginger that Ren fully understand the extent of the abuse he had suffered.  Perhaps it was the late hour and lack of sleep that caused him to make himself so vulnerable. Perhaps it was the baleful look in Ren’s eyes, or the shock Hux had felt when he’d realized that he was not the lone outlet for Leader Snoke’s violent impulses.  Perhaps it was simply the general's desperation to find understanding and acceptance from another human being.  Whatever the reason, he waited until Kylo’s gaze was fixed on him once more before his slender fingers began to slowly unbutton his shirt, revealing a sleek, pale chest, criss-crossed with bruises and scars.  

Kylo’s eyes widened, darting back and forth between Hux’s eyes and his chest with apparent uncertainty.  

Hux shivered as the cool air kissed his skin.  He didn't know what Kylo would do - how he would react.  All he knew was that in that moment, Hux was laying all his cards on the table, and in doing so, felt more trust and tenderness toward his rival than he’d ever dreamed possible.  Time seemed to slow, hovering between the two men as they regarded one another.  After a few long breaths, Ren pursed his lips and nodded, averting his eyes from Hux’s bared chest.  He’d seen enough.  

Ren seemed to visibly deflate before Hux’s eyes, his gaze downcast in shame or sadness, or possibly both.  Hux couldn’t be sure, but when Kylo lifted his face to look into the general’s eyes, there was a new resolve behind them.  Finally, the two men had some common ground on which to stand...

 

 


	2. Part 1: Hux

_"Together, we can take down the Supreme Leader.  The old buzzard is so blinded by his own arrogance that he would never dream of his two most trusted commanders taking sides against him."_

General Armitage Hux has lost track of how many times he’s replayed those words in his mind over the course of the past three days, each remembrance more infuriating than the last.  The fiery-haired General of the First Order stands rigid with black gloved hands tightly clasped behind his back.   Stoically, he gazes out over the galaxy that seems to stretch out infinitely, the black void of space pin-pricked by countless stars that flicker in the distance, as small and lonely as his own hopes of ever seeing his ambitions rewarded.  

Since the evening of the Battle of Crait, he’s been fortunate enough to successfully avoid contact with Kylo Ren, though he must concede that this is probably just as much Ren’s doing as his own.  Why in Stars did he ever consider it prudent to place his trust in someone so volatile - so changeable - as Kylo Ren?  Hux is a cool, calculating man, always looking to the future - always planning two steps ahead of his peers.  It is part of the reason for his success in climbing the ranks - the youngest person to reach the rank of General in the history of the First Order, or the Empire before it.  Kylo, on the other hand, that overgrown shade of adolescent angst and fury, should have been the last person with whom Hux chose to conspire.  

But therein lay the beauty of the plan!  Snoke had played the two men against one another from the moment they’d met.  They both knew it, yet they couldn’t seem to help themselves from engaging in the petty rivalry, like two brats begging for a paternal pat on the head.   And Snoke had never been one to second guess himself.  He’d always had full confidence in his scheme to keep the two commanders at odds with one another, knowing their rivalry would keep a wedge firmly placed between them, spurring them on in his service and keeping them from ever doing the very thing they had, eventually, agreed to do.  

Hux closes his wintery green eyes and lets out a sigh as a fresh wave of humiliation washes over him at the memory of that fateful night. After the two had, quite literally, bared their scars to one another, Hux and Ren had agreed to combine forces and do what was necessary to usurp the throne, casting Snoke down and claiming control over the First Order as co-commanders.  They had agreed to meet again, in private, to make their plans and commit to carrying them out.  

How had it all gone so terribly wrong?

Hux supposes most of the blame must surely fall on himself.  He’d been an utter fool to trust the oaf, whatever pitiful emotions had flared in those dark eyes that night.  And, just as with every other relationship in his life, Hux had ended up betrayed and cast aside. He remembers his surprise when he entered the throne room to find the Supreme Leader dead, sliced clean in half, and Kylo Ren unconscious on the floor.  Instinctively, he’d known that something was terribly wrong;  things were not going to plan.  He and Ren had agreed to formulate a plan _together_ and execute that plan _cooperatively_.  But then Ren had wakened and told him that it had been the girl who had killed Snoke, and things seemed to make sense.

… If only for a very brief moment.  This relief was extremely short-lived, though, as moments later Hux found himself in the grip of an invisible fist.  

“ _Long live the Supreme Leader_ ,” he’d managed to choke out, but his eyes had shown his true feelings: fear, humiliation, pain, betrayal, hurt.  He ought to have known it would come to this, but he had foolishly believed that one moment of shared vulnerability (dare he say, _intimacy_?) would cancel out years of rivalry and loathing.  

In the aftermath of that day’s events, Hux had been left to stew over the betrayal, his feelings of pain and hurt fermenting into something much more acrid and bitter.  He hasn’t quite put a label to his current emotional state, but it is a cold, sharp, twisting thing that lies coiled in the pit of his stomach like a snake, ready to strike.

Hux has never been one to be free with his feelings. Years of abuse at the hands of a violent father taught him that it is much safer to keep one’s feelings hidden, close to one’s chest. It was one of precious few things he had been able to exercise control over, and he honed his skill at emotional concealment to a level of mastery. Even now, he is unsure why he revealed his scars to Kylo that night, but the action left him vulnerable, and it made Kylo’s betrayal all the more painful.

With a shudder of self-disgust, General Hux forces himself back to the present moment, straightening his posture and bouncing his shoulders in an attempt to push his greatcoat collar higher around his neck, hiding the fresh set of bruises he’d received at the hands of the man he’d foolishly believed would save him from them.

***

At the end of his shift, a weary General Hux makes his way back to his private quarters. He rarely takes his meals in the mess hall, or even in the officers’ lounge, preferring to eat in the soothing privacy of his own chambers. _Familiarity breeds contempt_ , his father always said. Even now, years after his father’s death, these platitudes echoed in Hux’s mind. This one, at least, he concedes to be truth, so he makes a point to mingle with the others as rarely as possible.

Once in the privacy of his own quarters, Hux shrugs off his greatcoat and hangs it reverently in the closet, making sure to smooth out any creases in the crisp gaberwool fabric. His boots are removed, buffed, and tucked neatly inside the closet as well before he enters the living area.

Hux longs for sleep to claim him - to rescue him from the cruelty of his waking nightmare he calls reality, but he knows it isn't likely to come, so he makes himself a cup to bitter tarine tea  and picks up his datapad to order a meal delivery droid. With this task completed, he unbuttons his collar and sinks into the sleek, ice blue sofa that adorns his living room, tossing the pad aside on the cushions.

With nothing else immediately demanding his attention, Hux’s mind wanders back to its default programming of late: the grand betrayal, as he's dramatically taken to calling it.

The whole fiasco is a festering wound in the center of his mind - an ever-present splinter that refuses to be extracted.  But there is something else troubling the general - something harder to put his finger on. Kylo Ren said that the girl had killed Snoke and then escaped, having defeated the guards, as well as Ren himself. But try as he might, Hux simply can not make this story ring true. The general, admittedly, does not have a firm understanding of the Force, but he knows enough to know that someone would have to be _incredibly_ powerful to single-handedly defeat Snoke, his apprentice, _and_ a room full of highly trained royal guards. Something else happened in the throne room that day - something Kylo Ren doesn’t want Hux to know about.  

All at once, a thought occurs to Hux - something which should have been obvious from the start. How he could have overlooked such a simple solution is beyond the capabilities of his sleep-deprived mind. With a weary groan, Hux pulls himself up from the couch and walks over to his desk to activate his holoprojector.  

“Security station 1-2-A-94, report,” he barks into the transmitter. A moment later, a tiny blue projection appears on his desk - a young man in uniform, looking extremely nervous. The boy’s obvious anxiety gives Hux a jolt of satisfaction.

“Yes, Sir, General Hux, Sir.”

Hux nods curtly. “I require a copy of the security recordings from the Supreme Leader’s throne room on the day of Supreme Leader Snoke’s assassination.”

The young officer swallows. Even in the tiny projection, his discomfort is palpable as he squirms under Hux’s holographic gaze. “But Sir, those recordings are sealed to--”

It is times like this that Hux wishes he could perform one of Ren’s parlor tricks. Why must people be difficult?  

“State your name and rank, officer,” Hux interrupts.

“P-petty Officer H-holden. Sir,” the boy stammers. Hux wonders idly whether the boy has wet himself.

“Petty Officer Holden, this is General Hux speaking, and I am issuing a direct order that you release the security footage to me _immediately.”_

“Y-yes, Sir! Right away, Sir!”

Hux counts his blessings that he's made contact with a sniveling petty officer and not one of the higher ranked Security officers. He is well aware that the security recordings from the throne room are restricted, but he also knows that, as high ranking officer on the ship, his orders are to be followed without question or hesitation.

He thanks the man and ends the transmission, eager to sink his teeth into the meat of whatever conspiracy lies hidden in that recording. He doesn’t have to wait long; in the short time it takes to cross from his desk to the sofa, he hears the familiar chime of an incoming transmission on his datapad.  

With childish fervor, Hux scoops up the datapad and touches the flashing alert on his screen, opening a video feed from the day in question.  With bated breath, he watches Snoke approach the throne, his gnarled and twisted body shambling across the room like a living gargoyle.  Hux drags a fingertip across the screen, skimming through interactions that hold no interest for him.  He can’t help but chuckle as he watches Snoke moving in high speed on the occasions when he’d had to exit the throne room for brief periods.  If his typical shuffling gait had been a bit imposing, these high-speed gyrations are downright comical.  

Finally, he reaches the point where Ren and the girl enter.  With reflexes as sharp as a vibro-blade, he stops the fast forward, backs up to the precise moment when the turbolift door opens, and begins the footage at 1x speed.  Green eyes squint at the small screen as he watches the events unfold.  He sneers as Rey is pulled forward and bent backward, clearly in torment, though there is no audio to confirm anything being said.  He laughs when the lightsaber boomerangs and hits her in the head.  So far, nothing seems amiss.  

The moment of truth finally comes, and the scavenger is made to kneel in front of Kylo Ren.  Hux’s right eye twitches as he watches with rapt attention, waiting to see how the girl can possibly escape from such a predicament.  He focuses so hard that his vision blurs for a split second.  Or was it…  

Hux backs up the video.  The problem hadn’t been with his vision.  The footage actually blurs for a moment, and then rights itself just in time for him to see the lightsaber rotate, slicing through his former master.  The scavenger bitch used the Force to kill Snoke.  Of course she did.  It would have been impossible, otherwise.  But what he sees next causes Hux to nearly choke on his own breath.  Ren, instead of moving to strike down the girl, exchanges a meaningful glance with her, and fights - not _against_ her, but... _with_ her  - against the guards!  

There is no doubt about Hux’s vision this time.  As the truth washes over him in brutal crashing waves, the datapad slips from his fingers, clattering to the floor as he struggles to regulate his breathing.  It wasn’t the girl at all, he realizes.  It was Ren, the entire time!  

Hux’s stomach clenches and twists, and for a moment he thinks he might be sick, feeling as though he’s been punched.   All the implications of this incredible betrayal present themselves to him like his stormtroopers reporting for inspection.  Suddenly remembering the datapad on the floor, he looks down at the screen, still playing the treacherous video footage.  He picks it up just in time to see the battle’s end, and Kylo turns to face the girl.  Is it possible?  Would Kylo Ren kill the girl now, after all?  But why would he lie about that?  Surely Ren would want to brag about such an achievement.  It doesn’t take long, though, for Hux to see what really transpired that day - a betrayal far worse than anything he has yet seen.  With an ever-growing horror, Hux watches Kylo Ren stretch out a hand to _her_ in what he can only assume is an offer of alliance.  Moments later, the screen lurches and then goes black.

***


	3. Part 2: Kylo Ren

“Get out of my sight, before I lose my temper.”  

A clearly terrified Lt. Mitaka crumples to the floor, hands clawing at his neck for a moment, until he realizes that he’s been released from the claws of death.  He scrambles to his feet and hurries out of the throne room which, three days ago, had belonged to Supreme Leader Snoke.  

Kylo Ren turns away from the man’s fleeing back to pace the floor, murmuring under his breath about the idiocy he is forced to deal with.  The throne is his now, along with the title of Supreme Leader, and everything that comes with it.  Three Praetorian guards flank the throne on each side, standing tall and straight and impassive in their blood-red royal armor.  He glares at them occasionally as he paces restlessly back and forth like a caged animal in King Prana’s personal menagerie.  

He knows he should be proud of his achievement - that he should be able to feel some satisfaction in the knowledge that he never has to be subjected to the verbal and physical abuse Snoke delighted in lavishing upon him at every turn.  

But he can’t.

He feels restless, confused, and completely overwhelmed, sure that the entire galaxy is watching, waiting to see what he will do next.  With the Resistance on the run, each day that passes means added time for the rebels to regroup, recover their strength, and rally additional allies to their cause,  and it is Supreme Leader Kylo Ren’s responsibility to see that they are defeated quickly.  

Luke Skywalker is dead; Kylo can sense it.  This, at least, is one stroke in favor of the First Order.  But with Luke’s ridiculous spectacle at the Battle of Crait, he managed to bolster the morale of the ragtag team of traitors and misfits, while simultaneously buying them time to escape,  _ and _ managed to make Kylo look like a fool, to boot. 

All things considered, however, the Resistance may not even be Kylo Ren’s greatest threat.  General Hux is a ticking time bomb.  Controlled for the moment, yes, but he could detonate at any moment, most likely taking three-quarters   of his men with him.  Hux is well respected throughout the Order, by officers and Stormtroopers alike, and Ren’s harsh treatment of the general is bound to have been rumored among the ranks.  

Kylo’s skin prickles, a chill sweeping down his spine as he remembers the pale skin and slender chest, criss-crossed with the cruel marks of their former master, and he feels a pang of bitter remorse.  They had shared a moment of understanding that night on the observation deck.  There was no denying it.  When Hux unbuttoned his shirt, Kylo had felt his pulse quicken with confusion and panic, even as his stomach dropped at this physical proof of the abuse he’d endured.  He’d let his defenses down ever so slightly that night.  Then they’d made the agreement to take Snoke down together, and Ren had been sincere.  

But everything had quickly been turned upside-down when Snoke began meddling in his head.  So much had happened in so short a time, and as things shifted, and the opportunity presented itself, he had simply taken the necessary action.   

Looking back on it now, Kylo regrets the way things played out with Hux that day.  He remembers it clearly - waking up to a deafening ringing in his ears and a throbbing pulse behind his temples.  He remembers the smoldering debris all around him - his dead Master lying grotesquely on the dais.  And he remembers Hux being there - an ally, at last!  But then, instead of being cooperative in their effort to finish the events that had been thrown into motion, even Hux had defied him! 

Deep in his heart, Kylo knows that none of this truly excuses the fury that had exploded out of him in that moment.  The pain of betrayal in the general’s eyes as he grappled with Kylo’s force grip had made his stomach lurch, even then.  But it was too late to take it back, and in the heat of the moment, he’d simply snapped.  If only the girl hadn’t cast him aside like the garbage she’d spent her life scavenging, maybe things would have ended differently.  

_ The girl…  _

Kylo pauses his pacing and flexes his gloved fingers, knuckles cracking as his hands clench tightly into fists and then relax once more. “Leave me!” he shouts, and the guards obediently file out of the throne room without a word.  

Once he’s alone, Kylo flops down onto  the throne with an exasperated sigh.  There has barely been a moment when Ren’s mind hasn’t lingered on Rey.  The knowledge that the whole thing had been set up by Snoke makes his blood boil.  Yet even knowing this, he has to admit --they  _ had _ shared a connection.  For the first time in as long as he could remember - possibly in his entire life - Kylo had felt that there was someone who understood him.  She had wriggled her way past his defenses, and he had allowed it willingly.  He’d offered her the stars - even pleaded with her to take them - to please not abandon him, like so many others had done in the past.  But she had turned her back on him, leaving him feeling  more barren and alone than he ever had before.  

“Rey…” he says to the empty space around him.  He reaches out with his feelings, eyes closing to focus his energy on the girl, trying to envision her in this moment, but all he sees is darkness.  A long sigh passes over his lips, brows furrowing in concentration.  He knows she is there, just out of reach.  He would surely sense it if something had happened to her.  But if she hears his call, she does not answer.  

“What in blazes are you doing?!” 

Kylo’s eyes fly open to see none other than General Hux, striding defiantly into the throne room.  The unexpected sight of him causes Ren’s stomach to perform a complicated acrobatic maneuver.  He must have been more focused than he’d realized, not to have heard the doors slide open.  It takes him a moment to collect himself, finally registering that Hux is still speaking.  

“Was that Mitaka I saw running down the hall, whimpering like an infant?  Never mind.  Supreme Leader, I must speak with you urgently.”  

“It would seem that you have already begun, General,” Kylo replies, his gaze holding a vaguely threatening gleam.  “What is it that you feel you must barge in here to speak with me about?”  He shifts his weight, leaning forward on the throne.  It feels too big for him, though he would never admit this.

Hux takes another tentative step forward, and Kylo can’t help but pick up on the energy wafting off of him like a pungent cologne.  He is agitated - irritated -  _ angry _ .  Ren sits up a little straighter, suddenly both nervous and curious about what it is the general has come to say.   _ What does he know?  What has he learned?  _

Hux doesn’t make him wait long to find out.  He casts a quick glance in the direction of the security monitor, then takes another step closer to the throne.  With his voice lowered, he says, “I know it was you.  Furthermore, I know what happened afterward.  Ren, are you out of your mind?”  

Kylo feels his insides squirm at the accusation. “What is your point, General?” he asks, trying to sound disinterested, though there is a slight quaver in his voice.  He is thankful for Hux’s anger - it gives him something tangible to latch onto.  It is infinitely preferable to the pain of betrayal he had been feeling the last time they’d spoken.

“My  _ point _ ?” Hux’s voice has risen in volume, but he quickly catches himself and lowers it once more.  “My  _ point _ is that you lied to me, you betrayed my trust, and you betrayed the entirety of the First Order by throwing your lot in with the likes of that scavenger wretch!”  

“Don’t call her that,”  Kylo barks back without a moment’s hesitation, eyes blazing.  He feels his jaw clench, and his fingers tightly grip the arms of the throne.  

Hux must also sense the change in Kylo’s demeanor, for her takes a quick step backward, recoiling as if he thinks Ren might hit him.  A series of expressions flash across his face, too quickly for Kylo to put a name to them all, but none of them are good.  He feels his heart sink a little as the realization truly dawns on him, that Hux is afraid of him.  

Hux regains his composure quickly, however, puffing out his chest and fixing Kylo with a withering gaze.  “I beg your pardon,  _ Supreme Leader. _ ”  He spits the title out as though the words are poison on his tongue.  “The  _ girl _ from Jakku.”  

Ren wonders whether Hux is purposely trying to avoid using Rey’s name, or if he’s simply forgotten it.  Perhaps he’s doing it on purpose, just to annoy Kylo.  That would be typical of him.  He leans forward slightly again, dropping his own voice this time.  “This is a matter to be discussed in a more private setting, General.  Come to my quarters this evening after dinner, and I will be glad to discuss it with you at that time.”  

Hux studies him for a moment, seemingly weighing whether Kylo is making fun of him, or possibly making some sort of veiled threat.  A moment later, he seems to have made up his mind.  “Yes, Supreme Leader,” he says with slightly less venom than previously.  He dips his head in as small a gesture of respect as he can get away with, and turns on his heel to exit the throne room.

  
  



	4. Part 3: Hux

General Hux’s rage is barely contained as he marches out of the throne room and back into the dimly lit corridor.  Every muscle in his body is pulled taut, and his vision is blurred like a viewport covered with a crystalline freeze.  His greatcoat trails behind him as he storms through the halls to the bridge, a miniature cyclone tearing through the otherwise quiet Supremacy .  

Hux hadn’t slept  at all the previous night, haunted by visions of what he’d seen in the security feed.  He’d tried counting the bolts in his ceiling, but the result had been the same as before, only serving to make him more frustrated than he already was.  He’d gotten out of bed and made his ritual bitter tarine tea, but the thought of taking it to the observation deck made his stomach twist so severely that he couldn’t bear to drink it, and ended up dumping the whole pot down the drain.  The rest of the night he’d spent tossing and turning and trying to exorcise those images from his mind.

Now that he’s confronted Kylo, he feels no better.  It doesn’t help that the ‘Supreme Leader’ has basically blown him off, but he can’t blame the man for preferring to discuss the matter in a place that contains no security cameras.  After all, Ren doesn’t need to look far to see where those cameras have gotten him, already.  He huffs a derisive laugh at the irony of it.  

Arriving on the bridge, the general immediately falls into his professional role.  He makes his rounds, gathering information, receiving reports, giving instructions and orders as necessary.  For a short while, he is able to immerse himself in his duties to the extent that he forgets about Kylo Ren and the mess he’s dragged the whole of the First Order into.  This is where Armitage Hux feels most at home.  Here, on the bridge, the young general is in his element.  

“General Hux!  We’re receiving a transmission from one of our scouts!”  

Hux whirls on his heel, seeking out the source of the voice that has just roused him from his thoughts.  His gaze falls on a petite woman with olive skin and tightly curled, dark hair that’s been scraped back in a neat ponytail.  “Ah!  Lt. Brisbay.  Splendid.  Patch them through.”  

Following the escape of the Resistance after the Battle of Crait, General Hux had wasted no time in sending out a number of scout vessels to various parts of the Outer Rim, in hopes of locating the rebels’ next hiding spot, and of rooting out the allies with whom they have been trying to communicate.  Up until this moment, however, there has been no news.  

Hux stands proudly, his feet planted firmly, width even with the shoulders of his greatcoat, and hands clasped behind his back, a wicked sneer gracing his pale features as the holographic image of a First Order pilot in his cockpit flickers to life before him.  “Captain!  I hear you have news.  Report.”  Hux delivers this order with an obvious lilt to his voice.   _ Finally, something is going well for us,  _ he thinks.  

“Yes, Sir, General Hux,” the pilot replies, his voice occasionally clouded with static as the transmission races across the expanse of space.  “We’ve tracked the Millennium Falcon to the Gaulus Sector of the Outer Rim, and are currently monitoring the area for Resistance activity.  We suspect they may be hiding somewhere in the Ryloth system, but we have yet to ascertain whether they are on Ryloth proper or one of the orbiting moons.  I will update you as soon as we have evidence of their location, General.”

“Excellent.”  Hux is positively beaming at this news, his lips tugged up into an actual smile as he bounces on the balls of his feet.  “Well done, Captain.  I will personally see that you are rewarded for your exemplary work in this matter.  Report back immediately with any new developments.”

“Yes, Sir,” the pilot agrees.  “Thank-you, General.” 

The transmission ends, and Hux can’t help but chuckle with satisfaction at this turn of events, though he bites back a scowl at the thought that he must report to Ren with this information before giving the order to advance to the Gaulus Sector.  Fine, then.  Keep it short and sweet, and get it over with quickly.  

“Lieutenant, take the bridge.  I must report to the Supreme Leader with this magnanimous news at once,” he says with a valiant show of false enthusiasm, addressing the curly-haired woman.  She nods obediently and answers with a, “Yes, General.  Of course.” 

With a satisfied smirk, Hux struts off the bridge, a short way down the corridor to his private office. In a practiced, fluid motion, he slips his greatcoat from his shoulders and hangs it neatly on the old-fashioned coat rack beside his office door, then saunters around his large greel wood desk to situate himself behind it.  He may have to report to Ren before he takes action, but General Hux will be damned if he’s going to walk all the way back to the throne room just to ask permission for something he already knows must  be done.  

Pulling up the holoprojector, he leans back in his chair with a smug grin on his lips.  The image of Kylo Ren seated on his throne seems somehow laughable, compared to the looming image of their former Master.  Still, he clears his throat and offers some small modicum of respect with a bow of the head.  

“Yes, General Hux, what is it?” comes the deep, sonorous voice.

Hux is immediately irritated by this.  As if Ren were so busy that a short holo-transmission from his senior commanding officer was such an interruption.  What had he been doing, anyway?  Trying to woo the scavenger brat again?  

“My apologies for the interruption, Supreme Leader,” Hux growls, “but I have excellent news.  One of my scouts has located a star system that may be offering refuge to the Resistance.  The Millennium Falcon was tracked to the Ryloth System.”  

Hux is almost sure he sees a shadow of uncertainty flicker over Ren’s face at the mention of his father’s old freighter.   _ Good _ .  

“Very good, General,” Ren answers, unconvincingly.  He’s trapped now, and he knows it.  He has no choice but to give the order to pursue the rebels, no matter what his personal interests might dictate.  “Why, then, are you lounging behind your desk?  Taking a smoke break?  Get back on the bridge and give the order to give chase!”  Ren barks these orders agrily and breaks the transmission, leaving Hux both dumbfounded at his gall and self-satisfied, knowing that he’s backed Ren into a corner.  He decides to have a cigarette after all, before returning to the bridge.  

  
  


***

 

After dinner, Hux makes his way to the Supreme Leader’s private chambers for the pre-arranged meeting with Kylo Ren.  In truth, he hadn’t actually eaten dinner, having lost his appetite completely.  He had, however, waited long enough that he thought Ren would have finished eating.  

Hux has no idea what to expect from this meeting - a fact which causes him a great deal of agitation.  Always one to have a plan, Hux enjoys knowing exactly what to expect and when to expect it to happen.   When it comes to Kylo Ren, there is almost  _ never _ a plan.  

Standing outside the door, Hux pulls himself up to his full height, smooths his uniform down over his chest, and clears his throat before pressing the button to Ren’s annunciator.  The door slides open with a pneumatic hiss, and Ren’s voice can be heard from somewhere inside, calling, “Enter.”  The room is dimly lit and sparsely furnished, and Ren is nowhere to be soon.  It feels like a trap, but Hux enters cautiously, and the door closes behind him.  

“Ren?  Stop this nonsense.  Where are you?  Come out at once!” Hux demands.  He hates the nervous energy thrumming through his body - hates his weakness for allowing it.  

“And they call  _ me _ the demanding one.  Tsk… I thought you had more patience than that, General.”  Kylo appears gradually, like a phantom slowly materializing out of thin air, as he steps out of the darkened hallway which, Hux assumes, leads to his bedchamber.  He is dressed all in black, but not in his typical attire, nor in his newly fashioned royal robes;  he is wearing a pair of simple black knit pants that hang low around his hips, and a black shirt that hugs his chest and upper arms.  One arm is bent over his head, ruffling his glistening black hair with a black towel.

_ Kriffing Hells, he’s just gotten out of the shower,  _ Hux realizes, and drops his gaze for a moment, though he doesn’t know why.  It’s not as if Ren has walked in wearing nothing at all, and even if he had, what would it matter?  “Well,” he says awkwardly, “thank-you for making the effort to turn up to your own meeting. I wasn’t aware of the informal dress code.”  He feels off-balance.  Perhaps he should have changed into something more casual, himself, but he’d assumed that this meeting would be conducted in a professional manner.  The familiarity of the situation feels almost indecent, somehow.  

Ren regards him impassively, as if he can hear Hux’s thoughts, and is waiting for him to pause and take a breath.   _ Is that possible?  Could he actually be doing that? _

“Relax, Hux,” he says, doing nothing to set the general’s mind at ease one way or the other.  “Come in and sit down.”  

Hux moves further into Ren’s quarters, keeping his attention fixed on the looming spectre of a man.  He sits stiffly on the black gundark leather sofa with his hands neatly folded in his lap and waits for the other man to join him.  Ren reaches the couch in a few long, unhurried strides and sits down on the opposite end, turning to face his guest.  Here, in this setting, he is neither monster nor god; he is simply a man.  Oddly, this thought does nothing to still the racing of Hux’s heart.  He decides to dispense with the formalities and get down to business before he loses his nerve entirely. He takes a deep breath and begins.

“Ren, I’ve seen the security footage.  I know it was you who killed Snoke, and I know that you offered the scavenger an alliance.”  He pauses, studying Ren’s face, but sees no hint of the man’s thoughts, so he plows on.  “How could you do it?  How could you do that to the First Order, after all we’ve accomplished?  How could you do that to  _ me _ ?”  He blinks, horrified by the emotion he hears choking his own voice, and utterly shocked to realize that he is more upset about Ren siding with the scavenger than about the murder of Leader Snoke.  Flustered by his own frailty, he clears his throat and adds, “It’s treason, Ren.  If I chose to do so, I could rally the troops and have you ousted from the throne - sent, in binders, back to your precious princess of a mother.”  

Kylo seems to consider this for a moment, his expression infuriatingly blank as those dark eyes study Hux’s face.  If he is bothered by what Hux has just said, he shows no sign of it.  After what feels very much like an eternity, he speaks.  

“I never intended to betray you, Hux,” he says evenly.  “That night on the observation deck...I meant every word I said.”  Hux feels his cheeks prickle with warmth at the mention of that night - at the memory of his vulnerability.  Kylo drops his gaze, as though he’s seen the flush of color, and is embarrassed by it.  “I’m...sorry.  And I’m sorry for what I did to you that day in the throne room.”  Ren shakes his head, still looking down at his lap.  “To hurt you like that was unacceptable.”  

Hux has the ridiculous urge to laugh. “You’re... _ sorry _ ?  And that’s supposed to fix everything, is it?  You  _ killed _ our Supreme Leader, you  _ killed _ his guards, you chose to align yourself with a piece of scavenger  _ filth _ from the armpit of the galaxy, and you think that saying you’re sorry is going to fix everything?”  

Ren’s eyes seem to blaze, two molten bronze spheres boring into the ginger’s soul.  His lips are pulled back in a snarl as he says, “I  _ told _ you not to call her that.”  

This is almost too much for Hux to bear, but he forces himself to remain calm, despite the way his heart thunders in his chest.  “Oh yes, I forgot. We mustn't call her what she actually  _ is! _  And why not?  That’s what she  _ is _ , Ren!  You said it yourself - she is  _ nothing _ .  And you thought it wise and prudent to offer  _ her _ a seat at your right hand?  It’s ludicrous!  It’s a slap in the face of the entire galaxy!”  Somehow, he manages to pull off a derisive sneer.

Ren stands to his feet suddenly.  He seems to tower over the general, even though he is only an inch or so taller.  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he retorts, voice rising, and Hux gets some small satisfaction from the knowledge that Ren is finally showing some sort of emotional reaction.  “You don’t  _ know _ her.” 

“Oh, and you do?” he returns.

“Yes!  I know her!”  His words are sharp - staccatoed like blaster shots.  But then he seems to deflate slightly and sighs, shoulders slouching as he flops back onto the couch.  “I wish I could explain it to you, Hux.  I’ve seen inside her mind - inside her soul.  And she has seen mine.  Snoke bridged our consciousnesses in the Force, somehow. I don't fully understand it, myself.  It was...”  He pauses, brows furrowed as he searches for the words.  “It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.  We’ve shared a bond...”  

Hux feels his muscles tighten and his jaw clench.  A rush of fury breaks over him like a sudden cloudburst, and for a moment, his whole field of vision flashes red.  Whatever measure of composure he had been clinging to is shattered in an instant, as he leaps to his feet.  

“Oh, this is  _ brilliant _ ,” he shouts.  “The great and mighty Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is ready to give away half the galaxy because he has a silly juvenile crush on the garbage connoisseur.”  His tone is dripping with condescension and sarcasm.  He doesn’t know why, but he is desperate to lash out - to inflict pain on the other man with his words.  “The Princeling of Alderaan, now ‘ruler of the galaxy’ going to pledge his undying love and devotion to a sewer rat!  It’s too much, Ren!  It’s a scandal!  It’s a joke!”

Hux knows he’s pushing too hard - baiting the Force user, even.  He braces himself for an attack - to be tossed across the room or choked to within an inch of his life, like the last time he dared to sass the new Supreme Leader, but no attack comes.  This time, Ren does not fly into a rage.  He simply stares at Hux with a look of astonishment on his face.

“You’re jealous,” he states simply.  

  
“You’re  _ ridiculous _ !  Honestly, Ren, that is the most preposterous thing I have ever heard, and I will not stand here and be subjected to this humiliation.  Not from you.  Not from anyone!”  He knows he’s about a heartbeat away from doing something truly stupid, and just as close to feeling the Force closing around his neck once more, so he turns on his heel and marches to the door, all the while expecting to be frozen mid-step.  To his surprise, however, he reaches the door and it slides open in front of him.  One glance over his shoulder reveals Kylo Ren, still sitting on the couch with an idiotic grin on his face.  Hux gives him his most withering gaze and stalks out the door, back to the comfort and safety of his own quarters.  The charade of a meeting has been a complete waste of time.


	5. Interlude:  Leia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are anxious to get to the hot and heavy kylux content, your patience will be rewarded, I promise!  
> For now, however, please enjoy this glimpse into what's happening with Leia Organa and her band of Resistance fighters, as well as a special bonus cameo for those of you who have read the novel, Bloodline!  
> xo

## Interlude:  Leia

 

General Leia Organa sits in the cabin of the Millennium Falcon, staring pensively out the viewport as they hurtle through space.  For the past three days, they’ve been bouncing from planet to planet, all around the Outer Rim, trying to gather allies and rally supporters of the Resistance.  It’s taken a toll on all of them, not least of all Leia, herself.  They have managed to gather some forces to their aid, but not nearly as many as Leia had hoped - not nearly enough to win this war.  

“Leia-- General Organa.  We can’t give up hope, now.  Not after we’ve accomplished so much.” Poe Dameron rests a reassuring hand on Leia’s arm, and she pats it patronizingly.  

“I’m not giving up hope, Poe,” she replies, turning to face him.  “I’ll never give up hope.  But it’s not going to be an easy fight, and I’m so tired.”  She offers him a sad smile and gives his hand a motherly squeeze, to which he nods deferentially before turning his gaze back out the viewport to the sea of twinkling stars.  

Leia surveys the scene around her onboard her late husband’s freighter.  Exhausted men and women are packed into the Falcon like sardines in a tin, most of them slumped against one another, sleeping fitfully.  A few, like Leia, sit quietly, pondering the fate of the galaxy, while others use what small amount of space is left to pace the floor, unable to be still.  She casts her gaze around the cabin, but Rey is nowhere to be seen.   _She must be in the cockpit with Chewie_ , Leia thinks.

Her thoughts drift to her wayward son, and she feels her heart clench like a fist in her chest.  How is it possible that the precious little brown eyed, curly haired angel, who she had rocked to sleep and nursed at her breast, had become the violent, angry man he was today?  Where had she gone wrong?  It's true that she had always been a politician at heart - passionate about her beliefs, and taking the necessary actions to support them.  But she had _always_ loved her son.  Perhaps that just hadn't been enough.  She sighs heavily, remembering the words she'd spoken to her brother on Crait.   _I held on to hope for so long, but I know my son is gone._   Had she really meant that?  No.  She had been discouraged - despairing, even - but she could never - _would_ never - give up on her son.  This realization calms her somehow, and she tries to reach out to him in the Force.  

_Oh, Ben... It's not too late, my son.  I love you.  I will never stop loving you.  As long as there is breath in these old lungs, I will always love you.  Come back to me..._

Suddenly, a commotion from the cockpit rouses her from her meditative reverie.  “General Organa!”  A female voice filters into Leia’s consciousness and she looks up to see Larma D’Acy hurry into the cabin in a flurry of excitement.  “We’ve received a transmission from the Ryloth System, General, and…”  She pauses, biting her lip.  Clearly, the commander is having trouble containing her excitement.  “There’s...  _someone_ who would like to speak with you.”  

Leia’s curiosity is piqued by this display. Who could there possibly be left in the whole galaxy that would want to speak to her personally?  At least, anyone who is not on board this very ship with her.  She glances at Poe, who is looking between Larma and Leia in confusion, clearly no more knowledgeable than she is.  “Well, alright then,” she says, turning back to Larma.  “Let’s see what this is all about.”  She stands to her feet and follows the commander to the cockpit where she leans forward, bracing herself on the backs of the pilots’ seats.  

Every inch of this ship reminds her of Han, but the cockpit does so most of all.  She feels the familiar pang of grief and the heavy weight of longing, as she breathes in the scents of old leather, engine grease, and wookiee fur that linger in the small space.  

Chewie turns to greet her warmly with a heartfelt roar, and she rests a hand on his shoulder, her fingers slipping into the soft, warm, familiar fur as she smiles at him.  With a final chortle, the wookiee reaches out to the console and presses a flashing button.  Immediately, a small, shimmering holoprojection springs to life on the dash.

“Senator Organa,” the projection says by way of greeting.  “Or, I suppose I should say, ‘General’ Organa.  Forgive me, please.”  The speaker is a human male, tall, slender, and handsome, with light wavy hair and a regal air about him.  Leia recognizes him instantly.  An expression of utter disbelief flashes over her features and one hand rises to cover her heart, but her shock soon gives way to a broad, warm smile that spreads across her face, her eyes shimmering with tears of joy.  

“Ransolm?  Ransolm Casterfo!  I thought you were… I thought you’d been executed!  I thought… Stars above!  Is it really you?”  

“At your service,” Ransolm replies with a genuine smile and a dramatic bow.  “It is true that I was deported to Riosa to stand trial for my supposed crimes against the New Republic, but… Well, there will be time for explanations later.  I wish to extend an invitation to you and your people, to join us on Ryloth.  The Rylothians stand ready to back your cause, and we have ample facilities to house - and defend - you and your crew for as long as needs be.”  

Leia can hardly believe what she is hearing.  This is exactly what they’ve been needing - a place to rest, regather their strength, and strike out again, fresh.  Ransolm Casterfo is the last person she had expected to run into in the Outer Rim, however, and the sight of him, even by hologram, brings tears to her eyes and a lump to her throat.  Here, at last, is some good news, and she’s almost afraid to allow herself to feel happiness.  

“You can not imagine how good it is to hear you say those words,” she finally says.

“Excellent!” he replies eagerly, bringing his hands together in front of him.  “Then I shall send the coordinates at once and hope that, shortly, we will be seeing one another in person again.”

Leia nods, still beaming.  “The last time you rode in like a white knight to save my skin, I told you I didn’t need your help.  This time, Ransolm, you won’t hear me say anything of the kind.  Thank-you, old friend.”  

Ransolm bows once more, and the hologram vanishes, just as the coordinates are transmitted to the Millennium Falcon’s navigational system.

***

Within the hour, the Falcon has landed on the planet Ryloth, and the battered and weary Resistance fighters file off the ship, one by one.  Leia hangs back to allow her brave soldiers passage to the planet’s surface, only emerging after everyone else.  Stepping onto Rylothian soil, she is filled with nostalgia, and as she lifts her wide brown eyes, through the crowd of Resistance fighters, the familiar form of Ransolm Casterfo filters into view.  He stands tall and handsome as ever with his hands clasped behind his back and a wide grin on his lips.  It takes every ounce of self-restraint she possesses to maintain her dignity and not run straight to him, flinging her arms around his shoulders in a crushing hug.  Ever the disciplined politician, she returns his bright smile and slowly approaches him.  

“Leia,” he says tenderly, as she steps up to him.  “It’s so good to see you.”  She can’t help but let herself fall into him as his arms open to welcome her in a warm embrace, and she slips her arms around his waist, allowing herself to enjoy a fleeting moment of security.  

Stepping back, she tips her head to one side and looks up into his face.  “It’s been a long time, Ransolm,” she says softly, putting forth her best effort not to tear up.  With a lopsided grin, she holds up her hands and says, “Wait, don’t say it.  I’ve changed my hair.”  

Ransolm laughs and shakes his head.  “And so you have,” he replies. “It looks lovely.”

Leia could say the same for him.  His pale blue eyes are filled with tenderness, and his soft flaxen hair falls in short, loose curls that frame his stately features.  Even though her heart still aches for her lost husband, she can’t help but admit that Ransolm Casterfo has aged gracefully.  “But how is this possible?  You were to be executed,” she says, bursting with curiosity.

“Ah, yes.  Well, it seems the Rylothians were even more grateful for our assistance in that nasty little bit of business with Rinnrivin Di and his cartel than we had imagined.  Only moments after my transport shuttle landed on Riosa, an emissary from the Ryloth System intercepted us.  It’s a long, dreadfully boring story, and it took quite some time and effort on the part of the Rylothians, but in the end they were able to negotiate my release, on the condition that I stay here, on Ryloth.  Who am I to refuse such an offer?”  He grins, placing a steadying hand on her shoulder.  “Come.  Let’s get you and your people below ground, see that they are given food and drink.  We have much to discuss.”  


	6. Part 4: Kylo

_“I will always love you.  Please, come back to me…”_

 

Kylo gasps as his eyes snap open, heart racing as his mother’s words echo faintly in the far reaches of his mind.  He turns his head rapidly from side to side, as if searching for the source of the words, but he knows he is completely alone. He closes his eyes and tries to steady his pounding heart.   _It doesn’t matter_ , he tells himself.  He can’t _let_ it matter.  They’ve both chosen their sides, and there is no going back now.  He _has_ to let go of the past, and everything that comes with it.  

Still…  He thinks back to the moment he had been faced with the opportunity to fire a shot that would have killed his mother, along with everyone else on the bridge of that ship.  He hadn’t been able to take that shot.  Would his decision be any different if he were given the choice today?  He doesn’t know, and the realization causes his jaw to clench in frustration and self-loathing.  He hates the weakness that he can’t shake loose - hates knowing that his feelings could destroy him and everything he’s worked so hard to achieve.  But most of all, he hates not knowing whether he is most angry that he hadn’t taken the shot, or that he’d ever considered taking it in the first place.

With a heavy sigh, he tries to shake off these feelings and re-enter his state of meditation, forcing his muscles to relax as he attempts to place his focus only on the living Force.  He quickly realizes, however, that his meditation time, for now at least, is over.  Rising from his mat, he exits his meditation chamber and goes to the kitchen to make himself a cup of caf and have some breakfast.  He’s just received a shipment of lovely jogan fruit.  Perhaps he’ll have one of those.

With his caf and his fruit in hand, Kylo flops down on the sofa.  It had been only last night that Hux had come to his rooms and accused him of being in love with Rey.  He huffs a derisive laugh as he brings the mug of caf to his lips and takes a slow sip, replaying the events of the previous night:  

He had eaten dinner early in preparation for the meeting with General Hux, but Hux had been late in arriving, so he’d decided to take a quick shower.  He’d had just enough time to throw some clothes on before Hux was shouting at him to come out, as if they’d been playing an aggressive game of hide and seek.  That is just the way Hux operates, though; he always needs to be in control of any given situation.  This is something that Ren has found amusing to watch from time to time.  

So, they had sat and tried to have a conversation, but Hux had been unreasonable, unwilling to even try to understand Kylo’s reasoning. He'd hurled insults, calling Rey all sorts of crass, offensive names, and Kylo had defended her.  Then, instead of deferring to his Supreme Leader and apologizing for acting offensively, the ginger had become defiant and…

Kylo closes his eyes as he takes another sip of his caf and remembers the moment in detail.  He had tried to explain himself to Hux - to make him understand the connection he felt to the girl.  But the more Kylo tried to explain himself, the more agitated Hux had become.  The emotion radiating from the general had been intense, especially for Hux, who usually remained cool and collected under the most adverse of circumstances.  That was when Kylo had realized that the feeling Hux had been experiencing was jealousy.  

Kylo had been so surprised by the revelation, that the words had simply tumbled out of his mouth.   _You’re jealous,_ he had said, not so much an accusation as a simple statement of fact.   The concept still made no sense to him.  Why in stars would Hux be jealous of Rey?  She is no one of importance, comes from nowhere of importance, has no family, nor possessions of her own.  And yet, Hux had felt jealousy; Kylo is certain of this.  

A chill tingles its way up Kylo’s spine as he remembers the way it had felt, basking in that brief moment of self-importance. It makes him feel light-headed and giddy.  He doesn’t understand where it had come from or why, but one thing he does know is that it had felt incredible.  Kylo can’t think of a single time, either in his present life, or in his previous life as Ben Solo, when anyone had been jealous of his attentions, and that feeling from Hux, though unexpected and perplexing, is absolutely intoxicating.  He finishes the last of his caf and jogan fruit and stands up to place the mug in the sink before going back to his bedroom to dress for the day, eager to attend his daily briefing with General Hux.

***

Kylo is already sitting at the conference room table when General Hux enters, his eyes glued to the screen of his datapad, greatcoat hanging from his shoulders, giving them the illusion of being much broader than they actually are.  Hux looks up suddenly, startled  when he sees the imposing figure sitting there.  Kylo smirks, knowing that Hux won't have expected him to have arrived so early.  Indeed, it is much  more common for Ren to slip into his meetings at the very last moment, if not a few moments past the appointed time.  This meeting, however, he’s been looking forward to all morning.  

“Did I startle you, General?  I apologize,” he says, watching Hux closely. “I didn't realize my presence would be cause for such alarm.”

“You didn’t startle me, Ren,” Hux is quick to retort.  “I simply didn’t realize there was anyone here.”  Hux is embarrassed, Kylo can tell, but he’s not going to let on to it.  Still, Kylo can hear it in his voice - in the way his pulse has shot up suddenly, and now is gradually beginning to slow - in the barest dusting of pink that stains his pale cheeks as he pretends to scrutinize something on his datapad.  

The fact that Hux has called him ‘Ren’ and not ‘Supreme Leader’ is not lost on Kylo.  He knows he should correct this indiscretion, but he finds he  doesn’t want to.  He’s missed hearing the moniker drip from Hux’s lips with such derision, as it always had.  He leans back in his chair, hands folded in front of him.  “What news do you have for me today, General Hux?” he asks, chocolate brown eyes fixed steadily on the redhead.

Hux takes his seat and sets the datapad down on the table in front of him.  “Right.  Our scouts have determined the location of the Resistance remnant.  They are hiding, like the cowards they are, on the planet Ryloth, which our fleet is orbiting at this very moment.”  He gives a satisfied sneer and holds Kylo’s gaze, clearly expecting to be praised for this achievement, and Kylo notices the ginger’s cool demeanor has returned.

“Is Rey with them?” Kylo asks.  

The reaction is immediate and unmistakable - a frozen lake, suddenly beginning to boil.  Hux’s pupils dilate, his pulse quickening once more, and even from across the room, Kylo can tell that every muscle in his body has tensed.   _He really hates her_ , he thinks.  

“I can only _assume_ that she is, yes.  Although I don’t know why you are asking _me_ , when you’ve made it perfectly clear that you share this incredibly intimate bond with her..” Hux fairly spits each word from his mouth in a rapid fire staccato, dripping with sarcasm.  

 _So, it really is true,_ Kylo thinks.   _He actually is jealous._  He feels a thrill course through his body, and shifts in his seat.  “I didn’t mean to upset you, General,” he says, holding up his hands in a gesture of mock surrender.  “I only wanted to know, for the sake of practicality.  If a Force user is present on Ryloth, I will need to go and tend to the issue, myself.”  

At these words, Hux’s cheeks flush a bright pink; there is no hiding it this time.  Kylo takes in the display with relish, his own heart thumping away in his chest.  He hopes Hux can’t hear it; what would he think?  Even Kylo doesn’t understand what’s happening to him, except that the feeling of Hux’s jealousy is acting like a stimulant to his system, and he craves more of it.  

“Supreme Leader, with all _due respect_ , I do not think that is a good idea,” Hux argues.

Kylo can sense the anger rising in him - can feel it coming off him like heat radiating off the Jakku desert.  He arches a brow at the general, challenging.  “Your concern is duly noted, General,” he answers coolly, “as is your respect for my wishes.  However, I do not believe there is any true danger for me on Ryloth.  Rey will not harm me.  She and I both had ample opportunity to harm one another in the throne room, but neither of us took that chance.”   He watches Hux carefully, waiting to see what response he will get, knowing he’s blatantly pushing the man’s buttons now.  But the emotion he feels is confusing - clouded, like two gaseous bodies mingling together to form an entirely new compound.  

“You don’t mean to bring her back _here_ , do you?” Hux asks, something like panic registering in his features, but quickly covered.  Kylo realizes he has never appreciated  just how well his co-commander manages to hide his emotions, and he wonders what he might have missed, over the years they have worked alongside one another.  

“It would be reckless and dangerous,” Hux is saying, growing increasingly agitated as he realizes that Kylo hasn’t been paying attention to his arguments.  

“I _won’t_ kill her,” Kylo says, his tone soft but firm.  “She could be a powerful ally, if she could be turned.”  

“But she _won’t_ turn!” Hux is shouting now, and he slams a fist down on the table.  “Kriffing hells, Ren!  You already bloody well offered her a share in galactic domination and she turned you down like a dog!  She left you for dead, and now you want to give her another chance?  It’s lunacy!”  

Kylo feels red hot rage bubbling up in his belly at the verbal assault being hurled at him.  While he _has_ been primarily saying these things to elicit a purposeful response from Hux, Kylo genuinely has no intention of harming Rey.  What, exactly, he plans to do with her, he has not fully decided, but he won’t be talked down to like this by anyone.

Abruptly standing to his feet, Kylo levels a fiery glare at Hux.  “Enough!” Ren shouts, hair flopping into his face.  His hands clench into fists and come down hard on the conference room table, mirroring the ginger’s own action, but with much greater consequence.  A shockwave of Force energy explodes outward from Kylo’s fists, causing Hux’s teacup to shatter, and sending the lukewarm liquid erupting into the air in a fine mist as the table and hanging lights in the room vibrate with his rage.  

Leaning forward on the unsteady table, he shouts, “If I choose to visit the surface of Ryloth, I will do so, whether you and your ‘due respect’ feel it is wise, or not!  Furthermore, what I choose to do with any prisoner - but _especially_ with Rey - is no concern of yours, so you will kindly keep your insults and your accusations to yourself!  Do you understand me?”

Hux stares at him in disbelief, something between fear and reproach flickering in his eyes.  But there is something else there, as well.  Hurt?  In the moment, Kylo is too angry to care, but he takes note of it, nonetheless.  

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” he simply says, though Kylo can hear the pinch in his voice, for all his apparent contrition.  

“Is there anything else, General?” he asks, slowly settling back into his chair.  Hux also appears to relax a little, perhaps in response to Kylo’s posture.

“Our intelligence states they are taking shelter in caverns beneath the planet’s surface, under the protection of an exonerated criminal of the former New Republic, Ransolm Casterfo.  An old compatriot of your mother’s, I believe?”

Kylo nods.  He remembers his mother mentioning Casterfo.  Their short-lived adventures together had happened before Ben Solo had died and Kylo Ren had been reborn from the ashes, right around the time that Ben had discovered the truth of his bloodline.  

“Ransolm Casterfo is of no concern to me.  He may be eliminated,” Kylo says with a nod.  “I will take a squadron of Stormtroopers with me to the planet’s surface and find the remnant of the Resistance.  Your men may kill any and all fighters, _except_ Rey and my mother.”  He leans forward, leveling Hux with a smoldering gaze.  “If I find that you have given opposing orders behind my back, you will be gravely sorry, General Hux.”  These last words are a low, guttural growl, extruded from between clenched teeth.  “If any harm comes to either of them, there will be hells to pay.”  

Without waiting for any reaction from Hux, Kylo pushes his chair back and, with a final glare in Hux’s direction, strides out of the room, leaving Hux seething behind him.  

“Ready my ship!” he barks at the two guards posted outside the conference room.  They look at each other in surprise and confusion, but then hurry off in the direction of the hangar as Kylo makes his way back to his private quarters with his head held high and a smug grin tugging at his lips.  He feels exhilarated -  invigorated, like he’s just awakened from a coma and taken his first lungfull of clean, pure air.  

The meeting, along with his little experiment, had been an overwhelming success.


	7. Part 5:  Hux

Hux remains frozen in his chair, vacillating between utter disbelief and an all-consuming fury.  While it’s true that Ren has always known how to push his buttons, (and if he’s honest, he knows how to push Ren’s, too), the anger he feels at this moment far surpasses anything he’s experienced in the past.  He doesn’t even understand why he’s allowed himself to get so worked up. What had he been thinking, calling Ren a lunatic _to his face_ , and then drawing attention to his recent humiliation?  Hux is lucky to have gotten by with a tea-stained uniform, rather than the Force-throttling he _could_ have received at Kylo’s will.  He’s actually surprised that Ren hadn’t choked or thrown him against a wall like he had done before, and he wonders what has changed.

Suddenly aware that he’s been sitting in an empty room, Hux glares at the shattered teacup, thankful that it hadn’t been one of his favorites.  He makes a mental note to have a droid assigned to clean it up as he scoops up his datapad and exits the room.  

While he walks, Hux sends a comm alert to his squad leaders, giving them orders to prepare for departure to the planet Ryloth.  This transmission is followed by a series of individual messages to his most trusted commanders, informing them that he will be accompanying the Supreme Leader to the planet’s surface and designating specific duties to each of them.  Ren may insist on personally  going to the planet’s surface, but Hux will be damned if he’ll allow him to go on his own.  Force only knows what sort of mess he would create if left to his own devices, without supervision.  

In his bedchamber, Hux removes his damp uniform and changes into a crisp, clean, and dry one. All the while, images of the morning’s meeting continue to play on a loop in his memory.  Every time he remembers the way Ren had defended the scavenger, he becomes more and more furious, consumed by a bitter, noxious hatred for the girl.  

Why should _she_ be spared?  What good could ever come of letting her live?  She is nothing - _nobody_!  She has proven time and again that she is a threat, both to Kylo Ren as an individual, and to the First Order as a whole.  Hux pulls his bootstraps tightly around his slender legs as he indulges his dark fantasy.  He imagines how it would feel to have the scavenger killed slowly, or better yet, to do it himself.  He sneers at the thought of dangling a Parnossos Beetle in front of her, before letting the vermin sink its venom-drenched fangs into her tender flesh.  It was the same deadly insect that Phasma and he had conspired to use to kill his own father.  Yes, that would be a satisfactory death for the scavenger scum, though perhaps it would be even more satisfying to kill her with his own bare hands.

He imagines the look on Ren’s face when he finds out that his precious pet is dead. Better yet, he could make Ren watch as the life drains from her eyes.   _It would serve them both right,_ he thinks.   _They_ both _deserve to suffer!_  The image pulls a huff of satisfaction from him as he sits up straight and rises from his seat.  

It’s only after he’s stood up and tried to walk across the room when Hux realizes that, in his bitter enthusiasm, he’s cinched his bootstraps far too tight.  

 

***

 

“I don’t recall requesting your presence on this mission, General Hux,” Kylo Ren mutters, glowering at Hux as he steps onboard Ren’s command shuttle.  

“Indeed, you did not.  Yet, here I am,” Hux returns defiantly.  “I would have thought you would be pleased with my enthusiasm to see this job carried out successfully, seeing that this operation could very well result in the final and complete obliteration of the Resistance and its supporters.”  

Hux stands, stately and proud, with his hands clasped behind his back and a smug smirk on his lips.  He had been expecting Ren to protest his presence, and seeing this prediction brought to fruition is satisfying in its own right.  The fact that his presence seems to annoy the new Supreme Leader is an added bonus.  He doesn’t dare vocalize his _true_ reason for going on the mission, and he hopes he has managed to bury it deep enough in his subconscious that the Force user will not be able to readily access it.

Ren observes him for a long moment, seemingly weighing his options.  “Fine,” he says dismissively, and Hux thinks he sees a spark of amusement in those molten chocolate brown eyes.   _What in blazes is he playing at,_ he wonders.

Hux takes his seat in the cabin and glances over at Ren, who is staring straight ahead, both feet flat on the floor, and hands folded in his lap.   _Can he possibly be meditating, even now?_ Unwilling to indulge such a preposterous waste of time, he clears his throat.  “Tell me, Supreme Leader, what is your plan of action upon landing?  Do you actually _have_ a plan in place, or are all of my troopers meant to simply trail behind you, using the Force like a supernatural sniffer dog?” 

Ren glares, barely turning his head to acknowledge him.  “Tell me, Hux.  Did you train in condescension at the Academy, or do you really think so little of me that it simply comes naturally to you?  Of course I have a plan and, had I been aware of your intention to tag along on this mission, I would have made you aware of it as well.”  He turns his head fully forward again, leaving Hux to wonder whether he is going to share the plan at all.   Before he can open his mouth to ask, however, Ren is speaking again.  

“I have discovered the location of Ransolm Casterfo’s home on Ryloth.  Doubtless, he will be hiding the refugees in or near it.  If we infiltrate his estate, I am confident we will find, either the rebels themselves, or rebel sympathizers who may be used as effective bargaining chips.  Once we have the rebels in our grasp, they will be eliminated.”  A pause. “With the obvious exceptions of my mother and Rey.”  

Hux hates the way his jaw clenches and his head spins at this statement.  A quick glimpse at Ren only further provokes him, as the oaf seems to be positively gloating over Hux’s misery.  Is he that much of a sadistic bastard that he genuinely enjoys the suffering of others?  Hux has never thought this of him before.  Yes, they’ve had their own rivalry for as long as the general can remember.  They’ve each taken turns basking in the praise of their former Supreme Leader at the other’s expense, but this… This is different.  This seems almost… personal.  

“What in blazes are you grinning at?” Hux snaps, unable to stop himself.  He may be made to suffer the humiliation of being second in command to this overgrown toddler, but he will _not_ be laughed at because of it, especially by the man, himself.

“I was only thinking of something we talked about last night,” Ren replies, still smirking.

“I don’t recall discussing anything humorous.  If you find treason and betrayal entertaining, then perhaps we need to--”  He’s stopped suddenly by the odd sensation of something wrapping around his throat, and by a warning glare.  The pressure around his neck is not painful - far from it.  It’s almost more of a tickling sensation, but it’s just enough to let him know that the Supreme Leader is displeased; it is a subtle warning.  “Apologies, Supreme Leader,” Hux says, shifting in his seat and sighing resentfully.  

 _What in Stars is wrong with me?_ He wonders.  He can’t understand why he’s been having such a hard time controlling his temper, but he’s _got_ to get a handle on it. Throwing tantrums is Ren’s thing, not his. He’s never let the Force user get him so rattled in the past, and he’s not about to let it happen now!  Turning away, Hux soothes himself by focusing on the mental image of Rey’s slow and torturous death, and Ren’s resulting anguish.  After a few minutes, he is feeling much more at ease.  

Kylo Ren’s command shuttle, flanked by two Stormtrooper transport vessels, sets down in a wide open area on the outskirts of the Tann Province on Ryloth.  Hux remains seated until Ren has exited the shuttle, only then following after him.   _If he wants to be the alpha dog, let him believe it is so.  At least he’ll be the first one to stumble head-long into danger that way,_ he thinks as he steps onto the planet’s surface.  

After spending the greater portion of his life in space, Hux never takes planetary surface travel lightly.  There is something about being tied to a single planet’s gravitational sway that makes him feel uneasy- trapped, even. Moreover, he’s heard tales of the native Rylothian fauna, and he isn’t in any particular hurry to study it up close.  

They are standing on a sort of table land - flat and dry, with very little to see in any direction, other than the dusty, windswept plain and the foreboding grey sky.  

“What a lovely spot you’ve brought us to,” Hux says with a sarcastic sneer, taking strides over to where Ren stands.  He stops abruptly, however, when he realizes that Ren is standing on the brink of a sudden, steep drop, and has very nearly allowed him to waltz right over the edge.  With a pounding heart, Hux looks down to see a puff of dust and a few clumps of dry sand skitter down the cliff from where his last step had knocked them free.  He is overcome with a sudden sense of vertigo, and staggers backward, struggling to gain control over his breathing.  

Ren does not turn from his position, seemingly deep in thought.  “You need to watch your step, General,” he says, deadpan, still staring into the abyss.  

“You might have told me we’d be landing on a-- on a--”  Hux can’t seem to find the words, as adrenaline continues to flood his system, making his head fuzzy.  

“A mesa?” Ren says, and Hux can hear the amusement on his voice.  “My apologies, General.  As I said on the shuttle, if I had known you would be my _babysitter_ on this mission, I would have briefed you fully.”  

The calmness with which he speaks makes Hux’s blood boil. Apparently, he had not been as skilled at hiding his true intentions as he'd thought. Or perhaps Ren had worked out Hux’s motivations on his own. Either way, Hux feels foolish and annoyed.   _Babysitter?  Is that what I’ve been reduced to?_ He seethes, but deep down he knows it’s true, and that he was the one to have appointed himself as such.  

“I assumed it would have been obvious that I would accompany you on this mission, Supreme Leader,” he says, finally regaining his composure, his indignation working as a sort of antidote to the panic that had gripped his heart only moments earlier.  

Ren doesn’t seem to be listening and his back is still turned, so Hux can’t tell what sort of expression he is wearing.  In all honesty, he realizes, he’s probably better off not knowing.  At least he was capable of gauging the man's feelings a little better, now that he had finally given up that ridiculous helmet.

“What are you looking at?” Hux finally asks, curiosity and irritation battling in his tone so that it comes out sounding more like an accusation than a question.  Ren says nothing, but points at something in the ravine, so Hux steps up to the cliff’s edge again - more carefully this time - and peers down in the direction Ren has indicated.  

At first, all he can see is green - the tops of tall trees that make up a dense forest far below, he realizes.  Upon more careful scrutiny, however, he can see movement filtering through the foliage.  “What in Stars…” he mutters, but the words die on his tongue as the source of the motion below emerges from the foliage and enters a clearing between the trees.

A huge green, armor-plated insectoid creature had shambled into view, stretching its long, acutely-angled jointed legs.  Each limb extends from a spiked, flat carapace, and comes to a sharp point at the end, on which is skitters over the forest floor.  Two long tentacles writhe hideously, protruding from the base of its neck, while two mandibles chitter above its head.  Hux feels his stomach lurch at the sight, and he thinks he might be sick.  

“At least there’s just the one,” he says, mostly in a vain attempt to reassure himself, but Ren shakes his head gravely.  

“They’re lyleks.  They are the largest and most dangerous predator on Ryloth, and they hunt in hordes,” he explains.  “Look.”  

The gigantic creature, satisfied with having individually stretched each of its six limbs, skitters back under the cover of the forest.  Horrified, Hux watches as no less than 15 of the beasts follow after their leader.  They are smaller than the first, but not by much.  

“Brilliant,” Hux splutters, terror now added to the maelstrom of emotions tearing his insides apart.  He staggers back from the edge of the cliff once again, onto level ground.  “This is just brilliant, _Supreme Leader_.  We’ve landed on a barren mesa with no sign of life to be seen in any horizontal direction, while creatures made of the nightmares of children circle below us.  I see no way that this ‘plan’ of yours brings us any closer to capturing the Resistance scum, or any farther from our own demise!”  

“Relax, General,” Ren says, finally turning to level his gaze at Hux.  “The Rylothians live underground in a system of caverns, away from creatures like the ones we’ve just seen. The settlement we seek is just below the surface of this mesa.  There is a steep stairway leading down the the cliff face, and into the tunnels.  Although... if you do not feel up to the descent, you are more than welcome to stay behind in the shuttle.”

At this jab, Hux has to fight the nearly overwhelming urge to give Ren a firm shove off the edge of the cliff.  Somehow, he manages to restrain himself.  He gives a derisive huff, brushing the dust from his uniform as if to brush off the insult to his pride in the same gesture, and turns around toward the shuttle.

The squadron of Stormtroopers has landed by now, soldiers all in white lined up in straight columns, awaiting orders from their general.  Hux, feeling his courage slightly bolstered by the arrival of his troops, turns from his men and back to Ren with one ginger brow arched.  

“Well then. Your orders, Supreme Leader?”


	8. Part 6:  Kylo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer than previous chapters, since there is a lot packed into it. I hope you enjoy it!

After what felt like hours of hugging the unforgiving crags and crevices of the treacherous cliff face, the landing party had successfully reached the entrance to the tunnel.  Kylo takes the lead, lightsaber drawn.  The fiery blade casts a red glow on the rock walls that surround them, giving the illusion that they are walking into a tunnel of flame.  The tunnel is narrow, but tall enough that they don’t need to crawl through it.  They are, however, forced to walk one or two abreast for some time.  

Gradually, the tunnel begins to widen until the group of soldiers finally files into what appears to be a massive cavern.  The walls glitter with scattered deposits of a ruddy brown ore that catches the light of Kylo’s saber and makes the vast expanse of stone twinkle like a sky full of blazing stars.  Kylo wrinkles his nose in disgust.  “It’s a Spice mine,” he remarks.  Illicit drug use has never been among Kylo’s vices.  Spice, in particular, he finds abhorrent due to the widespread use of slave labor in its mining and production.  Given his grandfather’s background, slavery is one thing Kylo Ren cannot abide.

He turns around to address the troops behind him and notices Hux eyeing him warily.  Much to his shame, Kylo feels a sudden thrill at the sight of him, as he remembers the little game they’ve been playing.  Or, at least, the game that Kylo has been playing.  Quickly, he shoves these thoughts aside.  After all, this is a critical mission for the First Order, and for him on a personal level as well; he needs to focus his energy on the task at hand.  Besides, he can’t afford to be overzealous with his prodding, lest Hux figure out what he’s been doing, and the fun is over too soon.  He gives Hux a nod of acknowledgement before addressing the group.  

“There are three passages ahead,” he says in a loud voice that echoes off the walls and ceiling of the cavernous chamber.  “Divide yourselves into three groups.  The two larger teams will scout  the side passageways for possible danger, hiding places, and runaways. General Hux and I will lead a smaller group into the central tunnel, which I feel is most likely to lead to our desired destination.  Now, move!”

He turns away to examine one of the ore deposits closest to them, and rolls his eyes as he hears Hux reiterating every word he’s just said, but adding more detailed orders here and there as he sees fit.  He casts an irritated glance over his shoulder at the general, but Hux isn’t looking his direction, so Kylo’s irritation is lost on him entirely.  

After a few moments, the troopers have divided into three groups as ordered, and the two larger groups, with twelve troopers each, have been dispatched into the outlying tunnels, bearing torches to light their way.  

“Well then,  _ Supreme Leader,  _ are you ready to move on?” Hux asks, his tone dripping with sarcasm. Kylo is sure Hux  _ never _ would have used that tone with Snoke.  Their former master would have made a permanent dust mop of the general if he had.  

“ _ Must _ you do that?” Kylo growls, igniting his saber once more and moving toward the mouth of the center tunnel.  

“Must I do what, precisely?” Hux asks, though Ren can tell he knows exactly what was meant.  

“Nevermind,” Kylo says with a dismissive sigh, not wishing to have this discussion in front of the stormtroopers that trail behind them.  

As had been the case with the original tunnel, this one is fairly narrow at first.  Kylo and Hux walk side by side, elbows bumping occasionally, with two pairs of troopers following behind.  Kylo wishes Hux would just fall back and walk behind him, but the stubborn ginger shows no signs of acquiescing to such an action, and Kylo doesn’t have the energy for a fight at the moment. 

It doesn’t take long, anyway, before the passageway opens considerably and they have a little more room to spread out.  The air in the tunnel is cold and damp, and a rich, earthy smell tickles their noses, making them feel almost lightheaded.  This is the result of the ryll deposits - the ore they’d seen in the cavern - which are mined to make Spice, as well as a variety of other substances. Kylo knows this, but he makes no mention of it as he is focused on other ideas that wheel through his mind like scavenger birds circling a dying animal.  He knows there is no way for him to win this game he is playing.  The best outcome he can even hope for is that the Resistance is somehow able to escape.  This would give them time to regroup and either attack or negotiate without harm coming to his mother or to Rey. He knows they are here; he’s felt their presence ever since landing on this Force-forsaken planet, and with every step he takes, the feeling only grows stronger.  

Despite his having given explicit orders that the two women be spared, Kylo knows that Hux has no intention of letting them live, and Kylo realizes with bitter acceptance that his own stubborn insistence on toying with the ginger’s emotions concerning the girl may be about to backfire in a major, catastrophic way.  If made to choose between Rey and his mother, Ren supposes that Rey could be the more disposable of the two, but--

He stops mid-stride, one arm thrust out to his side to halt General Hux and the rest of the troopers behind them.  “Quiet,” he hisses, straining to hear the sound he prays to the Force he has only imagined. 

For several long moments, there is only silence, and Kylo is just about to breathe a sigh of relief when he hears it again - louder this time.  Coming from somewhere ahead of them, probably not too far off, is a low hissing sound that swells and dissipates in a slow, gradual arc, punctuated by a series of sharp clicking sounds, and then silence.  Then the sequence begins again, growing slightly louder with each succession.  

Kylo glances over at Hux, who is squinting into the darkness before them, a look of sheer terror etched into his marble features.  Kylo can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen such a look on the general’s face.  Perhaps sensing  eyes on him, Hux turns to look at Kylo, searching the Force user’s face for some reassurance that his fear is unfounded, but Kylo has none to give.  In that moment, they both know what is lurking in the darkness ahead - a lylek.  

Behind them, the troopers murmur to each other.  “Do you hear something?”  “What is that?”  “Sounds like a giant snake.”  “Or maybe a huge tarantula…”  None of the stormtroopers had looked down into the ravine and seen the horde of lyleks passing by.  The poor fools have absolutely no idea what they are about to come up against.  

Kylo clutches his lightsaber tightly in his right hand, holding it out in front of them in a defensive stance.  “Get behind me,” he hisses at Hux, surprised at  the surge of protective instinct he feels rising in his chest.  He reasons it away; this mission had been his idea.  He had been the one to suggest they split into small groups.  Therefore, the safety of these soldiers was his responsibility.  That was all.  Turning to speak over his shoulders to the troopers behind him, he whispers, “Hold your fire.  Do  _ not _ fire, unless I give the explicit command.”  

“Yes, Sir,” the troopers all answer in unison.  

At an excruciating pace, the group inches forward, pausing every few steps to look and listen.  Kylo reaches out in the Force, attempting to make some sort of contact with the creature.  He has been toying with the idea that the lylek could be subdued by way of the Force, and used as a weapon against anyone who would come against them, but he’s never tried to control something so completely alien to him, and he has his doubts.  

“Do you see anything?  What are you going to do?   _ Ren _ !”  Hux’s voice sounds thin and shrill in its frenzied whisper, but Kylo simply holds up a hand to silence him.  The creature is coming closer, and he has to focus.  

“Wait.  Stop,” Kylo commands, halting in his tracks.  He can sense the creature’s energy now, and it is close.  Closing his eyes, he forces himself to concentrate on the single energy source.  It feels… 

Afraid.  

Confused.  

_ Hungry _ .  

Without warning, the enormous arthropod emerges from the shroud of inky darkness and into the red glow of Kylo’s lightsaber, as if passing through a dark curtain onto a stage.  The lylek is as tall as Kylo when it is standing flat on all six legs, but when it rears up on its back four legs, its front appendages scrape the roof of the tunnel.  Its long, fleshy tentacles writhe ahead of its body like two gigantic snakes, and it lets out an ear-splitting shriek unlike anything Kylo has heard in his life, tearing through his skull to rend his very soul.  

The beast skitters backward, spooked by the blazing sword, but then inches forward again, torn between the instinct to flee and the driving hunger to feed.  Its mandibles snap together, making a sound like the cracking of a whip as it lunges and retreats again and again.  

In his periphery, Kylo can sense the overwhelming panic coming from the stormtroopers behind him.  He extends his free hand back toward them.  “Don’t shoot!” he reminds them, but they aren’t listening; their focus is fixed solely on the gigantic insectoid creature before them.  Two troopers stagger backward, stumbling over their own feet.  One draws his blaster, while the fourth stands still, frozen in fear.  

Hux steps up beside Kylo with his own blaster drawn and aimed at the lylek.  “What do we do?  Ren!  Talk to me!” 

“ _ Don’t shoot _ !” Kylo repeats, his mind racing.  He can tell now that he will not be able to fully subdue the creature, even with the Force.  It is too wild - too panicked - too frenzied - too feral to be manipulated.  “Don't let the tentacles touch you,” he shouts. “Blast it all, Hux, get behind me!” Kylo shouts the command at him again, but Hux has pulled his knife from his sleeve and is brandishing it wildly, unwilling to leave Kylo’s side.  

Too late, Kylo realizes he’s made a grave mistake.  The stormtroopers, in their panic, had heard his expletive, and taken it as an order to blast the creature, and now blaster bolts are whizzing by their heads, flying down the tunnel.  The lylek, enraged by this new assault, lunges past Kylo and Hux.  One tentacle shoots forward, wrapping tightly around the trooper who’d fired the shot, and lifts him into the air, the top of his helmet crashing into the stone roof of the tunnel.  He struggles to break free, screaming at the top of his lungs, but it is no use, as the lylek’s mandibles clamp down on the trooper’s head, crushing it, helmet and all.  

After that, everything becomes a blur.  The three remaining troopers open fire.  At point blank range, their blaster bolts hit the armored carapace, impervious to blaster fire.  The shots ricochet off of it, hitting one trooper in the chest and throwing him backward, while several other bolts hit the walls and roof of the tunnel, breaking free huge chunks of jagged stone that shower down on them, filling the tunnel with dust, smoke, and gravel.  

One rogue tentacle shoots through the falling debris toward the two officers, flailing madly as the creature continues to hiss and shriek.  Kylo roughly grabs Hux by the arm in an attempt to pull him out of the way, but not before the lylek’s tentacle has wrapped itself firmly around Hux’s torso.  

“Ren!”  Hux screams, eyes wide with terror as he flails, desperately reaching out for Kyo.  Instinctively, Kylo swings his lightsaber, effortlessly slicing through the tentacle.  The dismembered appendage wriggles dumbly on the ground, nerve impulses firing randomly before it finally succumbs to its fate and goes limp and still.  

Hux lunges forward, grasping at Kylo, who is finally able to pull him out of harm’s way, the two of them hurtling through the air and landing on the hard, cold ground with a bone-crunching thud as the tunnel behind them roars with the sound of falling debris.

When the dust has settled, Kylo sees that the lylek and all four stormtroopers are dead, crushed by a pile of gigantic rocks that nearly buries them all completely, hiding them from view.  He and Hux, however, are safe.  For now.  

“Are you alright?” he asks Hux, but the ginger is still lying on the tunnel floor, shivering.  His eyes are wide open, pupils fully dilated, but he doesn’t seem to be aware of his surroundings, nor of Kylo speaking to him.  Suddenly, he remembers... lylek tentacles are venomous, and this one had hold of Hux for a few moments.  

Kylo mutters a few choice expletives under his breath before stooping down beside the general and carefully scooping him up in his arms.  Hux is shaking violently now, and Kylo knows he needs to get them to a place of safety, where he can tend to Hux’s wounds and let him rest.  Sheathing his lightsaber, Ren clips it to his belt and relies on the Force to guide him through the dark tunnel as he clutches Hux to his chest.  

Eventually, Hux falls into a fitful sleep, making it easier for Kylo to carry him, though he seems to be growing heavier with each step.  If he can’t find a safe place to rest, Kylo fears he might just collapse in the middle of the tunnel.  Just when he thinks he can’t possibly taken another step, Kylo senses an opening to his right.  Using the Force like a set of preternatural antennae, he makes his way into the alcove and flops down on the ground, still cradling the unconscious ginger in his arms.  

***

Kylo isn’t sure how much time has gone by when he awakens suddenly, flinching out of sleep with a gasp.  He very nearly tosses Hux into the air in a blind panic as his mind reels in an attempt to understand where he is, why he is here, and why he can’t see anything but blackness.  Memory returns gradually to his weary mind, and he shifts under the weight of his still-sleeping companion, grappling with his belt to reach his lightsaber.  His fingers close around the hilt of the weapon and he pulls it free.  Holding the saber aloft, he ignites the blade.

In the flickering red glow of his lightsaber, Kylo can see that they are in a small rocky alcove, roughly  eight feet in diameter.  The walls glitter with ryll deposits, like those they’d seen in the larger cavern before.  With an overwhelming rush of relief, he realizes this must be a shelter for the miners who work in these tunnels.  A quick glance around them reveals a small chest sitting against the opposite wall, a sort of ledge that could possibly serve as a bench or bed jutting out of another wall, and two unlit torches wedged between the rocks.    

Kylo is stiff and sore from having slept in such an awkward position, but with a groan, he manages to hoist Hux off of his chest and lay him on the ledge, so that he can move toward the chest and torches.  He lights the torches easily, using the beam of his lightsaber, and quickly sheathes the weapon to clip it back onto his belt before crouching in front of the chest.  

Inside, just as he had hoped, is a tightly rolled blanket, a few packets of freeze-dried nutriments, and two flasks of water.  He can’t help the smile that spreads across his face at this one small mercy.  When he glances over his shoulder, he sees that Hux is awake and staring at him with a look of disoriented confusion.  Quickly grabbing the blanket and one of the flasks of water, Kylo hurries back to Hux’s side.

“Hello there,” Kylo says in what he hopes is a soft, encouraging tone, though he hasn’t had much practice with such things. “Try not to move too much.  You’ve been wounded... by the lylek.”  He unrolls the blanket and spreads it loosely over Hux’s body before gently propping up his head and tipping the flask to his lips.  “Why can’t you just do as you’re ordered, you idiot?”  The words tumble from his lips, but they are light, with no venom behind them.  In truth, he is just relieved that Hux is alive.  After all, he would hate to be trapped in this cave completely alone.  

Hux’s eyes are glazed and slightly out of focus as he gazes up at Kylo and sips the water.  He’s obviously still not fully functional, and Kylo knows he has to remove the general’s uniform top to see just how extensive his injuries are.  With a sigh, he lays Hux’s head back on the ledge as gently as he can, and pulls the blanket down around his waist. 

As gingerly as he can, Kylo unbuckles Hux’s belt, letting it hang loosely from beneath him as he finds the zipper pull on his uniform top and tugs it downward, revealing the ginger’s pale skin beneath.  Hux is fluctuating between waking delirium and semi-consciousness now, and Kylo urges him to shift his weight just enough that he can remove the jacket entirely, leaving it beneath him.  

The sight or Hux’s fair, slender chest, criss-crossed with the scars of his past abuse, pulls a soft exhalation from Kylo’s lungs.  He had all but forgotten about that night on the observation deck, when Hux had opened up to him about the violence he had suffered, and they had made a pact to take down the Supreme Leader together.  It all seems so long ago, as if years had passed, and not just weeks.  Nothing had gone to plan, and now Hux’s very life is in danger.  Kylo watches the steady rise and fall of the ginger’s ribcage - hears the throbbing of his heart - and he swears to himself that Hux will recover.  He  _ has  _ to.  

Strong, calloused fingers stretch out to gently run over Hux’s chest, lightly tracing an area that is hot to the touch, red, and inflamed.  His uniform has protected the general from the majority of the tentacle’s sting, but just enough of the venom has soaked through to cause this limited damage.  The lesion stretches from Hux’s left shoulder across his chest, ending just above the base of his ribcage.  

Suddenly, Kylo remembers the stim-shot that he carries with him in case of emergency, in a pocket inside his cloak.  He scrambles to retrieve it, praying it wasn’t crushed in the struggle.  Pulling it free from his pocket, he holds it up in front of him and breathes of sigh of relief - it is in perfect condition!  Flipping the cap, he prepares the hypodermic and, without hesitation, plunges it into Hux’s arm, administering the stimulant that will give his system the boost it needs.  The wound still needs cleaning and bacta treatment, but that will have to wait.  

The stim-shot takes effect almost immediately, and Hux gasps as his eyes spring wide open, now focused and terrified.  “What-- What happened?  Ren?  Where are we?  What is this?  Why am I naked?  Where is my uniform?  What-- Ooh...”  His string of questions ends in a low groan, and his hand comes up to touch the spot where the tentacle had latched on to him.

Kylo has to struggle to contain the laughter that threatens to burst out of him as he is flooded with relief.  Reaching down, he grips the blanket and pulls it up to cover the general’s bare chest.  “Relax,” he says softly, grabbing the flask of water and holding it out to Hux.  “I think you can safely sit up if you wish.  Have another drink of water.”  He tries to help Hux up to a seated position, but his attempt is adamantly swatted away by the ginger, who manages to haul himself upright with obvious discomfort, glaring at Kylo all the while.  Still, he grudgingly takes the flask of water and drinks deeply, eyes falling closed as the cool water slides down his throat.  

When he’s drunk  his fill, Hux hands the flask back to Kylo, who finishes off the last of the water and stows it back in the chest.  “I’ve just given you a stim-shot, but you need to rest now,” Kylo says, settling down on the ground beside the makeshift bed.  “The lylek’s venom is caustic, but it is primarily a neurotoxin, so you may find you have trouble with concentration and coordination for a little while.  When you are ready, we will find our way out of this labyrinth of tunnels and see to your wounds more properly.”  

Hux grips the edges of the blanket and pulls it tightly around his shoulders, trying his best to cover his bare flesh.  Kylo wonders why he is so concerned about it, since he had voluntarily shown his scars before.  Why the sudden modesty?

“Why did you do it?”  The question from Hux is sharp, concise, and sudden, taking Kylo entirely by surprise.  

“What do you mean?  I did what I had to do.  The others were already dead, so I carried you to safety.  It’s not as though I want you dead, Hux.  Give me a little more credit than that!” 

Hux shakes his head, his expression deadly serious.  “That isn’t what I’m talking about.  Why did you betray me?”  

Kylo frowns.  This conversation is not going at all as he had thought it would, and he wonders whether Hux’s delirium is returning.  “Betray you?  What do you mean?  If you’re talking about when I choked you... Well, I wish that hadn’t happened.  I… I’m truly sorry, Hux.”  

But Hux shakes his head again, his lips curling downward in an expression of what Kylo can only assume is either pain or disgust.  “Why did you throw in your lot with that flea-bitten scavenger trash?  Why did you place a good for nothing, nobody scum above the Order?” 

Kylo feels himself bristle.  He’s just saved Hux’s life, and all the man can do is insult Rey?  With barely-restrained irritation, he says, “I thought I had already explained this to you.  Why do you hate her so much?”  

Hux’s face screws up, as if he’s in tremendous agony.  His hands are clenched in fists so tight that his knuckles are completely white, but his cheeks are red hot and there is fire behind his eyes.  “Why do I  _ hate  _ her?  How can you ask me that, you treacherous bastard?  I don’t just hate her.  I want her dead. No, I want her suffering!  I want to kill her, myself.  Slowly.”  He seems to have regained some strength as he spits out the words like acid, leaving Kylo in shock and reeling from the passion behind them.  

“I want to wrap my fingers around her filthy little scavenger neck and strangle her until I see her miserable life drain from her eyes - to strip from her everything you gave her that she didn’t deserve.  I want to choke the life out of her, just like you did to me in the throne room that day - when you gave  _ her  _ the approval and camaraderie that you  _ should  _ have been giving to  _ me _ !” Hux is panting with exertion, eyes wild and lips pulled back in a ferocious snarl.  

The effort of this outburst has taken a heavy toll on the general, however, and his eyelids grow heavy as he slouches back down onto the stone bed and loses consciousness once more, leaving Kylo feeling as though he’s just been sliced in half by his own lightsaber.  

All at once, and in the most hideous of ways, everything finally makes sense.  His head is spinning with the revelation, and he wonders how he could have been so blind as to not have seen it before.  He had never even given it a thought - never even  _ considered  _ that Hux would have wanted anything from him.  He’d always assumed the general  _ hated _ him.  Why in Stars would he ever desire camaraderie - let alone  _ friendship  _ \- from Kylo?  And yet… hadn’t that been what he’d wanted, as well?  Hasn’t that been what this whole charade has been about, trying to coax jealousy from the man to prove to Kylo that he was worth something to someone?  Worth being desired?  

With a heavy sigh, Kylo allows his gaze to linger on the sleeping general.  He looks peaceful now, completely exhausted from the combination of poison and exertion, though an occasional chill makes him shiver from time to time.   _ He’s probably cold _ , Kylo realizes, especially since he’s naked from the waist, up.  

With a heaviness in his chest far greater than the result of any physical strain, Ren heaves himself up off the floor and walks over to where Hux lies sleeping.  Carefully, he rolls Hux onto his side, facing the stone wall so that he can slip in behind him.  At this close proximity, Hux feels small and frail - a delicate thing to be protected.  It’s funny that he’s never realized it before.  The action feels odd to him - too intimate - but it is for the sake of practicality, so he presses his body close against Hux’s back. The firm pressure of Hux’s body against him, and the warmth that radiates from it, feels good, and the steady rise and fall of his chest with each breath lulls Kylo into a state of semi-relaxation.  He pulls the blanket over them both, drapes an arm over Hux’s waist, and cradles the smaller man with his body, in the hope of giving him a little warmth while they both rest.


	9. Part 7:  Hux

Hux awakens gradually, blinking away the grit that has formed at the corners of his eyes.  He manages to sit up with a groan, a sudden stab of pain shooting from his shoulder through his rib cage, causing his vision to blur momentarily.  His head is throbbing, and he lifts his hands to delicately rub his temples.   _What in Stars happened to me?  Where am I?  And…_  a sudden panic grips his heart at his next thought: _Where is Ren?_  

Hux wipes his eyes with the backs of his hands, brushing away the last of the sleep sand that’s crusted over his lashes.  The cool, damp air hits his bare skin and he shivers, pulling the blanket up around his shoulders.  From what he can tell, he seems to be in a small cave or grotto.  Two torches jut from the rock walls, casting a warm, flickering light over the space, but Ren is nowhere to be seen.   _Of course.  It’s just like him to go roaming off and leave me alone, undefended while I am unconscious,_ he thinks.

His last clear memory is of that hideous lylek creature attacking them in the tunnel.  The ceiling had caved in, crushing the troopers, and one of the beast’s tentacles had grabbed him.  Ren…  had saved him!  After that, his memories come in fits and starts, fuzzy and hopelessly muddled.  He has a vague memory of being carried - strong arms holding him tightly, keeping him safe.  He remembers the pain and the cold.  But try as he might, he can’t remember anything else.  His sleep was fitful, full of delirious fever dreams that he can’t quite recall, but otherwise, his mind is a blank.  

“You’re awake.”

Hux feels his heart lurch at the sound of that voice, and he looks up to see Ren standing in the opening to the alcove, holding a few stones in his large hands.  He looks genuinely pleased to see Hux.   _I must have been even more ill than I’d realized,_ he thinks, judging by the relief he sees clearly written on Ren’s face.  Tall and broad, he moves into the small, cramped room, stooping low so as to avoid hitting his head on the top of the entryway.  He crouches in front of a chest on the far wall, which Hux hadn’t noticed until that  moment.  Bending down, he lifts something out of the chest, cradling it in the crook of one arm as he balances the rocks in the other, then turns to make his way over to Hux.  Unceremoniously flopping down on the ground beside the stone ledge where Hux is sitting, he spreads the items out in front of him.  

“How are you feeling?” he asks without looking up at Hux.  His focus remains fixed on the assortment of items before him, almost as if he is avoiding Hux’s gaze.

“Never better,” Hux lies, wincing as another stabbing pain rips through his chest.  “Alright, maybe I have felt a _little_ better.”

Ren looks up at Hux and nods thoughtfully, as if he’s just said something deeply profound, and turns his attention back to the items he’s assembled.  “I thought you might be sore, so I gathered some ryll ore from the tunnel.  I don’t normally condone drug use but, under the circumstances…”  He lets the sentence trail off before picking up again with, “I’ll grind it into a powder that you can take with your food.  It will help numb the pain.”  

Hux watches as Ren places the smallest stone - a jagged reddish thing - on top of a larger, flat slab, and begins crushing it with a third, smooth stone. “Ryll is a natural narcotic - the main ingredient in Spice after it’s been refined and then mixed with other chemicals.”

Hux bites back the urge to inform Ren that he is not an uneducated ignoramus, and is perfectly  aware of what ryll is, as well as its many uses, both scientific and recreational.  He finds it slightly absurd that the Force user, who has pledged his life to the Dark side, unflinching with an order to slaughter an entire village, or even to kill his own father, should concern himself with the evils of substance abuse. Nevertheless, the fact remains that Ren has saved his life, so the least he can do is refrain from being belligerent for one day.  

Once he’s satisfied with the powder he’s made from the ore, Ren picks up one of the field ration packets and tears it open.  He sprinkles some of the ryll dust into the packet and shakes it up, then pours a small amount of water into it.  Folding the top over, he kneads the little pouch to form a thick paste, then hands the packet to Hux.  

“Eat this.  It will help you feel better.”  

Hux stares incredulously at the packet, whose contents strongly resemble bantha excrement.  Bringing it to his nose, he utters a grunt of disgust, noting that it doesn’t smell much better than it looks.  

“I thought you said _food_ , Ren.   _This_ is _not_ food,” he says, already feeling his gorge rising at the thought of ingesting the slimy mixture.

“I know it’s not varanta nectar, but it’s the best I have at the moment,” Kylo answers, frustration evident in his tone.  He sighs and continues a little more softly.  “You need all the energy you can muster, and these field rations are all we have.  The ryll will help you feel better, once it’s in your system.  Just… please, eat.”  

Hux eyes him suspiciously, but the sincerity in his eyes and in his plea is undeniable.  Reluctantly, Hux pinches his eyes closed (as if this will make it taste better, somehow), and brings the packet to his lips, squeezing a small portion of the contents into his mouth.  It tastes even worse than it smells, and Hux grimaces as a broken whimper is wrung from his core.  He has to fight valiantly to keep his stomach from rejecting it entirely, but he somehow manages to force the contents of the pouch down.  He tosses the empty packet on the ground like it’s bitten him, as his body convulses with the effort to not be sick.

Several moments pass under Ren’s watchful eyes - _probably making sure I don’t try to spit it out, as if_ I’m _the child needing supervision on this mission,_ Hux thinks.  

“That was, without a doubt, the single most disgusting thing I have ever tasted in my life,” he says, wiping his mouth with his forearms, finally feeling his stomach settling.  He can tell Ren is stifling a laugh, and he’s surprised to find that this coaxes a laugh from him as well.  The moment is short lived, though, when a slicing pain curtails his bout of laughter.  

“After a little while, the ryll will start to kick in, and then we can get out of here,” Ren says.  “Your uniform is behind you on the bed, if you want to put it on.”  

He’d almost forgotten about his uniform. Hux tries to twist, but halts himself as the pain threatens to tear through his torso once more.  “I don’t suppose…” He’s thankful  when Ren senses his difficulty without him needing to ask, and the jacket rises off the stone and drapes itself over his bare shoulders.  He offers a nod of appreciation, which the Force user returns with a little smile as Hux slides his arms into the sleeves, allowing the blanket to fall away.

“How much of last night do you remember?” Ren asks.  There is something flickering in those dark eyes that Hux can’t quite place a name to.  Is it fear?  Concern?  Embarrassment?   _Kriffing hells,_ he thinks, _was I talking in my sleep? Or maybe something even worse?_   

“Nearly nothing,” he answers.  “I remember the attack, and I vaguely remember you carrying me.  That’s about it.”  

Ren nods pensively, those same elusive emotions fighting for dominance in his dark eyes, and Hux is sure he’s about to say something more.  The moment passes, however, and he remains silent.  He takes a pull from the water flask and hands it over to Hux.  “Here.  This’ll help wash away the taste,” he says, as Hux takes the flask.  

The water, at least, is good - cold and sweet and refreshing as it slides down his throat, washing away the grit and aftertaste that linger there.  

“Aren’t _you_ going to eat anything?” Hux asks, one ginger brow arching as he wipes a dribble of water from his chin.  

“Are you kidding?  I’d rather eat bantha fodder!”  Ren laughs heartily, and Hux can’t help but laugh as well, even though he feels a little resentful at being made to eat the slop, himself.  

Remarkably, Hux realizes that the pain in his chest has already lessened, and he gives an experimental twist of his torso.  There is still a definite twinge of discomfort, but it is far better than it had been just minutes before.  The drug was working very quickly.

“Better?” Ren asks.  

“Yes.”  

“Good.”

Without another word, Ren tosses the water flask back into the chest and, taking a seat against the wall, closes his eyes.  Hux is just about to ask what in blazes he is doing when he realizes the great lunk is meditating.   _Lovely_ , he thinks, but decides that it’s just as well they give the ryll a little more time to take hold before venturing out into the tunnels again.  

Only about 15 minutes pass before the two of them set out from their temporary shelter. Ren takes the lead, his lightsaber extended in front of them as before.  They had debated on taking one of the torches, but in the end had decided that the lightsaber was a more practical option, since it would serve dual purposes as both light source and weapon, and could be easily extinguished and re-ignited as necessary.  Hux wasn’t keen on the notion of being left in the dark if they should become separated, but Kylo had assured him that this wouldn’t happen, and that Hux needed his hands free in case he needed to pull his blaster or wield his knife.  Reluctantly, Hux had complied.

“I don’t suppose you know where this tunnel leads,” inquires Hux after they’ve been walking for nearly an hour in silence.  He is trailing a few steps behind Ren, but has refused every one of Ren’s suggestions that they stop and rest. For all he knows, they’ve been heading in one long circle.  They’ve passed small openings in the tunnel wall, some large enough to crawl through, but Ren has been insistent that they need to keep traveling straight ahead.  

“It will lead us where it will,” Kylo says with infuriating nonchalance.  

“An astute observation, as ever, Lord Ren,” Hux retorts, rolling his eyes.

“I saw that.”  

Hux rolls his eyes again, this time with a sigh.

“I saw that, too.”  

Hux sighs, feeling himself growing increasingly restless and agitated.  Though he wouldn’t call himself claustrophobic, he isn’t overly fond of cramped spaces, nor of tunnels that seemingly extend into infinity.  By the glow of Ren’s lightsaber, he can just barely make out the man’s silhouette.  He’d never noticed just how large Ren is, probably doubling Hux’s lithe frame in breadth and girth.  His limbs are thick and firm with hard muscle, their strength proven by the length of time he had carried Hux, unconscious, the previous day.  

Hux feels a flush of warmth rise to his cheeks as he remembers the night on board the Finalizer when he’d unbuttoned his shirt and shown Ren his scars.  He had been foolish that night, and rash - qualities Hux loathes in others, and both of which are present in his current companion.  He wonders what Ren had been thinking in that moment, when he revealed that flash of pale skin.  There had been emotion in those brooding brown eyes, but even then he’d been unable to label it.

In the dark monotony of their subterranean trek, Hux allows his mind to wander further afield as he wonders what Ren would look like beneath all that black fabric.  Hux had been present when the knight’s wounds were tended, after the destruction of Starkiller Base, but he hadn’t allowed his gaze to linger long on the sculpted chest, let alone the flat stomach or what lay below.  He had averted his eyes when the med droids undressed him, giving the wounded warrior a measure of privacy.  

Now, with no other occupation for his mental faculties, Hux tries to reconstruct the brief glimpse he’d gotten before turning away. Ren was much larger and more muscular than he was, himself; that much was obvious. The scavenger’s blade had sliced him, nearly from stem to stern - a cruel, jagged line.  Just one more reason the girl wasn’t to be trusted.  The wound would have healed by now, though, leaving a scar behind.  What would it be like to run his fingers along that line… to feel the ridges and valleys of muscle beneath it.  What would it be like to--

“I see something!” Ren suddenly exclaims, causing Hux to jump, startled and embarrassed by his own thoughts.  His flush deepens when he realizes that Ren is able to sense others’ emotions - even see their thoughts, if he tries.  Surely, he would have been conscious of it if Ren had been in his mind.   _Surely..._

Squinting, Hux strains to see into the distance.  It is faint at first - a dim blue-tinged glow bouncing off the stone walls, but it is definitely there.  As they draw closer, they can tell that it is not torch light, but an artificial light source coming from beyond the tunnel.   _Finally, some sign of civilization,_ Hux thinks, grateful beyond words to be rid of this damp, stinking tunnel, and the treachery of his wandering mind.

“Something isn’t right,” Ren mutters, shaking his shaggy head.  “I don’t sense _her_.”  

Hux bristles instantly.  He is unsure whether Ren is referring to his mother or the scavenger, but either way, the concern and tenderness in his voice cause the general’s hackles to rise.  

“Speak plainly, Ren,” he spits.  “What are you on about?”

Ren stops walking and turns to face Hux.  “I can sense a group of people up ahead; the energy is strong - probably a large group of people.  But I can’t feel my mother.”  He pauses, clearly considering whether or not to continue, before adding, “Or Rey.”  

Hux swallows, biting back the insults and accusations he would very much like to hurl at the other man.  Something in Ren’s demeanor has changed.  He hasn’t mentioned Rey in a defiant or gloating way, like he had back on the Supremacy.  Hux isn’t sure whether this new-found softness is better or worse, but it affects him in very much the same way, regardless.

“They aren’t here,” Ren says.

“Oddly enough, I was able to puzzle that much out on my own, based on what you’ve just said,” Hux retorts, unable to suppress his sarcasm any longer.  “What difference does it make?  Whether they are here or not, we must carry on.”  

Ren nods, and Hux gets the feeling that he isn’t overly disappointed by this development.   _Of course he isn’t bothered.  He’s probably thrilled that they’ve escaped our clutches.  So, the filthy wretch lives to be a thorn in my side another day.  So be it.  They can’t run from us forever._  

When they reach the end of the tunnel, Hux blinks, shielding his eyes from the fluorescent lighting that bathes the entire area in artificial daylight.  Before them lies a massive cavern, even larger than the one by which they had entered the cave system.  It appears to contain a small subterranean settlement, complete with merchant carts, business establishments, and dwellings, built into the cavern walls.  The ‘streets’ are bustling with humans and twi’leks alike, all going about their daily lives, and taking absolutely no notice of the two interlopers. Hux makes to step around Ren, but the Force user holds out his arm to block his path, unmoving.  

“Oh, for pity’s sake, Ren, let me pass!” he grumbles, but to no avail.  A moment later, he can see why:  a small group of twi’leks approaches, bearing impressive looking weapons and led by a tall, slender human male.  Hux immediately recognizes him, from the data files, as Ransolm Casterfo.  

“Welcome to our humble village,” Casterfo says with a flawless Imperial accent, and Hux feels a sudden kinship with the man.  “I’m afraid you’ve just missed our guests.  They departed early this morning,” he says. His face bears an expression of regret, but Hux can tell he is positively gloating over this small victory.  

Pushing past Ren’s outstretched arm, Hux addresses the man with his head held high.  “I am General Hux, of the First Order, and this is your Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren.  We _demand_ that you surrender the rebel traitors at once, or suffer the punishment of high treason to the galactic throne!”  

Casterfo regards him with apparent amusement, and Hux finds any warmth he’d felt for the man dissipate instantly.  “As I said, _General,_ they are not here.  General Organa and her soldiers left Ryloth early this morning and I’m afraid they did not inform me of their intended destination.”

“Why you treacherous, insubordinate--” Hux spits, too tired and in too much pain to bother with political civilities. Ren reaches out for his arm, steadying him.

“You know who I am,” Ren says calmly.  “You know why I’ve come, and you know my relation to General Organa.”

“I do, indeed,” Casterfo says, flashing a bright smile. “And it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Ben Solo.  Your mother has told me so much about you.”  

“Tell us where they went, and we will leave you and your people unharmed,” Ren continues, gesturing with his head toward the bustling village behind them and ignoring Casterfo’s remarks.

Casterfo shakes his head with a little chuckle.  “My dear boy, I’ve already told you that I don’t know where they’ve gone.  How shall I tell you what I do not know?  Search the village if you wish, but you will not find them here.”  

Hux can feel Ren’s body tense - can practically hear the crackling of rage radiating from him.  He keeps his outward persona cool and calm, however. “I don't need to search your _village,”_ he barks, and thrusts forth a hand, freezing Casterfo in place.

Ransolm Casterfo’s lean body goes rigid, neck bent slightly back, and trembling under the control of the violent Force that has seized him.  To his credit, the man appears unafraid, meeting Ren’s gaze with a defiant grin.

Ren screws up his face in concentration as his fingers flex.  “Show me where they are.   _Show me!_ ”

Ransolm does not look away, though it is clear that he is experiencing significant discomfort as his mind is poked, prodded, and stirred.  He stands his ground, body vibrating and expression unreadable until, abruptly, Ren drops his hand and Casterfo crumples to the ground, unconscious.  Without another word, the Force user whips his arm from left to right, sending the twi’lek soldiers flying.  

“What?  What did you see?” Hux asks anxiously, but Ren just shakes his head, grabbing Hux by the arm and roughly pulling him into an alleyway, out of sight.  

“There is an exit on the other side of the cavern,” Ren says quietly.  “If we can get to the surface, we can signal the ship to pick us up.  Do you have your blaster?”  

Hux reaches for his belt and removes the weapon from its holster, holding it up for Ren to see.  

“Good.  We’re going to need to work together to get out of here.  It’s not far, and I can handle most that cross our path, but I need you to be alert, in case one slips by my notice.  All we need to do is reach the exit.  Once on the other side, I can bring down the rocks and seal off the tunnel, so they can’t pursue us.  Are you ready?”  

Hux nods, feeling defiant, though he isn't at all sure that he is actually ready.  He can see the exit now, not too far off, and he braces himself, preparing to take flight.

They rush out into a side street that hugs the wall of the cavern.  Villagers of all shapes, sizes, and skin colors scatter before them, some running away of their own accord, while others are tossed aside by Ren’s Force push.  Hux fires his blaster only a handful of times, and after it’s all over, he is unsure whether he actually hit anything.

Their escape is conspicuously simple; no one seems eager to stand and fight them, though Hux isn't particularly surprised by this. Before long, they have reached the exit and are standing in the sunshine, blinking. They seem to be on the opposite side of the mesa on which they’d landed the previous day, on a narrow ledge jutting out from the cliff face.  

Ren spins to face the cave entrance.  He holds out both hands and grits his teeth, eyes pinched shut as the cave wall begins to quake.  Sounds of muffled exclamation emanate from inside the cave as the entrance is completely filled with crashing stones and a thick cloud of dust.  They pause, weapons drawn, waiting to see whether anyone will be able to breach the avalanche, but they hear and see nothing that would indicate that anyone is even trying to break through.  

The two men waste no time in scrambling up the steep slope to their left, which leads back up to the plateau.

“They aren't following us. Why are they not following us?” Hux demands, once they have reached the top, panting from exertion.

“Clearly, they let us go.”

“Clearly! Any fool can see that.  But _why?”_

Ren sighs and shakes his head. “Because the Resistance is weak and foolish. It will be their downfall, and we may be thankful for it.”

Hux gives an exasperated sigh, throwing up his hands in frustration. Pain is creeping back into his nervous system, he's tired and hungry, and has lost all patience with Ren and his riddles.

“And when you read his thoughts?”

“He didn't know. He was telling the truth.  Casterfo must have told them specifically not to tell him where they were going to go.  Their sensors had registered the tunnel cave-in, and my mother…”  He trails off, and for a moment, Hux almost pities him. He can guess what Ren had been about to say - that Leia had sensed her son’s presence on the planet, and had put two and two together, fleeing with her people. In their mad dash to escape the cave, neither one of them had seen Ransolm Casterfo command his guards to stand down, having made a promise to Leia that no harm would come to her son.  

Hux pulls his comm link from his jacket and sends a transmission to the fleet overhead, requesting that a shuttle be sent to their coordinates.  Within minutes, the transport has arrived, and Hux is collapsing into a cabin seat, barely coherent enough to hear Ren beside him, shouting at someone to fetch him a medkit and a blanket.  Then he is plunged into blackness, and does not waken for the remainder of the flight back to the Supremacy.


	10. Part 8:  Kylo

Kylo Ren sits alone in the medical wing, silently staring at the blank, sterile parasteel wall before him.  He is lost in his thoughts and worries over Hux, who is currently floating, suspended in a bacta tank in the next room.  Kylo could have stayed in the room during the treatment, but he had deemed it inappropriate, electing instead to remain just outside until the general was conscious.  Hux deserved that small amount of respect, at least.  

The preceding 24 hours have left Kylo confused and unstable, perpetually playing Hux’s words over again and again in his mind.  He knows it’s ridiculous to dwell on it.  Of course Hux hates Rey.  She is helping the Resistance, which Hux loathes more than anything else in the galaxy.  He’s an angry man in a difficult situation (which Kylo knows he hasn’t made any easier for the ginger), and in his altered state of loosened inhibitions, Hux had said some things he would never have said otherwise.  And yet...wasn’t it usually the case that when a person’s inhibitions were lowest, that they were the most truthful?  And then there were the jealous feelings that Kylo had been picking up on.  What did they mean?  

Kylo had been operating under the assumption that Hux was just feeling betrayed on behalf of the First Order as a whole, with some resentment at being passed over in his role of taking down the Supreme Leader.  But in the light of this new revelation, he has to wonder whether there is more to it than that.  Something more… _personal._

He sighs, burying his face in his hands and rubbing his eyes with his fingertips.  This is becoming awkward very quickly, and Kylo has no idea what to do with the possibility.  After all, he’s never thought of Hux as anything more than a nuisance to be dealt with or tossed aside as he saw fit.  He’s never given any thought to the way his hair glistens like highly polished copper in the sun, or the way his eyes look like the little pools of deep, tranquil water where a young boy named Ben Solo used to swim on hot summer days on Chandrila.  And he most definitely has never considered how Hux’s lean body could fit so snugly against his own, slotted together like two shards of a broken clay vessel…

His thoughts are shattered when the door beside him opens.  A dark blur of a man rushes past him, slamming through the hinged saloon style doors that lead to the treatment rooms before Kylo has a chance to see who it is.  He watches the doors swing on their hinges as, somewhere in the distance, he can hear the murmur of voices speaking in animated, but hushed tones.  At this volume, he can’t be sure of the identity of the mysterious figure, but the other voice is definitely that of the doctor overseeing Hux’s treatment. Could that person have been racing back to check on Hux?  

No, surely not.  Who, on this ship, could possibly be that concerned for Hux’s personal health and safety?  Besides, if there was news to be shared, the doctor surely would have come to Kylo with it at once!  They must be discussing someone else.  Maybe the doctor has other patients? Kylo is beginning to feel uneasy about the turn of events, and he’s just standing to his feet when he hears the word ‘Armitage’ filter out from behind the doors, which have finally ceased their swinging.  

Kylo stands still, straining to hear what is being said, and who is saying it.  He can only make out bits and pieces, but the more he listens, the more he comes to recognize the voice of the man who had blown by him like a miniature cyclone.  Fury overtakes him with a suddenness that leaves him feeling lightheaded and queasy, like a red hot coal has been dropped into his belly, as he realizes the owner of the voice in question is Lt. Mitaka.  

A temporary madness takes hold of Kylo, and he slams through the swinging doors and marches up to Mitaka, who quakes before him, obviously terrified out of his wits.  “What the varp are you doing here, Lieutenant?  And how _dare_ you call General Hux by his first name?  Have you no respect for those in authority over you?  I should have you demoted.. Or executed!”  The words are half shouted, half growled as he steps uncomfortably close to Mitaka, glaring down at him.  His level of frustration rises exponentially when he realizes he's let slip an Alderaani expletive that his mother used to use when she’d stubbed her toe or dropped a favorite dish on the floor. _Kriffing hells, what am I becoming?_

“Supreme Leader!  I… um… Sir, I… I only--”  

His words are cut short as his eyes bulge and he claws at his throat, suddenly thrown backward.  With a metallic clatter, his body collides with an elaborate looking piece of medical equipment, fragments of electronics scattering on the floor.  A swarm of medical droids rush into the room, alerted by the commotion to the destruction taking place.

“I asked you a question,” Kylo snarls, arm outstretched and fingers flexed.  “Are you going to answer me, or are you going to stand there babbling like an invalid?  Speak!  Or do I need to rip open your mind from the inside out to find the answers I seek?”

Mitaka’s eyes are big as saucers and a pitiful gurgling sound dribbles from his mouth as he struggles to break free from the Force grip around his neck, unable to speak whether he wishes to or not.  

With a roar of exasperation, Kylo’s arm swings suddenly down, and Mitaka collapses onto the floor like a rag doll tossed in a corner.  

The doctor rushes into the room to find out what is going on, gesticulating wildly at the broken equipment, but he quickly shrinks back when he sees who is standing there.  “Supreme Leader!  I beg your pardon.  I didn’t know you were… Forgive me.”  He makes a little bow and hurries from the room before the fate of the lieutenant may also befall him.

It is only at this moment that Kylo realizes the bacta tank is empty.  He whirls around, dark eyes searching for someone - anyone - at whom he can lash out.  How _dare_ they not notify him that Hux was being moved from the bacta tank?  An unfortunate droid waddles into the room, glancing dumbly from Kylo to the heap of broken equipment and back again.  

“Where is General Hux?  What have you done with him?” Kylo roars.

The droid takes a step backward out of some pre-programmed self-preservation directive, but answers succinctly.  “General Hux was removed from bacta tank 3, approximately four point five minutes ago.  He has been placed in private recovery room 10-b, where he is currently receiving--”

The droid doesn’t have an opportunity to finish its sentence, as Kylo shoves past it and into the passageway that leads to the treatment and recovery rooms, leaving behind a cowering Mitaka, sputtering and traumatized but thankful to be alive,  and an agitated droid to clean up the casualties of Kylo’s wrath.  

He stalks down the hallway, counting off the rooms as he passes.  Once he’s reached room 10-b, he walks straight in, without pomp or fanfare. Upon entering however, he’s drawn up short by the sight before him.  

Hux is lying on the bed, a flash of bright copper hair the only thing differentiating him from the white bed linens that swaddle him.  He is sleeping peacefully and a med droid hovers over him, presumably checking vital signs.  The droid appears to be unfazed by Kylo’s presence, and goes about its routine before rolling out of the room without so much as an acknowledgement.  

Finally left alone with the sleeping ginger, Kylo sits in the chair beside the bed.  He’s tempted to reach out and touch him - to take his hand or stroke his smooth, pale skin, but something keeps him from doing this, so he simply sits and waits, watching as Hux’s chest gently rises and falls with each breath he takes.  His eyes jiggle beneath their lids on occasion - evidence that he is dreaming - and Kylo can’t help but wonder what dreams inhabit the general’s unconscious mind.  Is he dreaming of Kylo?  Not likely.  What, then?  Weapons the size of planets?  Legions upon legions of stormtroopers saluting him?  Does he have people for whom he cares?  Family?  Childhood friends?  Kylo realizes with a sickening lurch that he knows basically nothing about Hux’s personal life - has never even entertained a second thought about it.

Delicate copper lashes flutter and suddenly, he is awake.  Kylo leans forward in his chair, waiting for Hux to speak.   _Can he sense my presence,_ he wonders. Hux’s eyelids remain heavy, and Kylo is afraid he will fall back to sleep without speaking any words at all.   He watches as pink lips part and his tongue emerges slowly, attempting to moisten the parched flesh.

He still hasn’t looked over, and Kylo is just about to make his presence known when Hux’s mouth opens and he utters a sound that is barely audible.  Kylo can’t make it out, so he leans further forward, straining to hear.  

“Dopheld… ” he hears Hux say in a quiet, raspy voice.  “Dopheld… Are you there?”

Kylo’s blood runs cold, draining from his head into the pit of his stomach as he slumps back in the chair.  He’s annoyed by his own foolish hope and expectation that Hux’s first words would be for him, and no one else.   _Who in the crink is Dopheld?_  He looks around, as though a mysterious person named Dopheld might be standing behind him, but there is no one there.  He leans forward again and speaks softly, his gaze lowered as he finally dares to reach out and rest a hand lightly on Hux’s exposed arm.  His skin is cool, but soft and smooth beneath Kylo’s calloused fingers.  

“Hux?  Hux, it’s Kylo.  Can you hear me?”

Hux’s head flops to one side, drawn to the sound of Kylo’s voice.  He is looking straight at him, but his eyes are glazed over and Kylo isn’t at all sure that he is truly seeing him with any recognition.  

“Ren…” Hux whispers, and the barest hint of a smile tugs at one corner of Hux’s lips.  Kylo has never been so thrilled to hear his name uttered before.  He smiles broadly and nods, feeling emotion creeping up his throat.  

“Yes, that’s right,” he says with an encouraging smile.  “It’s Ren.  You’re going to be just fine, Hux.”  He pauses before tentatively adding the question, “Who is Dopheld?  You asked for Dopheld just now.”

Hux’s eyes open a little more widely and they make eye contact for a moment, causing Kylo’s heart to flutter in a way he isn’t sure he likes.  “Mitaka.  Dopheld Mitaka.  I thought I heard his voice… So close… Perhaps…  I was only…”  But before he can finish his sentence, his eyes close, and he is plunged beneath the surface of consciousness once more. 

Kylo stares in disbelief, completely shocked and actually horrified by what he’s just heard.   _Lt. Mitaka_ ?  He’d never even considered that worm of a man might _have_ a first name, let alone that he and Hux might have used them with one another on a regular basis.  It feels like he’s stepped into a parallel universe, where nothing is as it seems, and the longer he ruminates on it, the more sickened he feels.

Rising from his chair, Kylo walks out of the room and looks both ways down the hall.  “Nurse!  Doctor!” he shouts, and one of the medics comes scurrying out of an adjacent treatment room, looking very nervous.  

“Yes, Supreme Leader, Sir,” he says, head bowed in deference.  

“Tell me the current status of General Hux,” Kylo barks.  He has to know that Hux will be alright before he can leave the sick bay.  

“Uh, yes, Sir.  Um…”  The medic fiddles with his datapad, trying to pull up Hux’s medical records, but fumbles over everything in his panic. Kylo glares at him, making a valiant effort not to lose his temper and send the young man flying backward down the corridor.

“Yes, here he is.  General Hux is in stable condition.  The bacta treatment has successfully extracted the toxins from his bloodstream and his wound is healing.  He is currently on pain medication and a mild sedative, but he is scheduled to be released once he has regained consciousness and is able to hold down a meal.  Sir.”  

“Good.  Notify me _immediately_ if there is _any_ change in his condition.  Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.  Supreme Leader.  Sir.” 

Too agitated to even notice or care that the medic has been stumbling over every word, Kylo brushes past him and stalks out of the sick bay, his temples throbbing.   _Dopheld Kriffing Mitaka…_ The revelation is too much to bear, and by the time he’s reached his private quarters, Kylo has convinced himself that there must have been some mistake.  Hux was delirious - under heavy pain medication - he wasn’t thinking clearly.  He’d jumbled his words - his names.  There had to be some other explanation.  

Finally behind the closed door of his private chambers, Kylo peels off the tattered, soiled clothes he’s been wearing ever since he'd left for Ryloth.  He’d been so concerned about Hux’s condition that he hadn’t even thought about the wretched state of his clothing up until that moment.  It feels good to shed the ruined garments, and  Kylo wanders into the refresher to start the water running for a shower.

While the water warms, Kylo grabs his datapad and pulls up a list of the officers designated to the Supremacy.  Upon relocating to Snoke’s ship, Kylo had specifically requested that Mitaka also be transferred.  He’d always seen the lieutenant as a sort of personal human stress ball, and couldn’t bear to part with his toy.  Even then, he’d never bothered to learn Mitaka’s first name.  If he’s ever seen it in writing, he’s obviously forgotten.  He scrolls through the listing:  Mason...Mendley...Miller... _Mitaka!_  He pulls up the file, and there he is - mousy black hair, big ears and a pitiful expression.  His stomach twists itself into a tight knot as his eyes fall on the name.  “Lt. Dopheld Mitaka.”  

With a roar of anger, Kylo throws the datapad across the room where, fortunately, it lands on his bed without damage.  With an exasperated sigh, he steps into the shower.  

Standing under the cascade of steaming water, he watches as the dirt and grime of Ryloth flow down the shower drain. The water is hotter than his customary preference, but he barely registers the way it scalds his skin, plumes of steam rising to hang heavily in the air.  All the better to wash away every reminder of the past 24 hours.  He’s glad to be rid of it - is better off forgetting all about that Force-forsaken planet and everything that happened there.  

And really, what _had_ happened there?  Nothing of true importance.  So they’d had a run-in with a nasty piece of Rylothian fauna.  They’d managed to escape with their lives… minus a few dozen stormtroopers, but what did that matter?  So Kylo had carried Hux to safety.  So he’d held him close against his chest to keep him warm and safe through the long, dark night.  So what?  Hux didn’t even remember those things happening.  Kylo's teeth clench at the realization that, very likely, Hux would _never_ remember everything he had done for him - how he had set aside his warrior’s facade and cared for Hux with gentle tenderness.  Kylo had been a fool - a pitiful fool.   The general would be back to his smug, obnoxious self before either of them knew it, and everything would go back to the way it had been.  

Except… things would _never_ go back to the way they had been.  Kylo had seen to that when he’d taken the throne for his own and offered his loyalty to Rey, then proceeded to Force choke the one person who might have become his ally, once the dust had settled.  He wishes, desperately now, that he could take it back - that he could do things differently.  But that is impossible.  

Kylo begins to lather his hair and body with shower gel, massaging his tense, sore muscles and  inhaling deeply the sweet aroma of the body wash.  The scent takes him back to the last shower he’d taken, right before Hux had arrived at his quarters for their farce of a meeting.  It all seems so long ago now, like another lifetime, far removed from his present, post-Rylothian existence.  

With a groan of frustration, Kylo plants the heels of his palms against the shower wall, angry that he can’t wash the thoughts of Hux from his mind along with the dirt and debris that fall so easily from his skin and hair. He’d never cared before.  In the past, Kylo had never given a single passing thought to Hux having someone in whom he confided - a friend? A lover?  But now it appears that he does have someone, in the form of Dopheld _Kriffing_ Mitaka.  

Of all the officers on board the Supremacy, it had to be Mitaka that Hux would go to.   _Mitaka_ !  Kylo still can’t believe it.  The mouse of a man - if you could even _call_ him a man - serves absolutely no purpose, other than to act as a sort of emotional punching bag for Kylo.   _Maybe that’s why Hux feels connected to him._ He groans at the thought that he could have been the impetus to drive them together.  

 _No. This is ridiculous,_ he chastises himself.   _What does it even matter?  Why do I even care at all?  Hux is nothing to me!  Nothing!  He can do as he damn well pleases.  He can associate with whomever he pleases.  He can_ fuck _whomever he pleases!_  

This last sentiment causes his stomach to lurch with such force that he thinks for a moment he might vomit.  With a ragged, guttural howl of fury, Kylo reels back and punches the shower wall as hard as he can.  The impact leaves no mark on the tiled wall, but there is a sickening crunch, and a spasm of white-hot pain shoots up his arm.  He doesn’t mind the pain.  The pain is grounding.  It nurtures his connection with the Dark side and lets him know that he is still a man, after all, and not just an unfeeling monster.

Panting and slightly dizzy, he reaches out with his uninjured hand and shuts off the water.  The refresher mirror is completely steamed over, and he brushes the mist away to peer at his reflection, disgusted by what he sees.  He has to stop this foolish, juvenile fantasy - has to still the spinning of his mind and emotions.  

Leaning on the vanity, he lifts his wounded hand to examine it.  His knuckles are bleeding and swollen, and judging by the pain that still shoots through his hand, he thinks he may have chipped a bone.  No matter.  He takes a roll of bandage out of the drawer and wraps the hand tightly before stumbling out of the steam-filled room and into his bedroom.

Once he’s towel dried himself and dressed in a pair of soft black sleep pants, Kylo collapses into bed.  Thoughts of General Hux and their time on Ryloth still hunch predator-like in the back of his mind. He pulls the covers up around himself tightly and grabs a spare pillow, hugging it to his chest.

He’d spent one night in that cave with Hux, looking after him, worrying over him, doing his best to keep him safe and comfortable. He’d barely slept at all that night, but what did it matter?  It was _one night._  What makes him think that, because of a single night, he’d formed some special connection with Hux?  And yet, they _had_ shared something, hadn’t they?  The experience had meant something to Kylo.  Had it meant nothing to Hux?  

Dizzy with the confusion of chasing his own circular thoughts, exhausted and defeated, Kylo finally lets his heavy eyelids fall closed.  On his side, with his pillow clutched to his belly, he falls into a fitful sleep and dreams that it’s Hux he’s holding against himself instead of a lifeless pillow.


	11. Interlude:  Leia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a quick update from the other side. I'm hoping to get another update out at some point over the weekend, where I will delve back into the mess that is Kylux. For now, have some Leia motherly angst. You're welcome. xoxo

“Yes, all is well.  No real damage done.  Your son is a ‘Force’ to be reckoned with, if you’ll pardon the pun.”  

The small, luminescent image of Ransolm Casterfo flickers on the Millennium Falcon’s console as Leia looks on, stifling a grin at her friend’s bad joke.  

“Well, he is my son, after all,” she replied, letting her smile show through.  “His reckless spirit, however, he gets from his father.”  The words bring a sharp pain to her heart, as she remembers the catastrophic events surrounding Han’s death, and Ben’s role in them.  She glances down at her hands resting in her lap, and Ransolm seems to understand her remorse.  

“Nevermind, Leia,” he says.  His tone is softer now - more tender.  “Your son remains unharmed, and though he did put my mind through a virtual wringer, we suffered no casualties.  He doesn’t know where you are headed, and I am glad that I did not know either.  He did seal off our most direct exit to the surface, but I have a team of excavators reopening it as we speak.  They’ll make short work of it, I have no doubt.

“His companion, however - _General_ Hux - looked a little worse for wear.  I believe he may have had a run-in with a rather imposing member of our native fauna here on Ryloth.  One of the lyleks must have become separated from its herd and wandered into the tunnels.  I imagine your son dispatched with it, so my people may be thankful for that, at least.  Doubtless, it would have done much worse damage if it had entered the village.”

Leia looks up with a sad smile and nods.  “I’m glad to hear that, Ransolm. I may as well tell you where we are going now,” she says. “We are heading back to Crait, to salvage what supplies we may from the base we abandoned there.  After that, we will continue our pilgrimage to the various star systems in the Outer Rim, spreading word of the Resistance and gathering recruits.”

“A wise course of action. But then, I expect no less of you, General,” Ransolm replies.

"Thank-you.  I appreciate… Well, how can I even express my gratitude for all you’ve done for us?  You and your village have been more of a blessing than you can ever possibly imagine, old friend.”

Ransolm smiles, looking almost shy for a brief moment, and Leia wonders again whether there could have been something between them, had she been younger, or Ransolm older.  Right now, though, she can’t imagine making plans for the future - not until the war is over.  

“It has been my great pleasure to assist you in any way that I can,” Casterfo says, bringing a hand to his heart and bowing slightly.  “I only hope that, once this war is won, we may meet again under more pleasant circumstances.”  

Leia smiles, and this time her expression is sincere.  “I hope that too, Ransolm,” she says.  “Until that day comes, may the Force be with you.”  

Ransolm Casterfo smiles broadly, head held high in his usual calm, confident self assurance and raises a hand in farewell.  “May the Force be with you, Leia Organa, always.”  He bows his head, and the image flickers out of existence.  

Leia flops back in her seat with a long sigh.  At this moment, she can barely think about reaching tomorrow, let alone surviving to see an end to all this war and bloodshed.  Her whole life has been spent fighting battles, both political and personal, and very often both at once.  She is old now, and weary, and she just wants it all to stop.  More than that, she wants her family back.  Han can never return to her; she knows that.  But her son is still out there, and she can’t give up on him.  Not while she still draws breath.  

Turning to Chewie, Leia hoists herself up from the chair and says, “I’m going to go to the back and try to get some rest.  Let me know when we’re nearing Crait.”  She pats his shoulder, letting her fingers curl into his soft fur for just a moment before pulling back.  Chewie turns his great shaggy head and utters a soft trill that lets her know he thinks a little rest would be a wise idea.  

“Thank-you, Chewie,” she says, and turns to exit the cockpit.

Leia makes her way to the back of the Falcon and finds the small room where she and Han used to sleep when they were away together on some errand or other, and had nowhere else to spend the night.  She lies down on the lumpy cot and runs her fingertips over the empty space beside her.  

“Oh, Han.  I wish you were here now,” she whispers, closing her eyes to fight back the tears she hides so well when anyone else is around.  

She had hoped she was wrong about Ben’s presence on Ryloth, but in her heart, she’d known he was there; she could sense his presence from the moment he set foot on the planet’s surface.  She is, at least, very relieved to know that he hadn’t harmed anyone in the village, and may have actually unwittingly saved them from a lylek attack.  It must have been a small one to have fit into those tunnels, but she knows that even a small lylek is a deadly threat.  

Leia rolls onto her back and stares up at the ceiling.  It feels like a miracle that this old ship is still in one piece, after all the action it’s seen.  But Han always took good care of the Falcon.  She’d never seen anyone take such pride in a ship before, and it was always a source of both endearment and irritation.  

Her thoughts wander back to Ben, and she closes her eyes, trying to still her mind - to get some feeling of where he is, what he’s doing, and what he’s feeling.  She knows his heart has been hardened - blackened by the Dark side of the Force.  But she can’t let go of the memory of her baby boy, with his chubby cheeks and dark ringlets tumbling into his face.  He was one of those babies everyone had said was ‘too pretty to be a boy,’ with his big, soulful brown eyes and his plump, pouty lips.  

Even as a baby, though, Ben Solo’d had a temper.  She has to smile as she remembers him having a massive, kicking, screaming tantrum when he’d been pulled away from the Falcon’s control panel, or throwing his bottle across the room in a huff when he’d drank the last drops of blue milk from it.  But he’d been a little boy - just a toddler - and that’s what toddlers do.  She’d had no idea at the time, that these things could have been pointing to a darker outcome for her precious child.  

Even now, she can’t believe anyone could have predicted his turn to the darkness, based on his early childhood.  He’d laughed and played, just like his peers.  He’d had hopes and dreams and a fantastic imagination.  But he’d felt everything with great intensity - both good and bad - and there were times when the two fluctuated so quickly that it left Leia feeling off-balance.  She knows, now, that Snoke had been wooing him from before he was even born.  But at the time, she had remained blissfully ignorant.  What would she give to go back and do things differently?  Would she even know what to change?  Could she have done more to save her son from this dark fate?  

These are the questions that have haunted Leia for the past 6 years, and no matter how often or how long she turns them over in her mind, she knows there is no answer, because she can’t go back in time, no matter how hard she wishes it.  That is one skill that even the Force cannot allow.  

A soft knock at the door brings Leia out of her revery, and she props herself up on one elbow.  “Come in,” she calls, and the door slides open to reveal Rey standing outside.  She shifts awkwardly, taking note that Leia had been trying to rest.  

“I’m sorry, General Organa.  I didn’t know you were trying to sleep.  I'll come back later.”

“Not at all.  Please, come in.  I could use the company,” Leia answers, pushing herself up to a seated position and patting the space beside her on the mattress.  “Please,” she repeats, seeing the hesitation in Rey’s expression.  

Somewhat reluctantly, Rey give a smile and a nod and steps into the room, letting the door shut behind her.  She takes a seat on the mattress with her hands clasped in her lap and eyes downcast.  Leia can tell that she’s come for a purpose, but she isn’t sure what that purpose is, and doesn’t want to rush her.  She reaches out a hand to give Rey a motherly pat on the knee and says, “How are you, my dear?”

Rey flinches slightly at the touch, but relaxes just as quickly, and with a pang of sadness, Leia remembers that the poor child must have been deprived of a nurturing touch for most of her young life.  The girl lifts her gaze to meet Leia’s, and her dark eyes are full of the same confusion and torment that cloud her own.   “What is it?” Leia asks softly.  “Don’t be afraid.  Whatever it is you want to say, you can say it to me.  I owe you more than I can ever express, Rey.  The least I can do is listen to you without judgement or criticism.”  

This seems to calm the girl a little, and she nods resolutely.  “I wanted to tell you about my time with Ben,” she says tentatively, peeking up at Leia from behind her lashes to gauge the elder woman’s reaction to the statement.  

“Oh…” Leia says.  She hadn’t been expecting this, but in retrospect, she feels she should have been.  “Very well,” she says, giving Rey a forced smile.  “Tell me.”  

Rey furrows her brow in a slight frown and looks away, seemingly drawing up a mental image of that day.  “I was so _sure_ he would turn,” she says suddenly, with a desperation in her voice that surprises Leia.  “I saw a vision, of his future. When we were bound together by Snoke...by the Force. I saw his future, and I know he was good.  I _know_ it.”  She grits her teeth, and Leia can tell she is trying to convince herself just as much as she is trying to convince Leia.  When Rey lifts her gaze once more there is sadness in her eyes, and Leia suddenly understands.  

“Oh, sweetheart,” she says in a hushed tone, lifting a hand to gently cradle Rey’s cheek.  The exact nature of her emotions are unclear, but she knows beyond a doubt that Rey has developed a strong attachment to her son.  Whether it is romantic, platonic, or something entirely different, she can’t be sure, but there is warmth and tenderness in her eyes, and Leia’s heart breaks for her, because she knows exactly how it feels to love Ben Solo.  

“Come here,” she says, and gathers the girl into her arms, holding her tightly as Rey begins to cry.  Her feelings become more substantial to Leia now - the hope she’d felt, the connection to Ben in shared experiences and feelings, the betrayal when Ben had turned away from her, and the grief of letting go.  She rubs Rey’s back and murmurs soft words of comfort until the girl’s sobs have ceased, and her breathing has stabilized.  

Pulling back, Rey wipes her eyes and sniffles, shaking her head apologetically.  “I’m sorry,” she whispers.  “I don’t normally lose control like that. I just… It’s been a very difficult week.”  

Leia shakes her head and offers her a handkerchief to dry her eyes and blow her nose.  “Don’t you dare apologize,” she says.  “Even the bravest of warriors must shed a tear from time to time.  I’m glad you came to me.”  

Rey smiles and nods.  “There is still good in him,” she says.  “Even after everything that’s happened, I know it’s true.  And I still believe he will turn back to the light.  He’s confused and conflicted, and angry.”  A pause.  “Just like me.”  

Leia reaches out to stroke Rey’s hair in a maternal gesture of comfort.  “I hope you’re right, my dear.  I hope you’re right.”  


	12. Part 9:  Hux

Hux awakens with a gasp, sitting up and instinctively bringing a hand to his chest where he’d been injured.  Glancing around him, he realizes he is in his own quarters, in his own bed.  He breathes out a long sigh of relief and slumps forward, cradling his face in his hands and grinding the heels of his palms into his weary eye sockets.  As his mind further throws off the shackles of sleep, he remembers that he was discharged from the medical wing the night before.  He’d been escorted back to his private quarters, despite his adamant insistence that he was perfectly capable of getting there on his own.  

Hux rakes his fingers through his burnished copper hair as another memory surfaces.  It’s fuzzy - a memory clouded by the haze of shock and pain medication - but he remembers Kylo Ren sitting at his bedside and reaching out to touch his arm.  It had been such a tender touch.  That is what stands out in Hux’s mind - far more gentle than he had ever imagined the Force user capable of.  Without thinking, his hand travels to the spot, his fingers gliding over the smooth skin where Ren's fingers had been.  

Realizing what he’s doing, Hux shakes his head and slides of out bed and heads to the refresher.  He’s missed two entire days of work as a result of tagging after Ren, and he would doubtless be welcomed back by a stack of paperwork on his desk.  The one bright spot in all this was that Ren hadn’t been on board the ship to destroy anything, since they’d gone to Ryloth together.  

He shuffles groggily into the refresher and stands in front of the mirror, studying the angry looking red welt across his chest.  It stands in contrast to the smaller, sharper scars that crisscross his pale skin, which have all healed by now.  The new wound looks more like a chemical burn, but he supposes that is essentially what it  _ is. _  It doesn’t hurt anymore - a small mercy - but the sight of it tells him just how fortunate he is to have had Ren with him.  How long had Ren carried him?  What else might the Force user have done to care for him while he’d been unconscious?  He recalls Ren asking him how much of the previous night he remembered, and he’s ashamed of the rosy flush that rises to his cheeks at the thought.  There is no telling what he might have said or done in his semi-delirious state, and the uncertainty of it gnaws at the pit of his stomach like an ulcer.   With a sigh of resignation, he turns away from the mirror and starts the water running for his shower, hoping that the cleansing flow will wash away these stubbornly clinging thoughts of Kylo Ren. 

***

After his morning officers’ meeting, Hux makes his rounds on the bridge, receiving status reports and updates on the workings of the Supremacy over the previous two days.  Everything appears to have gone smoothly in his absence, apart from the infuriating (though not unexpected) news that the Resistance has once again eluded them.  Having gotten the jump on Ren and him on Ryloth, they had apparently stayed in constant motion, always just out of reach of the First Order's scouts.  Unless they wanted to blow up the entire Outer Rim - which Hux would be all too willing to do if given the means - they will have to simply continue their search until the Resistance stays still long enough to be targeted.  

Following his morning routine, Hux retires to his office where, as predicted,  he is greeted by a stack of reports.  He stifles a groan at the sight as he slips off his greatcoat and hangs it by the door, taking care to smooth any wrinkles from the fabric before stepping away. Taking a seat behind his desk, Hux presses the intercom button and orders a cup of bitter tarine tea to be brought to his office.  If he is going to be forced to wade through the bungles, blunders, and expenditures of the First Order, he is going to need some fuel.  

Hux picks up the first report and stares at it, scowling.  After coming so close to having lost his life, to be bothered with any form of paperwork feels like tedious child’s play.  Surely there is some underling to whom he might assign such a menial task.  But Hux takes pride in his work, and he feels sure that anyone else would make an even bigger mess of it than what it already is.  The office door slides open by way of a welcome distraction from his fretting.  

“That was very quick,” he comments, his focus still on the report in his hands.  “Just set it down on my desk and go back to your business.” 

The newcomer clears his throat hesitantly before venturing to speak.  “Excuse me, Sir.” 

Hux looks up from his work with obvious irritation.  “I  _ said _ , you may place the--”  He pauses, realizing that the officer before him is not holding a cup of tea, nor is there a teacup present anywhere on his desk.  “What is the meaning of this?  Don’t tell me we’ve run out of tarine?”

The officer swallows nervously.  “No, Sir.  Or, at least…  not that I am aware of, Sir.  I only came to deliver a message to you from the Supreme Leader.  He requests… that is, he  _ demands _ your presence in the throne room immediately.”  He gives an apologetic grimace at the choice of verbiage from the Supreme Leader.

Hux rolls his eyes without realizing what he’s doing.   _ Of course, this day has been running much too smoothly _ , he thinks.  “Very well.  You may tell the Supreme Leader that I shall report to him as soon as it is convenient for me to be parted from my work.”  He gestures toward the stack of reports and adds, “As you can see, I’ve fallen quite behind on these very important reports.”

The officer looks stricken, and Hux realizes he is terrified to deliver such a message to the great and powerful Kylo Ren.  The thought of the poor man being Force choked to death doesn’t sit particularly well with him, either, so he shakes his head and holds up a hand.  “Never mind that.  You may report to the Supreme Leader that your message was delivered and to expect my presence at once.

This response seems more acceptable to the officer, who salutes sharply before turning to exit the office.  

“Well, then.  I suppose  _ you _ will have to wait a little while longer,” Hux mutters to the stack of work, just as the door hisses open once more.  “I thought I  _ told  _ you--”

Dopheld Mitaka stands in the doorway, smiling and holding a steaming cup of tea.  The aroma of it reaches Hux’s nose, and he immediately feels calmed by it.  

“I saw one of the clerks carrying a cup of tea in this direction, and I knew it had to be meant for you, so I took it off his hands,”  Mitaka says cheerfully, stepping into the office to allow the door to shut behind him.  

Hux’s grim expression turns instantly brighter and he stands from his chair, stepping around his desk to greet Mitaka.  He extends a hand, which is instantly clasped and shaken warmly.  “Dopheld.  It’s so good to see you.  Please, come in and have a seat.  Sit with me while I drink my tea.”

Mitaka nods and sits casually in the seat across the desk from where Hux has settled back into his chair.  

“I was so glad to hear that you’d been released from sick bay,” Mitaka says, folding his hands in his lap and leaning forward slightly.  “And here you are, already back on duty.  You were in quite a state when I went to see you there yesterday.”  

“Ah, so it  _ was _ you!” Hux exclaims, pleased with himself for having recognized his friend’s voice.  “I was sure I’d heard you nearby as I was drifting in and out of consciousness, but by the time I came to, the only one there was Re--  was the Supreme Leader.”  He frowns.  Something about uttering Ren’s name in the presence of another person feels...different, somehow.  “Speaking of the ‘Supreme Leader’, I’m expected in the throne room.”  

“Oh?  When?” Mitaka inquires.

“Now.”  Hux smirks as he brings the teacup to his lips and takes a sip, letting the warmth radiate through his entire being.  

“Oh!”  Mitaka utters, eyes widening in alarm.  It’s no secret that Mitaka is petrified of Kylo Ren, and with good reason.  Hux has heard the stories, both from the other officers and from Mitaka, himself.  Granted, Ren’s never truly  _ injured  _ him  _ physically _ \- not like Snoke had done with Ren and himself.  He just enjoys toying with him, like a giant cat playing with a mouse.  “I should let you go, then,” Mitaka continues, breaking Hux’s thoughts.  

“Nonsense!”  Hux waves a hand dismissively and takes another sip of his tea before holding up the cup.  “I’ve just gotten my tea.  I couldn’t let it go to waste, now, could I?  Ren can wait.  It won’t kill him to learn a little patience.”  The thought of making Ren wait gives Hux a certain thrill, and he grins to himself as he sips.  

“Well, if you are certain,” Mitaka says hesitantly.  “I um...ran into him in the sick bay yesterday, while you were being taken to your recovery room.”  

“Oh?”  This piques Hux’s curiosity.  

“Y-yes,” Mitaka stammers, obviously disturbed by the memory.  

“What did he say?”  Hux presses, unwilling to let it go just yet.  

Mitaka drops his gaze to his hands and beginning fidgeting.  “Well… He was angry.  I mean, I think he was angry with  _ me _ , for using your first name.”  His brow furrows slightly, once again confused by the odd turn of events.  “He threw me back and threatened to demote me or execute me for disrespecting a high ranking officer.”  

“What?”  Hux laughs, brows raised in disbelieving amusement.  Ren is volatile, yes, but this story sounds too preposterous to be true.  Since when did Kylo Ren  _ ever _ care about showing respect to him, let alone caring about anyone  _ else  _ showing him respect?  

“It’s true,” Mitaka is quick to confirm.  “He asked me how I dared to use your first name, and wanted to know why I was there.  Someone else came in and he demanded to know where you’d been taken and why no one had informed him of it.  Then he stormed out, and I made a run for it.”  He gives a bob of his shoulders, unashamed of admitting that he’d fled the scene the moment he’d had the opportunity.  

Hux leans back in his chair and steeples his hands, running one forefinger lightly over his lips.  He is confused and a little shocked by this revelation.   _ What in blazes could have gotten Ren so riled up like that? _  Surely, he hadn’t been so concerned over Hux’s wellbeing.  But why tear into Mitaka like that?  It didn’t sound like a simple game of cat and mouse.  It sounded like Ren had been genuinely enraged.  And yet, when he’d wakened, Ren had been calm and composed - even gentle with him.  It simply doesn’t make any sense.  

“I’m sorry that he hurt you,” Hux says, reaching out for his teacup.  “That was uncalled for.  But then, most of what Ren does is uncalled for, so I suppose it’s nothing out of the ordinary.”  He chuckles and takes a sip of his tea.  “Still, you hadn’t done anything inappropriate, and it was wrong for him to treat you in such a manner.  I'll speak to him about it.” 

“Oh, no, don't do that!" Mitaka stammers, alarmed by the idea.  "It’s alright, really,”  Mitaka replies, shrugging slightly.  “It isn’t as though I’m not used to it.  I just don’t understand what made him so angry.  He seemed really frantic.  He must have been very worried about you.”  

“Mm…”  Hux grunts, swallowing the last of his tea and setting the cup down.  “Perhaps.”  He has no idea what to do with this new information, but feels oddly invigorated by it.  

“I was worried for you, too, of course,”  Mitaka adds, blushing slightly.  

Hux gives him a reassuring smile and reaches across the desk to give his hand a friendly pat.  “I know you were, Dopheld.  Thank-you for coming to check on me.  It means a lot.”  

Mitaka returns the smile, and his blush deepens a little.  “I hadn’t realized that you and the Supreme Leader were… well…”  He pauses, fiddling with his fingers again.

“What?” Hux inquires, frowning slightly. 

“Well,  _ close _ ,” Mitaka says.  

Now it is Hux’s turn to flush.  He feels the prickling heat inching up his neck and he hates it.  Hates the fact that such a simple statement can evoke such a reaction from him, but even more, he hates what that reaction says about him.  Clearing his throat, he chuckles awkwardly and says, “Well, that is because we’re  _ not _ close.  I don’t know what had him in such a state yesterday, but I assure you it had nothing to do with any true concern for my welfare.”  

Mitaka looks slightly relieved by this statement and offers a nervous little laugh of his own.  “Right.  Of course.  Well, I really should get back to my post,” he says, standing from his chair abruptly.  “Maybe we could meet for dinner one night.  It’s been a while since we had a chance to relax and catch up.”  

“Indeed, it has,” Hux agrees, smiling as he stands up and smooths his uniform over his chest.  “Perhaps tomorrow evening?”  

“Perfect,”  Mitaka says.  “Officers’ Lounge at… say… 1900 hours?”  

“I’ll be there,” Hux replies.  “See you then.” 

Mitaka grins and exits, leaving Hux to wonder about the exact nature of their relationship.  Dopheld has been a good friend to him in the sense that he has been a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on when Hux is frustrated or discouraged.  It’s probably the closest Hux has let anyone get to him in his time with the First Order, since he’s always preferred to remain separate from the masses, aloof and proud.  He demands respect, and he receives it universally.  Lately, though, he’s begun to wonder whether Dopheld has been fostering more intense feelings for him.  He hopes not.  Such an attachment would completely ruin the dynamic they have cultivated with one another as confidantes.  Who else could Hux rant to about their new Supreme Nuisance _? _

Hux and Mitaka take solace in being able to identify with one another in their mutual distaste for Ren.  Those negative feelings differ in nature, however, as Mitaka has always been afraid of the Force user.  He can understand why, but Hux has never truly  _ feared   _ Kylo Ren, himself.  His feelings for Ren have always been much more complex.  Never has one man been so adept at crawling under the general’s skin and festering there like a parasitic organism.  He is powerful, certainly, and volatile… reckless, impulsive, spiteful, and rash.  But even Hux has to admit that he exudes a certain majesty in everything he does - the way he carries himself, the way he moves, the intensity with which he carries out everything he sets his will to.  He is a sort of beautiful catastrophe - a conundrum, and one that Hux finds infuriating in its refusal to be categorized or filed away into a neat compartment.  

Rising from his chair once again, Hux makes a decision to discuss these thoughts with Mitaka the following evening.  It simply won’t do for him to foster any notions of the two of them ever being  _ more _ than friends and confidantes.  With a weary sigh, he slips into his greatcoat and exits the office on his way to the throne room.  

***

“Where the varp have you been?”  Ren shouts as Hux enters the throne room.  He’s obviously agitated, and this gives Hux a little thrill of conquest.   _ Varp?  He really is cracking if he’s slipped back into using Alderaanian expletives, _ he thinks.

“Apologies, Supreme Leader,” Hux says, bowing his head slightly to hide the smirk on his lips.  “I was on my way to answer your summons, but I had an unexpected visitor.  I knew you would be understanding of such an interruption.”  

Ren huffs, slouching on Snoke’s throne.  He looks ridiculous sitting there, but Hux would never dare to say as much.  Someone like Ren doesn’t belong on a throne, sitting pretty like a doll.  He belongs on the battlefield, with the wind in his hair and fire in his eyes.  

“Who was so important that you felt the need to ignore my summons?” Ren asks.  

“Lieutenant Mitaka,” Hux answers, not missing a beat.  He scrutinizes the Supreme Leader, waiting for some reaction.  He doesn’t need to wait long.  

“Mitaka?” Ren very nearly chokes on the word, lunging forward in his throne, planting his hands on its arms as if to launch himself through the air, right at Hux.  “Don’t you mean  _ Dopheld _ ?”  His lips curl into a fiendish snarl, giving Hux an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

“Well, yes…” Hux says, feeling slightly off balance by this exaggerated response.  “He stopped by my office with a cup of tea, and we had a brief chat.”  

This explanation does nothing to calm the rattled Ren.  “Oh, you have him serving you your tea now?  That’s fair enough, I suppose.  It’s about all the sniveling wretch is good for.  Do you have him sweep and mop your floors as well?  And what did you talk about?”

Hux feels anger building in his belly at the interrogation.  What right has Ren to ask about his private conversations with a friend, and what makes him think it is acceptable to hurl insults at a man who has never in his life lifted a finger against Ren, or anyone else in the First Order, for that matter?  Yes, Mitaka can be timid, but that is not an altogether negative thing.  On the bridge or in a combat situation, obedience without question or hesitation is an asset.  

“Lieutenant Mitaka, or  _ Dopheld _ , as you call him, is an able bodied, competent officer of the First Order, and a good man, and you should appreciate his fine service under your rulership,” Hux retorts, trying to keep his voice steady.  He knows he is treading on thin ice, and he half expects to feel the cool grip of a Force energy noose closing around his neck.  When one does not become apparent, he takes another step forward and continues, emboldened.  “And furthermore, the topics of my private and personal conversations are none of your concern.  You may be Supreme Leader of the First Order, and I may be subjected to you in my political and military duties, but I am  _ not _ your  _ slave _ , and neither is Mitaka.”  

This, apparently, was a step too far.  Ren lunges off the throne and forward, uncomfortably close to Hux.  There is fury behind those dark eyes, and rage crackles off him like static electricity, making the hairs on Hux’s arms rise beneath his uniform.  

“How dare you?” he snarled, his voice low and deceptively calm.  “I should have left you to die on Ryloth.  You would have made a tasty snack for that lylek.  But no.  I carried you to safety, nursed you through the night, and brought you back here to be treated, waiting by your bed like a kriffing dog, just so I could be  _ certain _ that you were alright.  And for what?  So you can sneer at my concern?  So you can throw Dopheld Kriffing Mitaka in my face?  He is nothing!  No one!  He doesn’t deserve to lace your boots, much less grace your bed!”  

Kylo whirls, marching back to the throne with his fists tightly clenched at his sides.  Hux can only stare after him in shock.   _ What in the entire kriffing galaxy is he on about? My  _ bed _?  He’s lost his crinking mind! _ _ What did I  ever say that would give him that idea? _  But then another thought hits him like a ton of bantha bone.   _ He’s jealous! _

“Ren, wait,” he says, instinctively wanting to clear up the misunderstanding. But when he sees the glare Ren is casting in his direction, Hux pauses.  This could be used to his advantage, to help him show Ren how distressing his connection with the scavenger is.  Obviously, it isn’t the same - _not at all_ \- but it is similar enough to get his point across, since Ren, for whatever reason, seems to harbor decidedly negative feelings toward the lieutenant.

“I understand your frustration, Supreme Leader,” he says, reeling in his myriad emotions in favor of a placid, rational tone.  “It is, indeed, troubling when a person one respects appears to be taken in by someone deemed inferior.  Imagine, for instance, how it makes me feel to hear you speak of the scavenger rat with such tenderness.”  He smirks up at Ren, confident that he will have no choice but to consider the statement with logic and fairness.  After all, Hux has just as good as told Ren that he respects him.  That ought to count for something.

He is sadly mistaken.  A powerful blast of energy knocks him back several steps and he gasps, not from pain, but from complete and utter surprise.  Ren has stood from his throne, slightly hunched forward and panting as if he’s just run a great distance.  The fury Hux expects to see in his eyes is not present, however.  Or if it is, it is mingled with something else - something less easily defined.  

“Get out,” Ren growls, pointing at the doors. 

Dumbstruck, Hux has no choice but to obey.  He gives a stiff bow and, turning, exits the throne room as quickly as he can.  All the while, his mind spins, trying to make some semblance of sense out of what has just passed between them.  It is only after he’s back in his office and well into his first report that he realizes Ren never told him why he had summoned him in the first place.  


	13. Part 10:  Kylo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be forewarned: This chapter contains **_mildly explicit _ **content. If you do not wish to see it, you may want to consider skipping this chapter.  
> **  
>  Hope you enjoy!__**

Following the confrontation in the throne room, Kylo Ren  spent the majority of the day in seclusion, seething and brooding over Hux’s insolence.  After all Kylo had done for him - after all his hours of worry and care - this is the repayment he gets?  He doesn’t even fully understand from where this depth of rage is coming, but he is consumed by it to the extent that he is unable to focus on anything else. Somehow, painfully, he’d managed to get through that day.  

Now - the day after his run-in with Hux - he sits slumped in his throne, glaring at the officer who has come to give the Supreme Leader his daily report.  He glares because the officer is not Mitaka, whom he had specifically requested.  He had been looking forward to it all morning, eager to terrorize the man until he was reduced to a quivering mass of terror and anguish.  Now that this small satisfaction has been stolen from him, he’ll have to come up with some other form of gratification.  

Doubtless, it had been Hux who’d caught wind of his request and whisked the Lieutenant away on some very special task - one which couldn’t possibly be carried out by anyone other than his precious  _ Dopheld _ .  Ridiculous.  Preposterous.  Infuriating.  

By the time Kylo realizes he hasn’t heard a word the officer has said, the report is ending.  He dismisses the officer grudgingly, knowing he is physically incapable of focusing on anything today.  Besides, if there were any truly urgent developments, Hux would have contacted him directly by now.  

_ Wouldn’t he? _

Kylo slouches back in his throne, his long legs stretched out before him, twitching with a nervous energy that threatens to tear him open from the inside out.  Suddenly, he is certain that another day spent in this throne room will drive him out of his mind.  

“Clear the gymnasium.  I am going to train, and I will have no interruptions.”  He rises from the throne and turns to address his chief guard.  As he makes his way to the door, he pauses.  “With one exception.  If General Hux comes looking for him, send him to the gym.  But no one else.  Understood?”  

The chief guard snaps to attention and bows, acknowledging the instructions.  He and two of his comrades exit the throne room to carry out their orders, leaving the other five standing at attention in their places.  

Kylo exits through his own personal passageway that leads to his private quarters, and as he goes, he can feel his tension already beginning to dissipate.  Just having a plan does some good, and he knows that physical activity will be even more effective.  Once in his quarters, he quickly changes into a black tank top and sweatpants and throws some essentials into his gym bag.  Quickly deciding that he will not return home for several hours, he grabs a protein packet and a water bottle, and tosses them into his bag before heading out.

***

A few stretches and a quick jog have served as a sufficient warmup, and Kylo settles onto his weight bench.  It is difficult for him to focus on lifting the weights using only his physical body.  His use of the Force is so ingrained in his everyday life that it is a challenge to suppress it.  It is essential, though, to keep his physical body in peak condition, and actively suppressing the flow of Force energy helps to keep his will and spirit primed as well.  It makes him feel powerful, knowing he can turn the flow of the Force on and off like a spigot.  

Kylo begins his routine with a barbell fitted with two 50 pound weights, and gradually increases until he is bench pressing twice his body weight.  Winded and damp with sweat, he drops the bar onto the weight crutch and sits up quickly. His arms and chest feel fatigued, but overall he feels exhilarated.  

The next few hours are spent alternating between aerobic exercise and weight training using various parts of his body.  The exertion and the pain are like a cleansing fire, burning away the dross that is General Hux and his precious Mitaka.  Only in pain can Kylo find sufficient distraction from this thorn in his side, and he throws himself into the workout with reckless abandon.  

Finally, he is ready for his daily combat training drills.  He smirks as he pulls out a few training dummies.  “I dub thee Dopheld Mitaka,” he declares, giving the dummy a whack on both shoulders with his training rod.  Turning to the next dummy, he said, “And you, my friend, I dub General Armitage Hux, of the ‘Fuhst Awduh’.”  His Imperial accent impression is horrendous, but it suits his needs at the moment, and he gives a derisive chuckle.  The third dummy is left sadly unnamed as Kylo begins his routine.  

With the grace of a panther, Kylo moves around his stationary opponents, dodging and parrying imagined attacks and striking with a few of his own.  He leaps and ducks, bends and twists in every possible position as he thrusts, slices, cleaves, clubs, and shreds.  He only halts the onslaught after he’s struck the Mitaka dummy with so much force that the blunt training rod has lodged itself firmly into the side of its neck, refusing to be removed.  

Kylo releases his grip on the rod and leans forward with his hands on his thighs, panting hard as droplets of perspiration drip from his hair to splash on the floor at his feet.  His heart is pounding and his lungs are burning, but he feels better than he has felt since before the trip to Ryloth.  All that’s left now is to grab a quick shower, and he’ll be ready to take his evening meal in peace and comfort.  

The gym showers are, like the rest of the gym, empty.  Kylo sheds his clothes, not bothering to put them into a locker, and grabs his bar of soap and bottle of shampoo.  He steps into the communal shower, causing the dim overhead lighting to flicker on with a soft electrical buzz, and chooses a spot in the far corner with his back to the entrance. 

The water runs hot almost immediately, and he steps under the flow, lifting his face to let the water wash over him, droplets collecting in his eyelashes and soaking his hair before running down his chest and back.  He takes a few moments to simply relish the sensation of the steaming deluge, bracing his hands against the shower wall and relaxing his muscles.  It feels good.

He reaches for the bottle of shampoo, which floats through the air to meet his outstretched hand, and pours some of the viscous substance into his palm.  With a sigh of contentment, he begins to lather his hair, making sure to coat each strand with the sweet smelling shampoo before turning to rinse the suds down the drain.  Turning back to the wall, he reaches for the bar of soap and begins to wash his body, chest first, then arms, legs, and pelvis.  

He is rinsing off when it suddenly occurs to him that Hux has not sought him out at all that day.  The revelation should not bother him.  After all, he specifically demanded that he not be interrupted in his workout.  Surely that should extend to interruption by General Hux.  And yet, some part of him had fully expected Hux to storm into the gym at some point, angrily berating him for his hostility toward the poor, defenseless Mitaka.  The fact that he had not irks Kylo... and  _ knowing _ that it irks him only adds fuel to the fire in his belly.  

Without being fully aware of his actions, he begins re-lathering his body with the bar of soap.  His mind, which had been so free and clear during his training, is suddenly flooded with thoughts of Hux.  Kriffing Armitage Hux, and kriffing Dopheld Mitaka.  Unbidden, an image of the two men locked in some passionate embrace crashes into his consciousness, and his entire field of vision goes red.  

_ No.  No, no, no.  What is it to me?  Why should I care?  Kriffing hells, Hux!  _  But his self-chastisement does nothing to alleviate the churning in his gut.  Even more alarming is the realization that his body has responded dramatically to the image in a way he hadn’t expected at all:  a hot, rigid erection has grown beneath his fingers while washing.   _ Right, perfect.  This is just what I need,  _ he thinks.  But he is alone.  There’s no one here to see him, and there’s no good reason why he shouldn’t use this opportunity to blow off a little more steam.  

He lets his strong fingers encircle his arousal, still slick with soap, and begins stroking, trying not to acknowledge the cause of this sudden… development.  The hot water continues to cascade down his body, and he turns his face toward the spray once more.  The rivulets tickle his now-erect nipples as they flow down his sculpted chest, and he parts his lips in a soft gasp of pleasure.  

He’s just getting ready to wrap up the process and finish himself off when he’s suddenly aware of a presence in the gym with him.  It’s Hux.   _ Of course it is.  Of  _ course _ , he would wait until now to show up.   _

“Ren? Where are y--” 

He hears Hux’s voice - notes the way his sentence is abruptly cut short - but he pretends not to have heard.  He does not turn, nor stop the pumping motion of his hand. It is plausible that the sound of the water crashing around him could have drowned out the sound of a voice.  Better to go about his business as if he is oblivious to Hux’s presence.  But then a feeling hits him like a blaster beam, nearly knocking the breath from his lungs.  Hux is still there, frozen, staring.  He knows this without ever turning to look at the man.  The feelings radiating from the ginger are deafening in volume.  Without looking, he can see Hux’s eyes widening, his tongue gliding roughly over his lips, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows thickly.  He can hear his pulse quicken, the hitch in his breath, the soft gasp of surprise.  Hux is  _ watching _ him, and he is thoroughly enjoying the show.  The thought sends a jolt of white hot arousal shooting through Kylo’s body, and he feels his member grow somehow impossibly harder in his grasp and an involuntary groan slips past his lips.

Very well.  Kylo decides to pursue this unexpected opportunity to drive home an expression of his own ‘feelings’, since Hux has seemed so anxious to talk about them.  In an exaggerated show, Kylo tips his head back, letting his wet hair trail over his shoulders and cling to his wet back.  He flexes his hips, thrusting up into his own hand and moaning.  With fiendish delight, he utters a single word, letting it linger melodically in the thick steam-filled air:  “Rey…” 

His hand rises and falls with increasing speed and force, until the pressure in his belly reaches the breaking point, and he crumples against the shower wall, trembling and groaning and panting.  He feels lightheaded and giddy, and it takes him a moment before he trusts himself to stand up straight.  He finishes rinsing the last of the soap away and turns off the water, reaching for a towel. 

When he finally turns, Hux is gone.

***

When the time for his evening meal rolls around, Kylo is feeling positively triumphant.  Thoroughly pleased with his quick thinking in throwing out Rey’s name, he is confident that he finally has the upper hand in this little game.  It’s unfortunate that Hux had pushed him to take such measures.  He almost feels badly about it.   _ Almost…  _

In his mind’s eye, he can see Hux coming to him, humbled and distraught, begging Kylo to turn his back on Rey and take him instead.  And then, when he’s finally brought Hux to his knees, he tells him that he’s just not interested, and that he ought to go crawling to Mitaka with his problems.  The image gives him more smug satisfaction than it ought to.  It would serve him right.  And yet… 

Kylo breaks the line of thought before he can dwell on the lingering doubt and regret that gnaw insistently at the pit of his stomach.  He’s decided to take his evening meal in the officers’ lounge, in the hopes of running into General Hux.  He’s looking forward to seeing the look on the ginger’s face when next they meet.  

Having dressed in his uniform, Kylo makes his way to the lounge with his head held high and a grin on his lips.  Stepping inside, his gaze is immediately drawn to a small private table in the back of the room, lit by a single flickering lantern.  There, all alone and with his back to the door, sits General Hux.   _ This is too perfect, _ Kylo thinks, waving off the hostess who is wasting her breath by offering to show him to their finest table.  

He crosses the room, each step bringing him closer and closer to his prize until, suddenly, a small man with dark hair steps out of the refresher and, beaming, takes the seat opposite Hux.  Every nerve ending in Kylo’s body suddenly burns, while the blood in his veins turns to ice.  He freezes in his steps, horrified by what is taking place right before his eyes, and for a moment he feels like he might be sick.  

Fortunately, he is still far enough away that neither Mitaka nor Hux has spotted him.  He continues his trajectory straight past the table to the refresher, hoping he has evaded Hux’s gaze as he hurries by.

Inside the refresher, he leans against the counter, staring at his reflection in the mirror.  How is it possible that he has gone from utter elation to absolute devastation within mere moments?  And why?  Because of one man?  No, because of  _ two _ men.

Kylo grits his teeth and scowls into the mirror.  He can’t let this ruin his night.  He needs to look at this as an opportunity.  If he can position himself at just the right angle, he can observe Hux and Mitaka without them knowing.  This could be his chance to determine, once and for all, whether the two are secret lovers or not.  Maybe he’s had it all wrong.  Maybe they’re not lovers, after all.  Maybe this is all just one big misunderstanding.  This thought brings with it both relief and a guilt of its own.  If Hux isn’t involved with Mitaka, then Kylo’s cruel jab in the showers was below the belt, but he can’t think about that now.  He splashes a bit of cold water on his face and dries it with a paper towel.  Smoothing his uniform down his chest and stomach, he straightens his posture and walks out of the refresher to find a seat.  

There is an empty table on the other side of the bar, which occupies the center area of the large, dimly lit room.  Kylo settles into the chair and finds that it affords him the perfect angle to observe his subjects without their notice, assuming that neither of them turns to deliberately look his way.  He orders a rare bantha steak with mixed vegetables and a glass of wine.  Not normally much of a drinker, Kylo reasons that he needs something to help take the edge off his tense mood.  

He tries to remain inconspicuous but, being the Supreme Leader, Kylo naturally draws attention, and by the time he’s received his food, he has little doubt that Hux is aware of his presence.  Stealing glances across the bar, he notices the way Hux appears to be completely at ease with the lieutenant.  His shoulders are loose, his expression is casual, and his legs are crossed at the ankles, knees parted.  The two men converse in a cheerful and animated tone, exchanging smiles and laughs, and the odd touch on occasion - a pat of the hand or a touch on the forearm when expressing some sentiment involved with the story they are telling.  

Every glance Kylo takes serves to raise his level of tension by degrees.  Every laugh, every glance, every touch of hands or brush of feet has Kylo’s jaw grinding and his muscles clenching.  Any hope he’d fostered of this encounter calming his fears has all but evaporated, like a dew drop on Jakku.  Kylo is very close to blowing a fuse when suddenly, Hux leans low across the table and holds up a hand to shield his lips from Kylo’s view.  Mitaka mirrors his posture, smiling like the idiot he is, and nodding.  It is clear that Hux has whispered something to the other man, but Kylo doesn’t know what.  The resulting emotion rising in his throat is somewhere between frenzied panic and immolating fury.  Then, just as suddenly, Hux rises and places a hand on Mitaka’s shoulder.  Mitaka stands as well, and the two of them turn to exit the lounge, leaving their meals only half eaten on their plates.  

Kylo can hardly believe what he’s just seen, and he pivots in his seat to openly stare after the two men.  His heart drops into the pit of his stomach as he sees Hux turn his head and cast an impish grin over his shoulder at Kylo.  He loops his arm through Mitaka’s and leans against him as they leave the lounge together.  

Everything goes black.  There is only darkness and silence.  The room is spinning, and a shrill, distant ringing gradually rises in Kylo’s head until he thinks it might burst.  Little by little, his vision clears, and he becomes aware that many of those who’d been seating around him are hurrying out of the lounge.  Others are staring in obvious disapproval.  

When he finally regains control over his faculties, Kylo realizes that his plate and its contents are on the floor on the opposite side of the lounge.  The plate has shattered from the impact of being hurled against the wall, as evidenced by the dark splatter about four feet off the ground.  Shards of porcelain litter the floor, surrounding his rare bantha steak, which remains whole and untouched.  


	14. Part 11:  Hux

“You should have seen his face, Doph.  It was absolutely priceless!”  

General Hux is lounging on his ice blue sofa with one leg draped over the arm and the other stretched out in front of him.  He takes a swig of his brandy and smacks his lips with satisfaction.  “I only hope the Officers’ Lounge is still in one piece by this time tomorrow,” he adds with a smirk.  

Mitaka is sitting in a chair next to the sofa, nursing his own glass of brandy and laughing along with his friend.  Behind closed doors, there are no military formalities between the two of them; Armitage Hux is simply ‘Mit’ and Dopheld Mitaka is ‘Doph’ in a comfortable familiarity of which most First Order officers would never imagine Hux capable.  “I wouldn’t count on that, Mit,” Dopheld says lightly, swirling the amber liquid in his glass.  “I’ve personally witnessed his wrath against inanimate objects, and it’s not to be underestimated.”  

Hux laughs out loud at this and raises his glass as if to toast.  “In this instance, I think the satisfaction would be worth the destruction.”  

Mitaka grimaces and shakes his head.  “As long as I’m not forced to stand by and watch it happen, I suppose.”  

Hux takes another sip  from his glass and sets it down on the coffee table with a contented sigh.  He’s more thankful than he can say to have had Mitaka’s company this evening, after the day he’s had.  The brandy in his glass is simply the icing on the cake.  

Hux had sought Ren out in the gym, already irritated by the need to make the extra trip after having gone all the way to the throne room.  He’d wanted to discuss their plans going forward and give the Supreme Leader the latest update from their scouts, such as it was.  Now that would have to wait, but it made little difference, considering that there wasn’t truly anything new to report…  

Perhaps what Hux had really wanted was simply to try and smooth things over after their confrontation the previous day.  What he  _ hadn’t  _ counted on was the display presented to him in the showers... nor the sickening way his heart had sunk at the sound of the scavenger’s name.  

Fortunately, Hux hadn’t had much time to dwell on the encounter, since he’d already made plans to meet Mitaka for dinner shortly thereafter.  He’d ducked out of the gym before Kylo could spot him and hurried back to his private quarters to prepare for the evening.  

The truth was that seeing Ren… like that…  _ doing that _ … (He still couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge by name the deed he’d witnessed) had made him feel confused, frustrated, and ashamed.  Then again, perhaps it had been his own  _ reaction _ to the event that had made him feel that way.  The only thing he knew for sure was that hearing Ren say the scavenger’s name had made him feel like he’d been run over by a speeder, whatever he might have been feeling before that moment.  

Then, when he spotted Ren in the officers’ lounge later that evening, Hux had felt like his heart might jump right out of his chest.  Once he’d regained control of his breathing, however, a plan began to take shape in his mind.  He’d made sure that Ren was watching him, and then done everything he could possibly think of to give the impression that he and Dopheld were on a date.  He’d been sure to laugh heartily at Doph’s jokes, even if they weren’t very good, and give little furtive touches and glances to his companion, keeping his posture relaxed and inviting.  Their abrupt departure from the lounge had been the pièce de résistance, and the expression on Ren’s face as they left had been absolutely magnificent.  

Now, sequestered away in the general’s private quarters, the two men sit casually, sipping their brandies and snacking on Arkanisian caviar, cheese, and flatbreads.  Mitaka doesn’t seem to have much of an appetite, though he’s nearly finished his second glass of brandy. This seems unusual for Doph, and Hux studies him thoughtfully.  He feels his heart sink a little at the realization that he’s just used his closest friend to make Ren suffer, and Dopheld must know it.  

“Doph, I’m sorry about all this,” he says, waving a hand as if Hux’s quarters had somehow offended his friend.  He holds out the bottle, offering to top off Mitaka’s drink, but the lieutenant holds out a hand and shakes his head, gaze averted from Hux’s.  

“No thank-you,” he says.  

Hux sighs, dreading the conversation that he knows is coming.  To his surprise, however, Mitaka speaks before he can carry out his full apology. 

“I don’t get it, Mit,” Mitaka says, finally lifting his gaze to look straight into Hux’s eyes.  The sudden eye contact is a little disarming, and Hux is thrown off balance, confused by the statement. 

“Don’t get…  _ what? _ ” he asks, though his mind is already beginning to put the pieces together.  “Doph, it was all just a ploy to take the piss out of Ren.  Nothing more.  I didn’t mean to--” 

But Mitaka cuts him off with a decisive shake of his head.  “No.  I get  _ that _ .  You’ve made that pretty clear, in fact.  What I  _ don’t  _ understand is  _ why _ .  Why is it so important that you provoke him?  Because, let me tell you, if he gets angry enough, you’re going to find out first-hand that being on the receiving end of his wrath is not as much fun as you might think.” 

“I know that,” Hux says quietly, having a sudden, unwelcome flashback to that day in the throne room.  He can practically still feel the icy pressure closing around his windpipe, and he swallows, just to prove to himself that he can.  

“Then  _ why _ ?”  Mitaka persists.  His expression is pained now - concerned for his friend.  “He can hurt you, Mit.  Badly.  And I’m afraid that, if you make him angry enough, there’s nobody that will be able to save you.”

Hux sighs heavily and pulls his leg free from the arm of the couch so he can plant both feet on the floor and look directly at his friend.  The truth is that he doesn’t even know exactly why he’s doing this.  Of  _ course  _ he knows that Ren could hurt him.  But somehow that doesn’t matter, because he’s already done more damage to Hux’s pride more than any physical beating ever could inflict on his body. He shrugs.  “He hurt me, so I’m hurting him,” he says, knowing this isn’t truly an answer to Dopheld’s question.  

Mitaka isn’t satisfied.  “No, Mit.  I  _ know _ you.  You don’t do anything without a reason.  So for you to take a risk like this, there must be something driving you.”  

Hux stares down at his folded hands.  He’s just about to offer another feeble excuse for his actions when Mitaka leans forward and speaks again with grave solemnity.  “You have feelings for him, don’t you?”  

These words cause Hux’s heart to tie itself into a knot, stretched taut and struggling to be freed.  He sits up suddenly, back straight as a poker and lips parted in shock and horror.  “Of course I do not!” he protests.  “How could you even say such a thing?”

Mitaka isn’t buying it.  He shakes his head, and a sad smile of resignation tugs at his lips.  “It’s ok to admit it, Mit.  Like I said before, I know you.  If you didn’t care for him, he wouldn’t be able to hurt you as he must have done. What  _ did _ he do to you?”  

Hux forces an awkward laugh, beginning to grow impatient with his friend’s perseverance.  Again, he tries to brush it off as unimportant.  “Dopheld, you’re being completely ridiculous!  It’s a simple matter of…” but he trails off before finishing the thought because, truthfully, he  _ can’t _ explain it, and it  _ isn’t _ simple.  Whatever it may be, it most certainly is  _ not  _ simple.  

Mitaka simply stares at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence, one brow slightly arched.  

Hux begins to squirm, feeling defensive and increasingly agitated.  He throws up his hands and stands to his feet, pacing back and forth in front of the sofa.  Any satisfaction he’d been feeling over his victory in the officers’ lounge has evaporated in a puff of smoke.  

“Look, Dopheld, if you had the chance to get back at Ren for all the times he’s hurt or terrorized you in the past, wouldn’t you do it?”

“No.”  Mitaka stands as well and reaches out to put his hand on Hux’s arm, halting his pacing.  “No, I wouldn’t, because it wouldn’t do any good, and in the end, it would only provoke him to hurt me even more.  And you haven’t answered my question.  What did he do that hurt you so badly?”

“Ehh…” Hux lurches his arm out of Mitaka’s grasp, the panic of being backed into a corner and scrutinized overpowering his rational mind.

“No, listen to me, Mit, because I may be the only one on this ship who is willing to speak sense to you.  This game you’re playing will not end well.  If you have feelings for Kylo Ren… Well, the Force have pity on you.”  He gave a little shrug and a self-deprecating smile. 

Hux can’t help but utter a sarcastic laugh at this, and he hopes that will be the end of it.  Unfortunately, Doph has no intention of leaving it at that.

“But if you truly  _ do  _ have feelings for him, you need to stop acting like a child, and tell him.  And if you don’t… then  _ please _ just stop this - whatever  _ this _ is - before he really hurts you.”

Hux gives a loud sigh and levels a threatening gaze at Mitaka.  He can feel his patience being stretched wire-thin.  

“Because he can, Mit, and if you push him hard enough, he  _ will. _ ”  Dopheld’s expression softens as he adds, “And I don’t ever want to receive a holotransmission stating that you’ve been found somewhere battered and wounded… or worse.”

It’s a step too far, and the wire snaps.  “No!” he barks.  “He would  _ never _ do that!”  

Hux is livid, glaring at Mitaka, heart pounding, and as he begins to reel in control over himself, he realizes that every muscle in his body is clenched tight, ready to attack.  Mitaka can sense it too, and his expression slowly turns from shock to realization, and then to satisfaction.  

If you poke a beehive, you may get stung, but in the process you’ll have proven that bees are present.  

Hux looks hard into his friend’s face, lips pursed and brow furrowed.  After a moment, his scowl loosens and he looks aside with a sigh.  “I’m sorry, Doph,” he says.  “I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.  It’s just…” he raises his hands slightly in a gesture of surrender.  “You’re right.  Not about the…  _ feelings _ thing.  But I do need to stop this foolish game.  Just because Ren chooses to act like a child doesn’t mean that I should lower myself to that level as well.” 

“Exactly,” Mitaka agrees, smiling broadly as he nods.  Hux still hasn’t answered his question, but it’s becoming clear that he has no intentions of answering it, so Dopheld lets it drop.  

The lieutenant picks up his glass and takes it over to the sink.  He rinses it out and sets it on the drainer before picking up his jacket and walking toward the door.  “I really should be getting back to my quarters.  Early morning tomorrow, and I’m not used to drinking this late,” he says. 

“Oh.”  Hux feels a sudden, inexplicable jolt of panic at the thought of being left alone again with his thoughts, but there is nothing he can do about it, aside from holding his friend captive.  “Well, thank-you for dining with me,” he says, though it sounds almost more like a question than a statement of gratitude.

“It was my pleasure, as always,” Mitaka says, pressing his hand to the door keypad.  The door slides open, but he pauses in the entryway, turning to look over his shoulder at the general with a sort of melancholy resolution on his face.  “Think about what I said, Mit.  We’re at war.  Every day, our lives are placed in danger.  Life is too short to run from the things we love.”  

Hux says nothing, but offers him a smile and a nod before bidding him good evening.  And then he is alone once more, feeling more confused than ever.

Hux busies himself with cleaning up the leftover food and drink and washing the few dishes they had used.  The chore is done all too quickly, and he decides to follow Mitaka’s example and head to bed early, hoping for a peaceful respite from the day’s madness.  He heads into the refresher to brush his teeth and change out of his uniform.  Hanging his clothes on the back of the door, he slips into a pair of sleep pants and an old, soft t-shirt.  Running a comb through his hair, he nods at his reflection and heads into the bedroom.

An hour later, Hux is still awake, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling.  He’s tired - so very tired of this ridiculous insomniac’s routine.  He’s tossed and turned and placed his pillows in every possible configuration, but there is nothing he can do - nowhere he can hide from the mental images that stubbornly cling to his consciousness.  

Every time he closes his eyes, he’s back in those showers.  He can hear the water running, feel the steam hanging in the air, smell the scents of chlorine and shampoo and sweat.  He can see Ren standing there, his sculpted body silhouetted against the tile wall.  How long had it been since they were in those tunnels, when Hux had let his mind wander to imagine what Ren looked like beneath all those clothes?  Two days?  Three?  He can’t remember.  Now he wishes to the Force he’d never seen it.  

Hux closes his eyes and draws in a long, deep breath.  Ren is there again, taunting him.  His skin shimmers under the falling water, sending streaks of moisture surging down his back.  Finally giving in to his growing certainty that this image is not going to go away, Hux decides to let his imagination linger on it.  Perhaps in surrender, he’ll find some peace.  He lets his mind’s eye travel over Ren’s naked form, tracing the scars that wrap around his back, punctuated by moles and freckles.  He imagines how it would feel to run his fingers through that glistening black hair - to trace the ridges of his spine - to cup the swell of his ass cheeks in the palms of his hands.  

A shudder ripples over Hux’s body and his lips part in a silent gasp as his hand slips beneath the sheets to find himself fully aroused by the image.  Something inside him rages against the idea - stubbornly clinging to the proud notion that he is above such petty impulses.  Of course he has sexual urges, and of course he must find release, just like any other man.  But the idea that  _ Ren  _ could have this power over him, along with his physical strength, and his Force abilities, is too much to bear.  He won’t accept it.  He can’t.  

But the images won’t go away, and his member is throbbing now, beneath his fingers.  He has little choice but to give his body what it so clearly is demanding.  So, he wriggles out of his sleep pants and, resuming his position, begins to slowly stroke himself.  Wispy copper lashes flutter as his eyes fall closed, his head tipping back into the pillow.

“No…” he whispers, as his slender fingers draw tighter around his erection, pumping himself more firmly now.   _ No, this isn’t about Ren… _ he tells himself as he reaches between his legs, trailing his fingers along his inner thighs, grazing his scrotum, then rising to grasp his length once more.   _ Ren has no power over me.  I’m just giving my body what it needs.  That’s all.  _  But now he is remembering the way Ren’s hand had pumped, his hips and backside flexing as he thrust into his hand.  Hux’s back arches off the bed and his lips part once more, a soft whimper slipping past them as the pleasure begins to pool in his core.  “No, Ren…”  

He can’t remember it ever feeling this good to masturbate.  He feels dirty and ashamed, but it doesn’t matter.  His body is alive with a heat and urgency he can’t remember experiencing before, and he is compelled to go on, stroking harder and faster, eyes lolling back as his body twitches and trembles.  “Ren…”  In his mind, he hears Ren groan in pleasure - can hear his voice, rich and sonorous, only this time he doesn’t name the scavenger.  This time, he hears Ren call out, “ **_Hux…_ ** ” 

The sound of his own name, spoken in that voice, is his undoing.  Back arching up off the mattress, he utters a broken cry as he hits his climax, his seed pooling on his belly and soaking into the sheets.  “Oh… Ren…” he whispers, panting as he melts into the mattress.

Almost instantly, he is sound asleep.


	15. Part 12:  Kylo

Ever since dinner, Kylo has been turning the events in the officers’ lounge over again and again in his mind, looking at them from every angle, studying them, considering them.  But no amount of thought or analysis brings him any closer to solving the riddle of what a man like Armitage Hux could possibly see in someone like Mitaka.  Mitaka has his uses, sure.  They consist mainly of looking pitiful and gratifying Ren’s need to bully someone.  

Briefly, he toys with the idea of tracking Mitaka down and murdering him.  That would certainly solve the problem, but it would just as surely create several more.  For one thing, if he kills Hux’s lover, Hux would never speak to him again.   _ Perhaps if I do it secretly...Parnossos beetle?  Slow-acting poisoned dust at his station?   _ He’s never tried using the Force to stop someone’s heart from beating, but it’s worth a shot.  

With an angry grunt, he hoists himself up from the tattered remains of what  _ used  _ to be his bantha hide sofa, and begins to pace the floor.   _ Why does it matter?  Why in kriffing hells do I even care about any of this?  _  He’s just contemplating downing a full bottle of Corellian rum when there is a sudden, sharp rap at the door.  He turns his head to look, confused by the abrupt sound.  Without moving from his spot, he swipes his hand through the air and the door opens to reveal a frightened-looking officer.  

“Enter,” Kylo barks, and the young woman steps inside, trying not to tremble. 

“Supreme Leader, Sir.  We’ve had a transmission from our scout in the Outer Rim.  He’s located and targeted the Millennium Falcon.  We’re tracking it now.” 

Kylo feels an odd sensation in the pit of his stomach, somewhere between elation and dread.  “Has General Hux been notified?” 

“No, Sir.  General Hux is off duty.  Shall I alert him?”

“No!” Kylo snaps instinctively.  He has many reasons for wanting to keep Hux in the dark, and he can hardly believe that this opportunity is being dropped into his lap.  “Do not alert General Hux.  I will brief him personally.  Do you understand?  Do  _ not  _ alert General Hux.” 

“Y-yes, Sir,” the woman says, nodding. 

“I’m going to need the contact frequency of the scout who sent the transmission, as well as the tracking data for the Milennium Falcon.  Have this information delivered to my shuttle at once.”

“Very good, Sir.” 

“Good.  Now, back to your station.” 

The young officer hurries off as quickly as she can, without breaking into a sprint, and Kylo closes the door as a rare smile spreads across his face.  Like a tall, dark bolt of lightning, he races to his bedroom and dons his travel clothing.  Into a black leather bag he stuffs a change of clothes and a few packets of field rations, along with a bottle of water and his datapad.  He doesn’t have a moment to lose.  Pressing the button on his comm link, he gives the order to ready his fighter for departure as he strides out the door to make his way to the hangar.  

Settling into the cockpit of his TIE Silencer, Kylo notes that all the requested information has been loaded into the controls of the ship.  Fuel levels are good, coordinates set, and everything is in place.  With a few final adjustments and a terse alert to the hangar’s main control center, Kylo guides the SIlencer out of the Supremacy’s hangar with grace and agility.  

For the first time since the trip to Ryloth, Kylo Ren feels confident and in control.  As long as he can keep Hux in the dark, he will have free rein to do as he pleases, though he is well aware that his time is limited.  Once Hux discovers that Kylo isn’t on the Supremacy, he’ll track Ren down like a rabid bloodhound, and it is essential that Hux not be allowed to interfere.  

After making the jump to hyperspace, Kylo places the controls on autopilot and slouches back in his seat with a sigh.  The initial adrenaline-laced high he’s been enjoying is now beginning to ebb, and he wonders just how much wisdom there is in this plan.  What if he can’t find the rebels?  What if he doesn’t have the strength to do what he knows needs to be done?  What if Hux learns of his plan and ruins everything?  

Hux… 

The thought of the redhead brings a sudden lurch to his stomach.  How had it all gone so wrong?  A sudden memory comes flooding into his mind, unbidden: Hux, backlit by the glittering expanse of space, his pale skin glowing softly in the starlight as he bares his chest.  A shudder runs down Kylo’s spine at the memory, followed by a wave of remorse; he had been wrong to cast Hux’s trust and loyalty aside, no matter how much of a smug prick the ginger had been to him in the past.  Perhaps even more so  _ because  _ of it.  Hux had taken a risk - made himself vulnerable - to show Kylo that he wasn’t alone.  And in return, Kylo had thought only of himself, casting all thought of Hux aside the moment he’d made the connection with Rey.  

_ Rey _ .  He sighs again.  Rey has caused him so much confusion and pain, from the moment they’d met.  And yet, in her, he’d found what he believed to be a kindred spirit - someone who could truly understand what it felt like to be alone - to have a power so strong that it scared everyone, including themselves.  His heart aches with the thought that he’s messed this up as well.  Maybe Snoke was right after all - he’s nothing but a disappointment.  A failure.  

No!  His hands clench into fists and he sets his jaw.  This time, he will  _ not  _ fail.  The console blinks to life, alerting him that he is nearing his destination and pulling him out of his reverie.  He springs into action, making the necessary adjustments to drop out of hyperspace as he enters the star system.  He double checks the coordinates, confirming the location, and then sends a transmission to the scouting pilot.  

“Supreme Leader, it is an honor to--”

“Where are they?” Kylo interrupts, tired of formalities and sycophantic flattery.  

“Ah, yes Sir.  Ah…”  Kylo realizes he’s checking his tracking system one more time, as if he hasn’t been staring at the screen nonstop for the past three days.  “They are on the planet Dantooine.  They appear to have landed outside the abandoned Rebel base.”  

“Coordinates, Captain.  I need the coordinates,” Kylo barks, quickly losing patience. 

“Oh, yes, Sir.  Sorry, Sir.  Sending them now.”

“Very good,” Kylo replies, seeing his navigational system blinking in response to the incoming data.  He ends the transmission and sets his course according to the information he’s just been sent.  With only a few minutes left before he would be coming face to face with the ones he’d been chasing for so long, Kylo closes his eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath, and focuses on the Force.  He must not fail this time.  

The planet looms ahead, growing ever larger as the Silencer approaches.  It is blue and green and tangled in a cobweb of lacy stratus clouds.  This planet had been Hux’s first choice for building his Starkiller Base.  The Order had planned to repurpose the old rebel base as a center of operations for their superweapon, but Snoke had insisted upon choosing a planet in the Unknown Regions, and all thought of Dantooine had been abandoned.  Looking at it now, Kylo wonders how different things might have been, if the planet’s surface had been lush and green instead of perpetually covered in snow and ice.  It doesn’t matter, of course.  Most likely, events would have unfolded just the way they did in reality, but the irony - that his mother and the other rebels would retreat to this spot - is not lost on him.

Kylo takes the Silencer out of autopilot and guides the ship into the planet’s atmosphere.  He deftly pilots the craft over forests and streams. Far below on the forest’s floor, he spots a pack of kath hounds, racing through the trees wild and free, and he can’t help but wonder what it must feel like to be so uninhibited - to simply exist as one with nature, following the wind and the water, and beginning each day with no fixed plan but to exist and to relish that existence. 

With a sigh, he turns his attention back to the controls.  He is nearing his destination, but decides to set his TIE down a ways off from the base.  Doubtless, he could handle the rebels in head-on combat, but a stealth approach would be preferable.  He especially doesn’t want to hurt Rey or his mother.  So, he skillfully lowers the craft to the ground in a small clearing amidst the forest, about 500 yards from the overgrown rebel base.  

Kylo crawls out of his Silencer to stand on the firm ground and stretches.  Now that he’s arrived, he is beginning to realize just how badly this plan could go.  He can feel the presence of his mother nearby, closely followed by the less familiar presence of Rey, and he inherently knows that they can sense him as well.  The advantage is already cast in their favor, and he wonders just why he’d bothered taking the precaution of landing his ship under the cover of the forest.  His gloved hand travels to the hilt of his lightsaber, clipped securely to his belt.  Still there.  All is well.  Turning, he reaches out a hand to the interior of his TIE, and his travel pack quickly floats into his grasp. 

With a sigh, he walks over to the nearest bilba tree and leans his back against the smooth bark.  Slowly, he slides down to sit in the grass, his body supported by the bulbous trunk of the mighty tree, and opens his pack.  He pulls out a packet of field rations and a bottle of water, and eats.  He is going to need every ounce of strength he can muster for the task ahead.  

As he chews the barely-edible rations, he thinks about Hux again.  He knows he should focus on what he’s about to do, but his mind is unwilling to cooperate.  He wonders whether Hux is awake yet - whether he has discovered Kylo’s absence, or wheedled Kylo’s location out of the officers on duty.  He hopes the general is still asleep, blissfully ignorant to this one final betrayal.   _ It’s nothing personal, Hux, _ he thinks.  _ I  _ have _ to do this. _  Perhaps, one day, he’ll be able to make it up to the man.  Right now, though, he desperately hopes that General Hux will stay far away.  At least until he has finished with his task.  And then… 

His chain of thought is derailed by a fluttering overhead.  A flock of strange looking birds has alighted in the bilba tree above him.  They seem to be eying his field rations covetously.  “Have at it, then,” he calls up to the birds, and tosses the crumbs as far as he can.  With a chorus of screeches and caws, and the loud flapping of wings, the flock rushes in the direction of the food.  Kylo watches them go, and knows that he, too, must be moving on.  Tucking the water bottle back into his bag, he places it inside the Silencer and seals the door. 

The forest is dense with foliage, and Kylo unsheathes his lightsaber to slash through the undergrowth as he trudges forward in the direction of the base.  Other than the pack of hounds he’d spotted from the ship and the birds that had greeted him, he hasn’t run into any of the native wildlife.  For this, he is thankful.  It isn’t that he is afraid; he knows that no beast could pose any real threat to him.  But a Force user fighting off a herd of wild animals would surely attract unwanted attention.  

A rustling of leaves draws Kylo’s attention, and he whirls, lightsaber in hand in a defensive stance.  His mind riffles through a catalog of each species native to Dantooine - Kath hound, iriaz, kinrath, graul…  _ not a kinrath...please, not a viper kinrath,  _ he thinks as his gaze darts to and fro, trying to locate the source of the sound.  What it turns out to be, however, is far more dangerous than a viper kinrath.  

As he squints into the undergrowth, his gaze falls on the form of a young woman.  Rey steps into view, a plaintive expression on her face as she emerges from the foliage and steps into the clearing where Kylo stands.  

“Ben…” she says, and he’s sure there is a tremble in her voice.  

Kylo’s heart twists like a wrung out dish rag, and he is unable to speak for a moment.  He hates the way she makes him feel - vulnerable and helpless.  She makes him feel like… like Ben Solo.  

“Your mother and I knew you were coming.  We’ve been waiting for you.”  She holds his gaze resolutely, as if she is sure of her mission, and confident that no harm will come to her.  

_ She knows my soul better than I know my own, _ Kylo thinks, standing up straight and sheathing his lightsaber.  His adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard, struggling to keep his composure and not to fall prey to the tugging at his heart.  She is only human - a mere mortal.  But then, so is he.  

“It’s not too late, you know,” he finally says, once he can trust his voice not to crack.  He’s pleaded with her before.  He won’t do it again.  “You can still join me.  We can rule the galaxy together, you and I.  We can bring an end to the conflict - the suffering.  We can make it so that there is no more slavery in the galaxy - only freedom.”  

Rey doesn’t miss a beat, and Kylo wonders whether she’s been practicing this dialogue in her head.  “No, Ben.  I will not rule with you.  Not from the Dark side, at least.  Even if I was to join you, an end of slavery - the type of slavery you mean - would only mean the beginning of a new era of slavery - to you, and to the Darkness.  Ben, you have to see that it’s not right.  What good is giving someone freedom, only to immediately enslave them to yourself?”  

“No.  No!” he protests, shaking his head.  “No, listen, Rey.  You’re not thinking big enough.  It wouldn’t have to be that way.”

“No?  Then tell me, Ben.  How  _ would _ it be?  Because from what I see, the First Order is no better than a galaxy full of scattered slave holders.  The First Order is nothing but a gang of very powerful bullies who take pleasure in making others bend to their will.”  

Kylo grunts, shaking his head again.  He’s been taken off guard, not expecting to meet up with Rey until he’d reached the base.  This surprise confrontation has caught him unprepared, and he needs to think.  He just needs a moment to collect his thoughts…   

Rey takes a step closer to him, and he flinches backward, unnerved by her utter calm and confidence.  She holds out a hand to him.  “When we touched hands… before… when I was on Ahch-To… I  _ know  _ what I saw.  Search your feelings, Ben.  You know it, too.  There is  _ good _ in you. There is Light.  It calls to you.  Don’t fight it.” 

Kylo’s mouth opens, then closes, and he blinks, horrified by the way his heart pounds in his chest, coaxing and cajoling him - tempting him to listen to her words - to surrender to the pull.  The Light has been calling to him for so long.  He’s tried so hard to silence it, even going so far as to kill his own father to snuff out its flame.  But it’s all been for naught; the  pull to the Light is as strong as it ever was, if not stronger.  He takes another staggering step backward, but collides with the fat trunk of a massive bilba tree.  He feels like a cornered animal as she continues to come closer.  

“Ben, please,” she is saying.  His gaze flits from her lips to her eyes and back again.  “Please, listen to me.  Your mother is here.  She loves you, Ben.  She forgives you.  She only wants you back.  Please, come with me.  Go to her.  Talk to her.” 

“No.  No, no NO!” he shouts, pinching his eyes closed. He wants to slap his hands over his ears to block out the sound of her voice.  He wants to scream.  He wants to run.  He wants to strike her down with his lightsaber, just to make it stop.  It feels like his chest is being torn open, his ribcage sawed in two and pried open with a surgical clamp,  exposing his pounding heart and his deflating lungs.  The pain is unbearable, and he is helpless to stop it.  

“Shut up!  Shut… up!  Stop!” He is ashamed of the sound of his voice, frail and shrill like a frightened child, and he can hear Snoke’s derisive sneering voice inside his head.  

_ Not strong enough...   _ _ You have too much of your father's heart in you, young Solo…  _ _ nothing but a child in a mask...  _ _  unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber…  _ **_You failed_ ** _! _

There is a ringing inside his head now - a throbbing behind his temples - and the ground is spinning.  He can’t tell which way is up or down, forward or backward.  The sound of Rey’s voice morphs with the voice of Snoke in his head, telling him that he has failed - that he was never intended for the Dark side - that he will never be as strong as Vader.  Rey’s lips are still moving, but he can no longer hear her voice now.  All he can hear is the ringing, the ringing, the ringing… it swells and swells until he is sure his head will burst.   __

“STOP!!”  

He screams the word at the top of his lungs, shattering the deafening ringing in his ears.  His fists clench until his nails tear through his gloves to dig into his palms.  The word echoes through the forest, bouncing off the smooth, fat trunks of the bilba trees.  In the distance, a flock of birds takes wing, their squawks growing fainter as they fly away.  

Rey stands still, eyes wide in surprise or fear, or both.  A thick, heavy silence blankets them both.  Her breath is rapid, and then he hears the pounding of her heart, matching his own.  They stare at one another, both panting, both afraid, both on even ground now.  

Kylo’s mind is spinning like a pinwheel, images flashing on the screen of his mind’s eye at light speed.  

_ His mother, his father, his uncle Luke…  his childhood home, his old room, the beach where they used to vacation as a family… _

His eyes shimmer with moisture as he pushes off from the bilba tree and takes a step forward.  Rey keeps her gaze steadily on him, but her eyes glisten with unshed tears of her own.  She cares for him.  He can feel it.  He can  _ feel  _ it. 

_ His parents are yelling at each other, fighting again, his father’s back retreats as he leaves for ‘just one more’ mission... angry tears streak down his mother’s cheeks… _

A single tear, fat and hot, flows over Kylo’s lashes, splashing on his cheek and leaving a streak in its wake as he pulls off his glove.  She’s so close.  He could have this - could have his mother back.  

_ Betrayal, when he’d learned about his mother’s lies, confusion over the implications of his grandfather’s identity, anger at his parents for not trusting him… _

He could make it right.  He could heal the wound in his heart.  The light is strong, tugging at his heart like a fish on a hook.  He stretches out a hand… so close…

_ Snoke, as he had been when they’d first met - the kind, benevolent father figure he’d missed his whole life, his grandfather’s helmet, his legacy, his lightsaber that he’d crafted by hand with such care - his most prized possession. _

Another hot tear ripples over his skin.  He can’t.  He can’t go back to the light.  He can’t deny who he is.  But Rey is there, begging him to come home, tears streaming down her cheeks.  She’s speaking to him, but he can’t hear her.  Their fingers are a hair’s breadth apart, and then they make contact.  Kylo gasps, his eyes widening.  

_ The Supremacy, the throne, all his hard work, the blood, sweat, and tears he has shed… and then… Hux! _

He can see him clear as day - can hear him as if he’s standing right beside him.  He’s calling to him - saying his name. 

“REN!” 

Kylo lurches backward, staggering out of balance.  Hux is there, at the edge of the treeline, shouting his name.  His red hair flashes in the shafts of sunlight, but his face is deadly pale, and the look in his eyes pierces Kylo’s heart like a thousand lightsabers.  

“Hux?  What are you--”  Kylo’s head turns from the general, back to… 

Rey is gone.  He can just barely make out her retreating form, and before he can think of anything else, he catches sight of Hux in his peripheral, drawing his blaster and leveling it at Rey for the kill.  

“NO!”  Kylo shouts, lunging at him thoughtlessly.  The two men seem to fall through the air in slow motion, hovering inches above the ground before landing with a sickening thud.  There is a sound of a blaster bolt firing, a flash of light coming from the muzzle of the weapon, and a blazing hot pain radiates from Kylo’s shoulder throughout his chest.  

“Hux…” he breathes, just before the world goes dark.


	16. Part 13:  Hux

~ _ three hours earlier~ _

 

Hux had slept soundly for several hours, but upon waking, he finds the ambient lighting still at 5 percent.  He knows he doesn’t need to get up yet, but he also knows that, now that he’s awake, he will not be able to get back to sleep again.  

He sits up in bed and stretches, groaning.  Hux can’t remember the last time he’s slept so soundly for a solid block of hours, and even though it is very early, he feels refreshed and energized. A memory of the previous night presents itself, and he smiles as a flush warms his cheeks.  It doesn’t  have to mean anything.  It was a one-off, nothing more.  

Hux rises from his bed, showers, and dresses for the day.  As he’s running a comb through his hair, he considers Dopheld’s advice from the night before.  He needs to pull himself together and make an effort to make things right with Ren, because Ren certainly isn’t going to take the high road and make the effort, himself.  He’ll make an appointment to see the Supreme Leader and apologize for his behavior.  He’ll explain that Mitaka is a close friend, and that there’s no reason why all three of them shouldn’t have a healthy, positive working relationship.  With his hair gelled and in place, he nods at his reflection in the mirror, ready to take on the day.  

He isn’t due on the bridge for another hour, but Hux knows there are always officers on duty, and he decides he’d might as well get a jump on things.  In his brisk, tight strut, the general makes his way to the bridge, hands clasped behind his back.  He’s feeling so positive that he actually smiles at the few people he passes in the corridor, and they return a somewhat wary, confused smile of their own.  

Marching onto the bridge, Hux salutes the officers on duty who, in turn, rise from their  stations to stand at attention.  “As you were,” he says, giving them a collective nod and smile.  With his back stiff and straight, he strides down the center of the bridge to gaze out over the vast expanse of space before them.  They are so close - closer than they have ever been to seizing control of the galaxy, once and for all.  Once the rebels are slaughtered, there will be no one to stand in their way.  And Ren… 

_ Right.  Ren. _

Hux turns around and walks to the closest communications station.  Gazing down at the young officer at his post, he says, “Send a message to the Supreme Leader.  I desire an audience with him as soon as possible.”  

The officer gazes back at him in confusion.  

“Well, what are you waiting for, Lieutenant?  I told you to send a transmission to--”

The officer shakes his head apologetically.  “Yes, Sir.  I did hear you, General.  It’s just…”  He pauses, clearly struggling with some internal conflict.

“Well?  Spit it out, Lieutenant.  What is the problem?” Hux demands, feeling his mood sinking rapidly.   _ What in stars has that man done, now?  _ _ He couldn’t go  _ one _ bloody day without causing some kind of catastrophe! _

“You see, Sir,” the lieutenant is saying, stumbling over his words.  “The Supreme Leader isn’t on board today.”  

“What?”  Hux enunciates the words with enough force that it might have been shot from a blaster.  “What do you mean, he’s  _ ‘not on board _ ?’” 

“The Supreme Leader took the Silencer to pursue the rebel fighters.  He said he was going to inform you himself. He left about an hour ago.  I’m sorry, Sir.  It wasn’t me.  I wasn’t the one who took the message to him,” the man insists, but Hux has already turned to walk away, seething.  

_ So much for my one good day _ , Hux thinks as he storms off the bridge.  He’ll be damned if he’s going to let Kylo Ren screw things up  _ again _ .  

***

“We’ll be on Dantooine momentarily, General Hux,” the pilot informs him over his shoulder.  

“Very good,” Hux answers shortly.  He’s no longer interested in pleasantries.  

The console blinks to life, and the pilot announces, “We’ve locked onto his coordinates. The TIE Silencer is just through that copse of trees, in the next clearing over.”  

The shuttle touches down with a clattering of machinery and a hiss of hydraulics.  The door gapes open and Hux rises to his feet, hoisting his bag over his shoulder.  This time, he is prepared.  Turning to address the pilot and co-pilot, Hux says, “Return to the fleet.  I will find the Supreme Leader and retrieve him in his own vessel.  Do not come after me unless I call for you.  Once I give the signal that Ren and I are clear of the planet’s surface, I want you to blast that base into oblivion!  Understood?” 

“Yes, Sir,” they both answer in unison.  

Hux nods and walks down the gangplank, taking in his surroundings.  The forest is lush and green, and full of the sounds of wildlife.  Birds chirp and cackle overhead as the breeze rustles the leaves in the bilba trees. He takes a deep breath of the clean air, and looks around for the path that will lead him to Ren’s landing spot.  His gaze has just landed on a narrow opening in the foliage when he hears a scream - that voice -  _ Ren’s voice _ !  In the same instant, he sees a flock of birds in the distance suddenly take flight, as one. 

Without stopping to think, he tears off in the direction of the shout, shoving leaves and branches out of his face as they stubbornly lash his skin.  The forest that had felt warm and inviting moments before now feels close and cloying.  He nearly runs straight into a tree trunk, but manages to dodge it at the last moment, and suddenly, he’s bursting into a clearing.  

Two figures stand before him - one tall and imposing, the other smaller and graceful with long hair swept back from her face.  He immediately recognizes the towering form of Kylo Ren, and though he’s never met her personally, he knows beyond any doubt that this young woman must be the scavenger.  They are walking toward each other, hands outstretched.  Ren looks as though he’s shed tears, and the scavenger is openly weeping, pleading with him.  She’s calling him Ben...  Time seems to slow into infinity and Hux finds himself transfixed by the spectacle before him.  He sees their fingertips barely make contact...  

Suddenly, Ren’s name is bursting out of him like water from a geyser, and then Ren is turning to look at him. He looks exhausted, like someone has just drained the very essence from his soul, and his eyes register recognition as they focus on Hux’s face and their eyes meet.  

“Hux. What are you--” Ren begins, but Hux has his eye on the scavenger.  

The moment Rey saw Hux burst out of the bushes like some kind of demented raccoon, she’d turned tail and started to run.  But this is Hux’s chance!  He can still shoot her while she is running away.  He lifts the blaster, levels the muzzle, stares down the sights, and pulls the trigger, just as a mountain of man lunges at him, pushing him backward and knocking the blaster from his grasp.  It’s too late.  The shot has already fired, and Hux realizes with horror as they hit the ground, that he has just shot Kylo Ren.

The impact of the much larger man falling on top of him knocks the wind from Hux’s lungs, and it takes him a moment to recover his breath.  He has to strain to wriggle out from under the Force user, but once he is free, he hovers over him. Reaching into his jacket, Hux brings the comlink to his mouth.  

“Supremacy, this is General Hux.  Do you read me?  Supremacy, this is General Hux.” 

No response. He tugs the comlink away from his lips to look at it.  Broken.  It must have gotten damaged when Ren landed on top of him.  No matter.  They can use the holotransmitter in the Silencer.  

“Ren?  Ren!  No, come on!  REN!”

Kylo’s eyes flutter open slowly.  “Hux?” he whispers, and then collapses back onto the ground.  

A brief flash of memory zips through Hux’s mind:  

_ He’s standing in the smoldering ruins of Snoke’s throne room.  Ren is lying on the floor, unconscious.  Hux reaches inside his greatcoat, ready to pull his blaster and end the great oaf, but then Ren wakes up, and he replaces his coat as if nothing had happened.   _

Sudden regret washes over him, unbidden, like a tidal wave.  There’s no time to dwell on it now, though.  The scavenger will surely run back to the base and warn the others, and if he knows this band of idiots, they’ll come charging back with guns blazing.  They  _ have _ to get out of here  and find a safe place to stay until Ren can pilot them out of this place, assuming his TIE hasn’t already been destroyed.  He wonders whether Ren might have engaged the stealth field generator upon leaving the Silencer.  It would have been the smart thing to do…  _ which means he probably didn’t do it _ , Hux thinks.  

He looks down at Ren again, still unconscious.  There’s no way he can carry him.  Even though they are close in height, Ren has much more muscle mass than Hux, and probably weighs nearly twice as much.  Hux bites his lip and, taking one more trawling glance around them, slaps Ren as hard as he can across the face.  

Dark eyes spring open, and Ren sits up, wincing at the pain in his shoulder.  “Kriffing-- What did you do?” he yelps, bringing a hand to his shoulder.  When he pulls it away, his fingertips are smeared with soot and blood.  

“What did  _ I  _ do?” Hux balks.  “What were  _ you _ doing?”  He shakes his head.  “There’s no time.  Later.  We have to leave.   _ Now! _  Can you stand?  Can you walk?”  

Kylo blinks, and Hux thinks for a moment that he is going to pass out again.  Instead, he pushes himself up to his feet.  “I can walk,” he says with a pained grunt.  

“Good.  I’ve got a med pack in my bag, but we need to find cover.  Where’s your TIE?”  

Kylo blinks again, and Hux realizes he is in shock.  He sympathizes, but there simply isn’t time.  “Where is it?” he asks again, trying to keep the mounting anxiety out of his voice.  

“I left it over there.”  He points behind Hux into the patch of foliage.  “About a quarter mile in that direction.  Maybe a little farther.  I’m not sure.”  

“Ok.  Ok, that’s good,” Hux says in the most encouraging tone he can muster.  “We need to get there quickly.  If we can get inside, we can engage the stealth field generator.  That will buy us some time till I can dress your wound and then we can get out of this place.”  

Kylo says nothing, but nods.  He takes a step forward, but crumples in pain, leaning forward with a gasp.  

“Lean on me,” Hux commands, lifting Ren’s arm and draping it over his own shoulder.  “You can do this.  We need to get out of here quickly.  The scavenger ran--”  

His sentence is left suspended in the forest air between them, as they both stagger backward.  A deafening crash roars at them from a short distance away.  Looking above the treeline, they can see the flames and smoke - the evidence of an explosion.  They can feel the heat now, radiating outward from the blast, and they both known it’s too late.  Kylo Ren’s TIE Silencer has been destroyed.  

“It’s that kriffing Dameron!” Ren spits, venom dripping from every word.  “I’ll tear him apart with my bare hands!” 

“You will not,” Hux insists, shaking him.  “Not in this condition, you won’t.  We need to get out of here right now.  Live to kill Dameron another day.  I’ll help you.  But right now we--”

“I know, I know,” Ren mutters, gritting his teeth.  “This way.”

They plunge back into the dense undergrowth.  Ren grasps his saber weakly in his good hand, using it only when necessary to get through the weeds and vines that litter their path.  Hux is getting tired, and Ren is getting heavier.  He’s lost some blood, though not enough to do permanent damage, but he seems to still be in shock.  Every now and then, Hux hears a rustling in the leaves behind them and he turns his head, searching for anyone who could be following them.  So far, it’s only been birds or the small creatures that live in the scrub, but he is acutely aware that they could be surrounded at any moment.  

The wind is picking up, and clouds are rolling in.  Ren is barely making any effort to support his weight now, and Hux is nearly spent.  They have to find shelter soon, or they will be caught in a storm.   _ At least it hasn’t started raining yet,  _ he thinks, just in time to feel a fat raindrop splatter on his cheek.  It seems impossible that he’d felt cheerful upon waking that morning.  How had everything gone so terribly wrong?  He seems to be asking himself that question a lot lately.  

Hux trudges forward, one foot in front of the other as the rain begins to fall in earnest, running down his face and soaking his clothes.  He turns his face skyward and clenches his free hand into a fist.  He wants to scream to the stars - to the Force - to the old gods or anyone who could hear him.  He wants to fall to his knees in surrender, but it’s not in his nature.  He won’t let himself do those things.  He can’t.  

Reaching out in front of himself, he brushes aside a shroud of vines, and what he sees on the other side takes his breath away.  There in the clearing ahead, lies a small stone hut with a bilba wood roof.  It appears to be empty - deserted, most likely, probably years ago, at the same time the rebel base was abandoned.  Vines crawl up the stone walls and curl around the chimney, and birds have nested under the gables.  The windows are open spaces with green shutters on either side.  The door hangs open as well, supported by one hinge like a loose tooth.  Beyond the entrance, there is only darkness.  It’s perfect.  With a rush of new-found energy, Hux hoists his semi-conscious companion higher onto his shoulder and, together, they shamble up to the cottage door.

The interior of the hut is small.  It would have been cozy, if it weren’t for the cobwebs hanging from the ceilings and furniture, and the interloping vines that have crawled in through the windows.  Some type of moss has squeezed through a few of the floorboards and now covers a portion of the living room floor - a sort of natural carpeting.  

Hux fumbles, searching for a light switch.  He finds one, but flipping it produces no effect.  Either the lights are all burnt out (likely) or whatever power source this place used to run on has been depleted (equally likely).  

“Come on, you great oaf.  Use your legs,” Hux reprimands, giving Ren a firm nudge with his hip as they hobble inside and Hux pulls the door closed behind them.  Gradually, his eyes adjust to the dimness.  Just enough light filters in through the open windows to allow him to see the floor beneath him as they shamble further into the little abode.  Hux’s muscles are screaming, and he is tempted to drop Ren in a heap on the floor right where he stands.  It’s about the treatment he deserves, but Hux will be the one tending to his wound, and he doesn’t relish the idea of huddling on the damp floor, so he presses on.  

A doorway off to the right leads into what appears to be a small bedroom, and once he’s inside, the welcome sight of a bed confirms his suspicion.  He half-drags Ren across the room and finally drops him onto the mattress, his large frame melting over the surface.  

Hux stretches, groaning at the pain in his shoulder and back.  They both need rest, but first, he needs to cleanse Ren’s wound.  

“I’ll be right back,” Hux says, though he’s relatively sure Ren has passed out again.  He wanders out to the doorway where he’d dropped his bag.  Picking it up, he hoists it over his shoulder and takes another look around.  Now that his eyes have adjusted to the lack of light, he can see more of the cottage interior.  There is a fireplace in one corner of the living room, flanked by a loveseat and two armchairs, all a little worse for wear, but usable.  They wouldn’t dare light a fire in the grate, though, for fear of alerting the Resistance to their location.  Fortunately, it’s warm here and he doubts they will need a fire at any rate.  

A tiny kitchen sits off to the right, beyond the bedroom where Ren lies unconscious.  A refrigerator stands in the corner, but there’s no reason to open it.  Anything inside would have spoiled ages ago.  The thought of the smell, alone, is enough deterrent to keep Hux from getting too curious.  A stone sink rests cradled into the counter beside it, along with a cooktop and a row of cabinets.   Between the kitchen and bedroom is another door that leads into a tiny refresher.  

_ All the comforts of home _ , he thinks sardonically.  

With his bag in tow, Hux reenters the bedroom to find Ren just where he'd left him lying on the bed, snoring softly.  If he weren’t so angry with the man, Hux might have found it endearing.  He perches on the edge of the mattress and unzips the bag, pulling out the medpack and placing it on his lap.  He turns to look at Ren, and flinches when he sees the Force user staring back up at him.  

“You’re awake,” he says, hoping it hadn’t been obvious that he’d been startled.  

Ren simply stares at him, dark eyes heavy-lidded, but alert.  

“I need to clean your wound,” Hux continues, though he is unnerved by Ren’s silence and stillness.  It doesn’t seem natural for him to be so…  _ stationary _ . 

Ren nods, and turns his head to look out the window at the falling rain.  Water drops heavily from the drooping bilba leaves, collecting in puddles on the ground that mirror the overcast sky.  Thunder rolls in the distance - a low, quiet rumbling sound - and the rain falls harder, like a drumroll building for a grand finale.  

Hux removes a few items from his medpack and lays them out on the bed beside him.  “I’ll need to cut the fabric away so I can inspect the damage and dress the wound,” he explains, picking up a pair of scissors and holding them up to the light from the window.  Ren’s eyes follow his hand, but still he does not speak.  

_ Is he giving me the silent treatment? _ Hux wonders, frowning slightly as he begins to slice open the fabric to reveal Ren’s bare shoulder beneath. The skin is blackened from he close range blast, and crusted with dried blood, but he can’t see any major damage to the muscle tissue below.   _ It’s just a graze.  But then, why is he so weak?  _   _He hasn't lost that much blood..._ He rips the strip of fabric free from Ren's shirt and tosses it aside.

“I’m not.” Ren is looking at him again, those dark eyes boring straight through him.  

“I beg your pardon?” Hux says, confused.

Ren sighs impatiently, as though he’s being asked to explain the simplest thing to a toddler.  “I’m not giving you the silent treatment... and I’m not weak.” 

_ Kriff.  I forgot… _ He forcibly stops himself from thinking further, knowing that Ren seems to be able to hear his thoughts with very little effort.

Ren shrugs, but winces at the pain of the action.  “Your thoughts are exceptionally loud,” he murmurs, turning to direct his gaze back out the window.  

“You could have gotten yourself killed,” Hux says, pulling a damp sterile cloth from the pile of items beside him.  “You could have gotten us _both_ killed.  You  _ have _ gotten your custom-made, First Order-funded, top of the line ship blown up.”  As he speaks, Hux begins dabbing at Ren’s wounded shoulder, carefully wiping away the blood and grime.  

“You do realize that there was a  _ reason _ I didn’t want you to know where I was going, don’t you?  You weren’t _supposed_ to come chasing after me, Hux.   _That’s_ on you  I put no one in danger but myself, and why should you care about that?” 

Hux ignores that last question and, instead, focuses on the first.  

“Yes, I know there was a ‘ _reason_ ’ you wanted me _left behind_ ,” Hux says bitterly.  “I saw what you were--”

“You have no idea what you saw!” Ren snaps.  It’s the first time he’s raised his voice since Hux arrived, and it startles him a little.  Ren seems to understand this reaction, and when he speaks again, his voice is lower and calmer.  “Trust me, Hux, you don’t understand.  How could you?” 

Anger wells in Hux’s belly at the casual dismissal.  “So help me understand!  Explain it to me, if I’m so ignorant.”  

Ren shakes his head and sighs.  “It's not that simple.  I can’t explain it.  Not right now.  I’m tired.”  

Hux feels his hand clench into a fist as he grips the wet cloth.  Finding the wound cleaned, he tosses the soiled rag on the floor along with the strip of fabric.  

“You just told me you weren’t weak.  Make up your mind, Ren,” Hux grumbles, picking up the vial of antiseptic and a roll of gauze.  

“I said I wasn’t  _ weak _ .  There’s a difference.  It’s not my physical body that’s weak.  It’s deeper than that.  It’s the Force in me… the battle…” 

Hux sighs.   _ The Force.  Of course, it always comes back to the kriffing Force,  _ he thinks.  “Well whatever reason, body, soul, or spirit, I’ve just as good as carried you through this blasted forest for the past two hours, so I feel fairly confident when I say that you’re weak.”  

“Whatever you say, General,” Kylo murmurs, rolling his eyes.  “ _Obviously_ , you are the absolute expert on-- OUCH!”  

Kylo nearly jumps out of his skin as a searing pain shoots through his shoulder like lightning.  “Kriffing… What the varp did you just do?” 

Hux sits still, a smug grin on his face as he holds the antiseptic-drenched gauze on Ren’s open wound.  “I told you.  I have to cleanse this wound,” he says with a voice like silk. 

“You could have warned me,” Ren protests, glaring up at him. 

“Yes.  I could have,” Hux replies with a little bounce of his shoulders.  He pulls back the gauze and tosses it aside, then squeezes a dollop of bacta ointment onto a clean strip of gauze and presses it to Ren’s shoulder.  “There.  Better?” 

“Yes,” Ren says, grudgingly, though he’s still casting a dirty look in Hux’s direction, sulking.

Hux holds the gauze in place with one hand as he picks up the surgical tape with the other.  What he wouldn't give for some synth skin right now, but he'd only grabbed the basic medpack, so gauze would have to do.  

"Hold this a minute," Hux says, putting a little pressure on the gauze.  When Ren obeys, he begins tearing off a few strips of the surgical tape and fastening the gauze in place until it is firmly affixed. "There.  Good as new," Hux says, pleased with his medical handiwork.  

Ren rolls onto his side, away from Hux, and Hux is struck with the temptation to slip his fingers into that glossy black hair.  Further, he’s tempted to rip it out by the roots, in retribution for all the grief the man has caused him today.  And yesterday.  And the day before that...  

“You need to eat something,” he says, placing the medpack back into his bag and pulling out a couple of field rations.  Ren utters something unintelligible, and Hux tosses the packet of rations onto the bed beside his head.  

Ren doesn’t move, and Hux stands up with a stretch.  “Well, if you’re going to spend the rest of the day sulking, then I’ll just go and--” 

“I failed.”

Hux turns, unsure whether he’s heard correctly.  “What?”

“I always fail.  It's in my DNA.  I’m too dark for the Light side, too light for the Dark side, I have too much Vader for my family, too much Han Solo for Snoke.  I’ve failed you, too, Hux.  It’s just... what I do.”  

Hux stands frozen, utterly shocked by what he’s heard.  He reaches out to support himself against the door frame and turns his body to face the bed.  Ren still lies still with his back to the door, unmoving - a mountain of power and strength, now brought low by his own doubts and regrets.  He’s never seen Ren like this before, and he realizes that the man before him is far more naked now, in this moment, than he had been when Hux had seen him in the showers.  

Pushing off the door frame, he walks back toward the bed.  “You’re not a failure, Ren,” he says softly, and for the first time he can remember, the moniker feels too stiff - too formal.  “You are the Supreme Leader of the First Order - the grandson of Darth Vader.  You are certainly not a failure… Kylo.”  The use of Ren’s first name brings a nervous flush to Hux’s cheeks.  Where 'Ren' seemed too formal, 'Kylo' seems far too familiar.  He is relieved when Ren doesn’t roll over to face him.  He steps up to the edge of the bed and is surprised to note that Ren is trembling.  He wonders whether he might be cold, or if the shock is creeping back in, and considers looking for a blanket, until he realizes that Ren isn’t shivering - he is weeping.  

A mixture of pity, compassion, and a sliver of revulsion sweep over the general.  Everything about this scenario feels wrong.  He shouldn't be here to witness this.  It feels... indecent.  Hux is so far out of his element that he considers walking out of the room and pretending he hadn’t seen.   _ Just like in the showers, _ he thinks.  He could do it.  Ren would probably expect as much from him.  But he can’t bring himself to leave.  He reaches out tentatively to place a hand on Kylo’s arm - feels him twitch at the contact, but then he is still again.  He sighs and begins to pull his hand away, but to his surprise, Kylo's hand moves fast as lightning.  His strong fingers loop around Hux's wrist, holding him firmly in place.  Without turning his head, Ren speaks. 

"Don't go," he whispers, barely audibly. "Don't leave me alone."

The words tear at Hux's heart, and whatever anger he'd been clinging to up until that moment slip from his grasp.   Slowly, tentatively, he lies down on the mattress behind Kylo and drapes his arm over his waist.  He feels Ren’s muscles tense, then relax, and then he leans back into Hux’s body.  The feeling of this closeness is utterly alien to Hux, yet it flows over him like warm waves on a tranquil shore, and he gives himself over to the moment.  His palm flattens against Kylo’s stomach and he nestles his face into the back of Kylo’s neck.   He smells of salty sweat, leather, and a sweet, earthy musk all his own.  His chest rises and falls more slowly now, his sobbing quieted, and Hux realizes, to his surprise, that Kylo has fallen asleep in his arms.  He sighs as a smile tugs at his lips and he closes his eyes, letting the rhythm of the rain outside the window lull him to sleep as well. 


	17. Part 14:  Kylo

Kylo wakes with a groan as a dull throbbing travels from his shoulder to his temples.  He blinks against the sunlight that filters through the open window above him, and for a moment, he is completely disoriented.  He stretches, wincing slightly as he does so.  The pain seems to unearth a thread of memories from the dark recesses of his mind.   They resurface slowly at first, but then with rising velocity.  

Dantooine.  He’d come here alone, to confront his mother and Rey, with a fool’s hope of spiriting them away, and then destroying the rest of the rebels.  His plan had been derailed, however, by Rey’s sudden appearance in the woods.  The ensuing battle between Light and Dark that had taken place inside him had nearly cleaved his soul in two.  He’d been so close -  _ dangerously  _ close - to surrendering to the Light... to Rey... to his mother... to everything he’d been trying so hard to fight for 6 long years.  Or had it been 7?  It feels like a lifetime ago and, in a way, it has been.

But just when he’d thought he couldn’t resist the pull to the Light, Hux had appeared out of nowhere.  He’d ruined everything… or had he been Kylo's salvation?  The mere presence of the general had tugged him back from the precipice and tethered him to the path he’d chosen for himself.  But then the fool had gone and tried to take a shot at Rey.   _ As if he didn’t know I couldn’t let that happen!  Idiot.  _

Kylo shakes his head, lifting one large hand to rub at his eyes with thumb and forefinger.  The memories thereafter grow fuzzier, all blurring together.  He can barely remember finding this cottage, let alone much of anything that happened afterward.  He has a vague recollection of Hux cleaning the wound, and then… He feels a surge of panic at the realization that Hux is no longer lying behind him.  He _had_ been lying there, hadn't he?  Perhaps he’s imagined the whole thing.  Part of him hopes that he has.  How can he face Hux after blubbering like a baby, wanting to be held?  Still, Hux must be somewhere nearby.  

Kylo forces himself to sit up, sucking in a breath as pain shoots through his shoulder, radiating through his chest in protest of his movement.  Gingerly, he peels the gauze away from his wound and twists his neck to look down at it.  The skin is mottled, blue and brown with bruising, and there is an abrasion where the blast grazed him.  The wound itself, however, has already largely healed, thanks to the bacta ointment Hux must have applied to it.  He supposes he ought to be thankful, but then again, if it weren’t for Hux, he wouldn’t have been shot in the first place. 

_No,_ he thinks, _I’d be taken prisoner by the Resistance, instead._ _How else did I think this would end?_

With a sigh, he swivels on the mattress, stretching his long legs over the edge of the bed. He notes the bright sunshine outside and wonders just how long he’d been sleeping.  It seems too bright to be evening, but it had still been light when they’d found this cottage… hadn’t it?  He isn’t too sure of anything anymore.  Could he actually have slept all afternoon, evening, and through the night, all without waking once?  The thought of it causes a sharp pain to register in his bladder.  

The wooden floor is cool beneath his feet as he stands up and steps to the door.  Pushing it open, he finds Hux sitting on a moldy old sofa, hunched over something on the coffee table in front of him.   _ Maybe Hux slept out there?  _   It seems more likely than the alternative of Hux curling up behind him and cuddling him, and he is slightly relieved by this alternate possibility.  He’s just about to turn and duck into the refresher when Hux, without looking up from his work, speaks.  

“Well, well... I see you’ve finally deemed it acceptable to grace us with your presence,  _ Supreme Leader, _ ” he says.  

_ Always that tone of sarcasm _ .  

“You  _ do _ realize we’re the only ones here, right?  Or is that the Imperial ‘we,’” he asks, hurling the sarcasm right back at Hux.  As an afterthought, he adds, “Oh, I’m feeling much better, by the way.  Thanks for asking.”  

Hux ignores him, his attention fixed on the table before him, and Kylo lets out a huff before walking into the refresher.  He glances into the mirror as he relieves himself, and he notes the dark circles under his eyes.  He looks like he hasn’t slept in days, and he wonders how much of it is due to the battle waged over his soul, and how much to the blaster wound.  

He turns the spigot and is rewarded with a disturbing gurgling sound, followed by a gush of mud that splatters over the smooth surface of the sink.   _ Wonderful. _  Right on cue, he hears the muffled voice of Hux calling through the door.  

“There’s a bucket of water outside.  Rainwater.”  

Kylo sighs and walks out of the refresher.  He hates feeling reliant on anyone, and considers just foregoing the washing of his hands, simply as a gesture of stubborn defiance.  He can’t quite get past the feeling of filth that clings to him, though, so he decides to swallow his pride and just go and do it.  

The air outside is fresh and clean and cool.  Birds are calling to one another in the bilba trees, and small furry animals scale the trunks, leaping from branch to branch, collecting food and nesting materials.  Sunlight filters through the leaves, warming Kylo’s skin and reminding him that there is a hole cut out of his shirt.  He lifts the bucket and pours some of the crystal clear water over his hands, rubs them together, and then pours a little more over them before walking back into the cottage.  

Hux is still hovering over something on the coffee table, and Kylo feels irritation bubbling up inside him at this seemingly intentional lack of acknowledgement of his presence.  “What are you even doing?” he asks, not bothering to cover the annoyance in his voice.  

Hux looks up at him with equal annoyance, revealing the item on the table.  It's a comlink, in pieces, and Hux gestures to it with one hand.  “Nothing important,” he replies flippantly.  “Only trying to repair our single hope of contacting the Supremacy to get us off this Force-forsaken planet.”  

Kylo nods silently.  “I don’t suppose you managed to bring my bag along,” he asks, glancing around.  “This shirt is a little… well… worse for wear.”  

Hux lifts his head again with a loud, dramatic sigh.  “As a matter of fact, I did, believe it or not.  Despite what you may think, I am not a  _ complete _ imbecile, Ren,” he quips, jerking his head in the direction of the bedroom.  “It’s on the floor next to my own .”  

Kylo says nothing, but turns and walks back into the bedroom.  Spotting the item in question on the floor, he flops down on the edge of the bed and rifles through his bag in search of a change of clothes.  Then, having found what he needs, he spreads the fresh outfit on the bed beside him and begins to strip out of his soiled clothing, careful not to disturb his wounded shoulder.  

The memory of Hux walking in on him in the showers flashes through his mind, and his heart skips a beat.  Is Hux always such a voyeur?  He wonders if Mitaka knows about this side of him.  Perhaps they film themselves fucking and watch the recordings later to jerk off to.  A shudder of revulsion makes his body quake at the mere thought.  He considers walking out into the living room stark naked, just to see what Hux would do.  The general had certainly enjoyed the show Kylo had given him in the showers.  Maybe he could lure Hux’s mind away from Mitaka for a few brief moments… He shoves this idea aside immediately as complete insanity.  Even if it weren’t an innately ridiculous idea in itself, Hux is obviously hyper-focused on his current task.  Chances are high that he wouldn’t even look up and see Kylo, much less allow himself to be seduced by him.  Kylo gives himself a thorough mental self-flagellation and finishes getting dressed.

Freshly changed and fully clothed, Kylo steps into the living room and flops down in the chair next to where Hux is perched, still deep in concentration.  He takes a moment to let his eyes trace the lines of Hux’s face - the sharp brow fringed with spun copper, the graceful, high cheekbones, the gently sloping nose, and the soft curve of his lips, all wrapped in milky smooth, pale skin, smattered sparsely with light freckles.  His fiery hair is tousled, flopping over his forehead and partially obscuring his furrowed brow.  

“Enjoying the view, Lord Ren?” Hux mutters without looking up.  

“I just wondered whether you were making any progress,” Kylo offers, blowing off the subtle accusation _. _

Finally, Hux sits up straight and leans back on the couch, sighing as he turns his head to look at Kylo, one slender hand rising to rake the hair away from his face.  “Yes, I think so,” he says.  “It’s slow going, but I think I’ve found a way to work around the short in the wiring.  I just need a little more time.”  

Kylo nods thoughtfully.  He’s feeling restless and exposed.  His mother and Rey know he’s still on the planet.  They must sense his presence, and that is a danger.  He doesn’t believe they would harm him, but there are no guarantees where Hux is concerned.  The fact that this worries him is troubling, and he wonders whether this might have been another reason he had wanted to keep Hux far away from all this.  

“Is there anything I can do to help?” he asks, leaning forward on his haunches. 

“Yes, actually,” Hux replies casually.  “You can stop talking to me and let me concentrate.”  

Kylo glares at him for a moment before getting up and exiting the room without another word.  He stalks into the bedroom and grabs a packet of field rations and a bottle of water, then stalks past Hux to go outside.  

Now that he’d been up and moving around for a while, Kylo finds that his shoulder is beginning to loosen up.  He wanders a few yards from the cottage and stands at the edge of the forest, peering between the trees.  Somewhere out there, his mother is willing him to come to her.  He can feel it - the tugging at his heart and soul.  Rey is doing the same, and their combined pleading is beginning to wear on his tattered soul.  He needs to get off this planet quickly, or he’s not sure what will happen.  It’s only a matter of time before they find him… if they are even looking. 

Resting his back against a bulbous tree trunk, Kylo slouches down to the ground, cradling his rations in the crook of one arm.  He tears the packet open and gives it a sniff.  The stuff smells awful, though not nearly as bad at the stuff he’d had Hux consume on Ryloth. 

_ Ryloth…  _

The memory of Hux being wounded fills his mind, and the irony of his current predicament is not lost on him.  As he swallows down the food, Kylo thinks about the way it felt to curl up beside Hux - the way their bodies had slotted together.  That night, Hux had seemed so small - so frail.  Then yesterday, he’d had the faintest taste of that closeness again - or at least he thought he had.  But now Hux seems to have bounced right back to his old self - smug and self-righteous and infuriatingly… 

_ Beautiful. _

He sighs, aggravated with this ludicrous sentimentality.  He wonders briefly whether repeatedly ramming his head into a bilba tree might help dislodge these stubborn thoughts of Hux from his mind.  After that night on Ryloth, Kylo had foolishly allowed himself to believe that he and Hux had shared something meaningful.  He’d even gone so far as to - albeit unconsciously - open up and  _ feel _ something for the man.  But then they’d returned to the Supremacy, and the whole Mitaka debacle had happened.  And where had  _ that _ come from?  

Having witnessed the scene in the officers’ lounge, Kylo had no doubt that Hux and Mitaka were a couple.  The only real question is how he could have missed it before that point!  Surely he hadn’t been  _ that _ self-involved, to have overlooked a love affair between General Hux and that groveling muegrube of a man.  He swallows the last of the rations and washes them down with a long swig of water.  There are too many questions and not enough answers, and the interminable uncertainty is making his head throb.  With a languid stretch, he stands up, marches back into the cottage, and flops down in the chair he’d occupied earlier, staring at Hux and willing him to look up at him.  

Hux pauses his work on the comlink, sighs, then places the pieces down on the table and looks up at Kylo.  There is a desperate sadness in those pale green eyes that surprises him.  Hux looks tired - wrung out - like he’s aged ten years in the time since Kylo walked out the door.  

“Any progress?” Kylo asks, instantly ashamed of the inane question.  

“Ren, it’s been ten minutes,” Hux returns, though the bite has left his voice, replaced by a genuine weariness.  He shakes his head and presses the heels of his palms into his eye sockets, rubbing away the bleariness, and for a moment, Kylo sees a glimpse of that small, fragile man from back on Ryloth.  

“Right,” he says.  “Well, I guess I’ll just leave you to it, then.”  He stands up and slowly moves toward the bedroom.  

“Why did you come here?” Hux's voice is soft and imploring.

Kylo freezes in the doorway at the question.  His eyes close and he takes a deep breath before turning around to face Hux.  The ginger is once again focused on his comlink, but he glances up at Kylo, as if to confirm that he has, indeed, spoken.  

“I saw an opportunity, and I took it,” Kylo replies with a little bob of his shoulders.  

“You seem to be doing that a lot lately,” Hux retorts with a quick, disapproving shake of his head. He glances up at Ren again and gives a subtle jerk of his head, gesturing toward the chair.  

Kylo grudgingly returns to the chair and sits, keeping his gaze on Hux as though the ginger might evaporate into thin air if he looks away.  Hux, meanwhile, continues to tinker with the comlink.  Ren watches his slim fingers work, noting how delicate his hands look, and he suddenly wonders how it would feel to have those hands on his body.  He looks away abruptly, embarrassed by the thought, though Hux doesn’t seem to notice.  

“I thought I could take out the remaining Resistance members, while still protecting my mother and Rey,” he finally says, letting his gaze slowly meander back to Hux, who gives a soft grunt at this explanation.  

“And that’s why you didn’t want me...  _ interfering _ ,” he says.  It is a statement, not a question, and Kylo doesn’t bother to argue, because he knows it’s true.  

“I thought I’d be strong enough, but they knew I was coming.  Rey came out to the woods to meet me and I wasn’t ready.”  

Hux considers this for a moment before speaking again, his gaze on the comlink never wavering.  “And when I arrived…”  He lets the sentence trail off expectantly. 

Kylo knows what he’s asking.  He wants to know what he’d walked in on - what Kylo and Rey had been about to do when he’d burst out of the bushes.  Ren cringes at the memory of the internal battle waged inside him.  How can he possibly explain it to Hux when he doesn’t fully understand it himself?  He feels weak and foolish, and thus, ashamed.  

“She wanted me to go with her, to see my mother,” he finally says.  

“And you were tempted to go with her,” Hux says.

Kylo pauses.  He wants to deny it - to say that he was in control the entire time, but he knows that Hux has seen enough to know that this would be a lie.  

“Yes.”

Hux nods, pursing his lips as if this admission has resolved some internal debate in which he’d been engaged.  

“Why did you come after me?”  Kylo asks, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs.  He watches as Hux’s jaw clenches - sees his adam’s apple bob as he swallows.  He can feel the discomfort swelling between them, but he remains silent, resolutely waiting for the ginger’s response.  

Hux remains silent a moment longer, but then he sighs.  “I don’t know, Ren,” he finally says.  “Maybe it would have been better if I’d just stayed behind.”

The utter dejection in the general’s voice pierces Kylo’s heart, and he has the sudden urge to scoop the man up in his arms and carry him to bed, though whether he wants to cuddle him or fuck him, he’s not quite sure.  The thought is disconcerting, but he’s tired of fighting his own thoughts and urges.  Besides, none of it matters, since Hux has obviously chosen Mitaka.  

“Don’t say that,” Kylo says softly. “I’m glad you came,” he continues, dropping his gaze, now.  “Thank-you for coming after me.”  For the first time in their conversation, Hux lifts his head to look at him.  His expression is unreadable, and Kylo finds himself sorely tempted to reach into his mind and pluck the thoughts from it.  He resists this temptation, however.  Whatever Hux is pondering, he seems to be taking care to keep it hidden.  Perhaps he isn’t thinking about Kylo at all.   

Hux gives a slight nod and says, “You’re welcome.”  His lips twitch into a shadow of a smile, and he turns his attention back to the comlink.  

They sit there together in silence for several minutes, Hux diligently working to repair the comlink and Kylo quietly watching him.  Eventually, he gets tired of watching Hux work, and quietly exits the room to leave his companion in peace.  

He wanders into the bedroom and flops down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.  He considers meditating, but he’s hesitant to tap into the Force in any way, lest it alert his mother to his location.  He gazes out the window at the pale blue sky.  Huge, puffy clouds float lazily by as the breeze rustles the leaves in the trees.  It is peaceful here - not an unpleasant place to be, despite the restlessness clawing at his insides.  

His mind drifts back to Hux in the next room, diligently working to get them back to their ship.  He’d said he was nearing a solution, but Kylo isn’t sure how much faith to put in such a statement.  Hux very likely wouldn’t admit if he was completely dumbfounded; it could take days for him to repair the device.  The thought of being trapped here in this cottage with Hux has his stomach flip flopping.  How long could he stand to be in such close quarters with the other man before… what?  What would happen?  

He sighs, dragging his fingers through his inky black hair.  He’s becoming impatient with the way his thoughts seem to always circle back to Hux lately.  And after all, he  _ is  _ the Supreme Leader.  Why shouldn't he just take what he wants, Mitaka be damned?  But it’s not that simple.  Matters of the heart do not come easily to Ren - not for a lack of feeling, but because he feels  _ too much. _   But w hat if he didn’t try to hold things inside for so long?  What if he were to sit down and have a frank conversation with Hux about Rey?  On his journey to Dantooine, he’d thought about apologizing to Hux - making things right.  Maybe now is the time to do that.  After all, it’s not like there is anything else going on here to distract them.  

With a newly found resolve, Kylo pushes himself up off the bed.  How hard can it be to have a simple conversation?  Inhaling a deep, calming breath, he takes long strides to the door and stretches out his hand for the knob, but before his fingers can connect, the door suddenly swings open.

“Ren! I did it!  I fixed the com--   link…” 

Hux has barged through the door without looking, and the two men are thrust together, Hux’s hands rising to prevent a collision.  Kylo feels Hux's palms rest against his chest as they stare at one another.  He’s never been this close to Hux before, even when they had lain together to sleep.  His eyes don’t know where to rest, darting between the ginger’s crystalline eyes and his soft, pink lips.  He can count the pale freckles that powder his face - can feel the warmth of his breath. Hux appears just as alarmed as Kylo feels, apparently shocked by their sudden close proximity.   

“I...fixed it,”  Hux repeats quietly, his voice practically a whisper.  “They’ll be here any moment.” 

There is a split second - the space of a single heartbeat - when Kylo thinks that Hux might lean forward and kiss him.  He wants him to.  He’s desperate for it.  But just as he’s about to place his hands on Hux’s shoulders, Hux is staggering backward, flustered and apologetic.  Kylo doesn’t hear the words he’s saying - doesn’t  _ care  _ what he’s saying.  He wants to grab him and pull him against himself - to kiss him until he can’t breathe - to drink him in - taste his mouth...his skin...his body…

But the moment is over, and now Hux is turning away, rushing over to where their bags lay haphazardly on the floor.  He’s throwing their things inside and preparing for the shuttle’s arrival, and all Kylo can do is stand there and watch as he hears the shuttle’s thrusters firing outside the window.  


	18. Part 15:  Hux

The journey back to the Supremacy had been torture.  

Ren had remained maddeningly silent, keeping his distance from Hux as though he carried some form of exotic, life-threatening disease.  He hadn’t spoken for the entirety of the flight, leaving Hux uncomfortably alone with his mental wanderings: the feeling of Ren’s chest rising and falling beneath his palms - the warmth that had radiated from him… Had his heart really been beating faster, or had that all been in Hux’s mind, trying to project the pounding of his own pulse onto the other man?  

They bid an awkward farewell to one another then, with Ren grudgingly agreeing to stop at the medical wing, though Hux held no illusion that Ren would actually follow through with his promise.  That wasn’t his problem.  Nothing to do with Ren was his problem, and imagining that Kylo Ren even gave him a second thought was complete folly.

Now, back in his private rooms, Hux sits, staring at nothing in particular.  He considers sending an invitation to Mitaka to join him for drinks, but he knows that Mitaka will only ask him questions he doesn’t want to have to answer.  His friend had already planted the pernicious seed of doubt in Hux’s mind, causing him to question his own motives and feelings.  He didn’t need  _ more _ of that.

The memory of those last moments on Dantooine is excruciating.  They’d been so close, and he  had turned away.  He may blame Ren all he likes, but in that moment, he had been the one to turn away.  Closing his eyes, he returns to the cottage in the woods.  He can feel the beating of Ren’s heart beneath his fingertips… the warmth of his breath.  He sees Ren’s eyes, refracted in a myriad shades of brown, gold, and amber.  It would have been so easy - so simple to lean forward and press their lips together… 

But how could he have, when he’d known that Ren was pining for the scavenger girl?  After all, it had been  _ her _ name Ren had called in the showers.   _ She _ was the one that Ren had chased to Dantooine, choosing to leave Hux behind.  It was her, not Hux, that tempted him.  

He drags his fingers through his hair with a sigh of resignation.  There’s no use denying it any longer - he wants Ren, and badly.  Not like he might want a drink or a cigarette, but more like the way he wants to continue breathing.  The way he wants his heart to continue beating.

_ A cigarette… Perhaps that will calm my nerves, _ he thinks, standing up and moving to his desk where he keeps his smoking necessities.  The dinner hour has come and gone, but Hux has no appetite; food is the last thing on his mind.  He feels restless - fidgety - unsettled in every possible way.  

With his lit cigarette in hand, Hux grabs his datapad and meanders back to the sofa, flopping down with all the grace of a happabore.  He brings the cigarette to his lips and inhales, relishing the sensation of the smoke filling his lungs before pursing his lips to blow a thin stream of blue vapor to the side.  His fingers nimbly flick across the screen of the datapad, searching for the security footage from that day in the throne room; perhaps if he can see the betrayal play out before his eyes just one more time, it will help to banish these foolish fantasies that have been somehow permitted to metastasize to every part of his mind and body.  

Having found the video feed, he taps the ‘play’ icon and brings the cigarette to his lips for another drag.  The images spring to life on his screen, and there is Ren, moving with grace and agility as, one by one, the Praetorian guards fall prey to his fighting prowess.  Hux averts his eyes from the scavenger; the sight of her makes him want to throw the datapad across the room.  

Ren spins, ducks, parries, strikes.  His skin glistens with sweat and his hair, long and unruly, tumbles down over his face, obscuring one eye as he pauses to evaluate the position of his opponents… and his ally.  A small sound, somewhere between a groan and a sigh escapes Hux’s lips.  He still doesn’t understand why Ren would want to form an alliance with her.  He doesn’t even know her - not really - despite all his talk of Force bonds and shared experiences.  

_ Do  _ I _ know him? _ Hux wonders as he watches the scene unfold within the confines of his datapad screen.  The guards have all been dispatched, and their former Supreme Leader lies dead, his lower half still planted on his throne while his top half is sprawled unceremoniously on the floor.  Ren and the girl approach one another as sparks and ruin rain down around them, and then Ren is extending his hand to her.  The expression on his face is one of desperation.  Hux can see a vulnerability in the knight’s gaze that has never been directed toward him, even after all that they’ve been through together.  Ren had been willing to give everything to this scavenger rat, turning his back on Hux and the rest of the Order.  

The screen goes black, and Hux jabs a finger angrily at the screen, stopping the playback.   He stands up again, walking across the room to stub out his cigarette in the crystal ashtray that rests on his desktop.  He watches for a moment as the last lacy tendrils of smoke rise, circling in the air - one last desperate grasp at existence as the glowing red embers silently give up their light, leaving nothing but ash.  An apt metaphor for his own life, he thinks, turning away from the ashtray.  

Whatever effect he had hoped might come from the viewing of the security footage had not materialized, and he is left with a sinking, hollow feeling in his chest - an empty spot that he knows can never be filled by anything or anyone but Ren.  He wants to be angry - to feel righteous indignation swell inside him, but all he feels is desperation and defeat.  

It is late, though Hux doesn’t know, or particularly care, what the exact time might be.  He wanders aimlessly back to his bedroom, tossing the datapad carelessly onto the dresser and glancing at himself in the mirror.  He looks tired - exhausted, really - and he thinks he’s lost some weight, as if he had any weight to spare  in the first place.  His cheeks are sunken, and there are dark circles beneath his eyes.  

With a sigh, he turns his attention elsewhere, pulling open a dresser drawer and removing a t-shirt and sleep pants.  He’d might as well get comfortable, even though he harbors no glimmer of hope that he will actually sleep tonight.  

Perching on the edge of the mattress, Hux pulls off his boots and places them neatly on the floor by the bed, side by side, toes and heels lined up evenly.  He may not be able to control Kylo Ren, but he can at least keep some semblance of order in his private quarters.  He stands and removes his belt, and is just about to pull down the zipper of his uniform jacket when he hears a chime alerting him to the presence of someone at his door.  

Hux glances toward the living room, wondering who might be coming to see him.  The empty room offers up no answers, so Hux makes his way to the door with a sigh, annoyed by this interruption of his self-pity.  He presses his hand to the control panel and the door slides open. 

“Yes?  What is--” Hux’s mouth goes dry and his throat constricts as the opening door reveals none other than Kylo Ren.  He’s still wearing his change of clothes from Dantooine, and judging by the dishevelled look of his hair, Hux suspects he hasn’t taken time to look in a mirror since returning. 

“Ren…” he chokes, his voice full of gravel.  “What are you doing here?”  

He should send him away.  Allowing Ren to come in will serve no purpose, and will most likely end in an argument or even physical harm, if Hux says something foolish.  In his current state of mind, there is little doubt that he  _ would _ say something foolish.  He should close the door and go to bed, leaving Ren standing there alone.  He doesn’t owe the man anything.  

Yet in that moment, he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies.  He is going to die one day; it’s a universal certainty.  Would it not be more pleasant to be killed by Kylo Ren?  It makes a sort of bitterly ironic sense. 

Hux finds himself taking a step back to allow Ren entry, and the Force user blows past him like a storm cloud.  He can feel the energy crackling in the air around him like static electricity, and he briefly wonders what could possibly have Ren so wound up.  

Having closed the door, Hux turns, assuming Ren has walked inside, possibly even taken a seat on the couch.  But when he turns, Ren is right there, standing as close as they had been back on Dantooine, and Hux utters a soft gasp.  He’s confused - disoriented - slightly afraid, and incredibly excited.  

Hux doesn’t dare look up into his face.  Whatever Ren wants, he must deal with it and send him away as quickly as possibly.  If he looks into those molten chocolate eyes, his heart will explode - of this, he is certain.  

“Look at me.”  Ren speaks the words as a command, his voice soft but firm. 

Hux finds that he must obey.  He lifts his gaze and their eyes meet.  There is a depth of feeling in Ren’s eyes that Hux has never seen there before.  It looks dangerously close to what he’d seen moments before, on his datapad.   _ How is this possible? _  His heart is pounding out of his chest, just as he’d known it would do.  Somehow, he finds his voice.  

“What can I help you with, Supreme Leader?”  

Kylo flinches slightly, his lips curling slightly downward as though he’s been bitten, but his eyes remain fixed on Hux’s.  He feels as though Ren is looking past them and straight into his soul.  Perhaps he is.  He has the ability to do so, and Hux wishes that he would.  Because in this moment, he is sure that going another day without letting his thoughts and feelings out will certainly kill him.  

“Where is Mitaka?”  Ren asks, sending Hux’s mind reeling.   _ Mitaka?  Why?  _  Ren shakes his head as if he’s heard these thoughts.  “Where is he?  He is your lover, yes?  Is he here?  Is he in the bedroom?”  

Hux is so shocked that he is unable to speak for a moment, and he’s sure he can see Ren’s jaw clench.  He’s suddenly very glad that he hadn’t invited Mitaka to his quarters tonight, or the poor man would probably be dead by now.  

“He’s not here,” Hux says, truthfully.  “Ren, what is this about?”

Ren’s expression hardens and he looks around as though he doesn’t believe Hux’s answer.  “How long have you been fucking him, Hux?  When did it start?”  When Hux makes no reply, Ren raises a hand and slams it against the door behind Hux’s head.  “Answer me!” he shouts.  

There is fire in his eyes, and the hair on the back of Hux’s neck bristles.  He takes a step backward so that his back is pressed against the door, but Kylo moves with him, staying as close as he can.  Hux shakes his head slightly, lips parted to speak but unsure what to say.  “I just--  We--” he stammers, and he can feel Ren’s body stiffen in anticipation and anger, though he doesn’t speak.  

“We aren’t.  Fucking, I mean.  We just… Dopheld is a friend.  That’s all.  I was only acting that way because I wanted you to know how it felt…”  The words spill from his lips all at once, like water bursting through a dam, and once he’s started, he can’t stop.  “I had to show you what it was like to feel like second best - to feel unwanted… un _ loved _ …” 

Ren’s whole posture changes as he takes in the words.  His expression slackens, his eyes widening and his lips parting as he sucks in a sudden breath as though he’s been punched in the gut.  His entire body seems to droop, and Hux wonders briefly if he’s in physical pain.  His gaze has dropped and he blinks rapidly, clearly put off balance by this revelation.  

“Ren...I--” 

Hux’s sentence is cut short when Ren’s lips slam into his own with such force that it knocks his head back against the door behind him, prying a soft squeak from the ginger, muffled against Ren’s mouth.  There is electricity jolting through Hux’s body, and his heart swells to the bursting point.  His mind short-circuits, and it’s all he can do to remain on his feet as his hands slowly rise to rest against Ren’s chest.  

_ What is happening?   _

Shockingly, Hux hears the answer reverberating in his mind.  It’s like he’s thinking in Ren’s voice, and the words latch onto his heart, causing his body to melt.   _ You are mine, _ the voice  says,  and before Hux can even think about how this is happening or why, he’s answering,  _ Yes, I am. _

The response seems to have the same effect as pouring gasoline on a fire.  A low, guttural groan rumbles up from Ren’s chest as he presses their bodies flush against one another.  Hux can feel Ren’s arousal, stiff and hard against his hip bone, and a violent shudder makes its way down his spine.  

His fingers clutch at the fabric of Ren’s shirt, desperate to hold him here - to keep him from escaping one more time.  Ren’s lips are moving to his neck now, and Hux tips his head back as far as he can, offering the pale column up like a living sacrifice to the dark god before him.  A breathy moan slips past his lips as he feels the blood vessels under the surface of his skin bursting beneath Ren’s lips, giving their blood up freely in the form of the dark bruise he knows will be left behind.  His arms snake around Ren’s shoulders, fingers tangling in the dark mane they’ve been desperate to thread through for so long.  

“Ren…” he breathes, gasping as he feels the man’s teeth grazing the tender skin of his throat.  Kylo answers with a low moan as his strong fingers curl into Hux’s uniform.  With a sharp tug, the seam rips open, exposing the pale skin of Hux’s chest.  

“You could have just pulled the zipper…” Hux points out, his voice light and hollow.  He doesn’t care about the uniform - not really.  He slips his arms free just long enough to shrug the garment from his shoulders, and then his hands are scrabbling at Ren’s shirt, tugging it untucked and slipping beneath the fabric to glide over the skin at his back.  He can feel Ren’s muscles rippling beneath his fingertips, strong and pulled taut in his urgency.  

_Bed…_ _We should go to the bed,_ Hux thinks.  But the thought of being separated from Kylo, even for a few moments, is unbearable.  Suddenly, Ren takes a step back, gazing at Hux with a hunger in his eyes that makes Hux feel dizzy.  Ren’s lips are parted and he’s panting slightly, hair sticking up at odd angles.  Hux takes a step forward, longing to be pressed together again, but Ren turns and begins walking further into Hux’s quarters.  

Confused, Hux stares after him, his mind frantically trying to unravel the tangled jumble of his thoughts.  Kylo pauses in the hallway, glances over his shoulder with a devious grin, and says, “I thought you wanted to go to bed.  Are you coming?”  With that, he walks straight into the bedroom without waiting for an answer.

By the time Hux enters the bedroom, Ren has stripped completely.  His tanned skin is criss-crossed with scars, just like his own, though Ren bears additional scars from combat, including the blaster wound on his shoulder, which obviously has  _ not  _ been further treated.  Hux lets his eyes wander over Ren’s form, widening as they linger on his impressive erection. With some effort, he tears his gaze away to look up at Ren’s face.

Kylo is watching him expectantly, and there is a hint of a smile twitching at the corners of his lips.  Hux swallows, heart thudding, knowing that Ren can read his every thought.  Ren strides across the room to where Hux is standing, frozen in place.  His large, calloused hands run from Hux’s shoulders down his chest, thumbs fluttering over his nipples until he’s teased them erect.  Hux shivers, noticing that Kylo’s eyes are focused on his body, and he feels a flicker of self-consciousness at the careful scrutiny.  Before he can fret too much about his physical inadequacies, though, Ren’s hands have reached his waist and are unbuttoning his pants.  Hux’s cheeks flush and his eyes close as his zipper is pulled, and then Kylo’s hand is sliding beneath the fabric, cupping his arousal.  

Hux can’t stifle his whimper as Ren rubs his palm along his length, through the sheer fabric of his boxer shorts.  He shivers, feeling a sudden disdain for every shred of clothing he still wears.  His eyelids flutter, opening to gaze on the man before him.  Ren is smiling now, apparently amused by how easily he’s taking Hux apart, piece by piece.  His arms wrap around Ren’s waist, slender fingers raking down his back, leaving possessive scratches in their wake.  They run over Ren’s backside and he shivers again, but is rewarded with a groan when he gives Ren’s ass a hard pinch, and then Ren is gripping his waistband and tugging down his pants and boxers.  

Hux kicks off his pants, allowing them to land in a tangled heap on the floor.  Ordinarily, he would never allow his clothes to remain in such a state, but Ren is quick to distract him when he grips Hux by the hips and pulls him forward, grinding against him with another moan.  His fingers circle behind  Hux’s thighs and he lifts him off the ground, forcing Hux to wrap his legs tightly around Ren’s waist as his arms rise to cling to his shoulders once more.  He is lifted effortlessly, as though he weighs no more than a rag doll, and Ren carries him to the bed. 

Hux falls onto the mattress on his back, and Ren is quick to climb over him, looking down at him with that ravenous hunger in his eyes that takes Hux’s breath away.  He lets his legs fall open on either side of Ren’s knees, baring himself to his lover.  Ren trails his fingertips over Hux’s body, down one side and circling his hip bone, then traveling along his pelvis and Hux braces for the moment he knows is coming.  Ren’s strong fingers wrap around his erection, and his hips tip up involuntarily, thrusting into his hand.  He is throbbing insistently now, desperate for friction - desperate for Ren.

“Tease…” he breathes, blinking up at Ren from behind copper lashes.  

Ren chuckles and shakes his head.  “You’re one to talk.” 

His voice sounds rough with desire, but there is a lightness to it that he’s never heard before.  It makes Hux want to devour him, and he reaches up to pull him down into a kiss.  His lips part, inviting Ren’s tongue into his mouth.  He sucks on it greedily before thrusting his own tongue back into Ren’s mouth, tasting him, claiming him.  Ren’s fingers still encircle Hux’s arousal, and his thumb now flicks over the tip, making Hux jump.  He withdraws his tongue and bites down on Ren’s lower lip, giving it a tug before releasing it.

A slender hand reaches between their bodies, fingers gripping Ren’s erection and giving it a firm stroke.   _ Kriff, he’s big _ , Hux thinks, then blushes, wondering if Ren’s heard that thought as well.  If he has, he gives no sign of it, his hungry mouth now leaving a trail of kisses and love bites down Hux’s neck and chest.  His lips close around one dusky pink nipple, and Hux’s back arches up off the mattress with a yelp, his fingers closing tightly around their prize.  

“Fuck me,” he breathes, unable to wait any longer.  “I want you… No, I  _ need _ you to fuck me.  Please!”  He’s begging now, but he doesn’t care.  Nothing else in the galaxy matters except this moment in time - this man, who crawled under his skin and stayed there until he’d become an extension of Hux himself. 

Ren doesn’t need to be asked twice.  He spits into his hand, spreading the saliva over his fingertips before reaching down between Hux’s legs and pressing a finger inside him. Hux gasps, forcing himself to relax. How can he though, when his whole body is being consumed by flames?  He spreads his legs farther, inviting Kylo deeper. 

Ren is surprisingly gentle as he prepares him, like Hux is something fragile to be handled with care. This comes as a relief since he'd actually been a little nervous after seeing how large Ren was.  A subtle crook of Ren’s fingers has Hux arching up off the bed again as pleasure jolts through him like lightning.

“That’s enough!” he gasps. “I need you. Now!”  

He sounds needy, he knows - desperate, even.  But he needs this like he needs oxygen.  He’s not sure how much longer he can last, and he doesn’t want to come undone before Ren even gets inside him.  

Ren slips his fingers out and once more spits into his hand. He reaches down to coat his erection by giving himself a few languid strokes.  Hux can tell he’s close, too, by the way his eyes loll back as he touches himself.  Ren wastes no time, lining himself up and thrusting in hard and fast, making Hux’s eyes water from the force of it.  He’s never felt so full in his life, but the brief stinging sensation is far outweighed by the waves of pleasure that crash over him as Ren begins to roll his hips.  

Hux reaches out, feverishly clawing at Kylo’s chest, tugging on his hair, scraping his nails down his back as Ren slams into him again and again with reckless abandon.  If he was showing restraint in his preparation, it’s all flown out the window now.  Ren’s body trembles beneath Hux’s fingers, and he knows his own body is behaving exactly the same way.  A delicious pressure is pooling in his core, and he wills himself to hold out a little while longer.  

A thin sheen of sweat glistens on Kylo’s hot skin, strands of hair clinging damply to his face as he rocks, his breath heavy and fast against Hux’s skin.  His legs lift, wrapping tightly around Ren’s hips, keeping him close as he feels his climax building.  He tugs Ren down into a searing kiss, and the next moment, he’s tumbling into blissful oblivion.  His arms wrap around Ren’s shoulders, clinging to him like a drowning man to a life preserver as his head tips back, eyes closed and lips parted in a cry of desperate pleasure. 

The moment Hux finds his release, he feels Kylo’s body shudder.  Ren’s teeth sink into the fleshy juncture of neck and shoulder as he tries ineffectively to stifle a moan of his own, his hips bucking and gyrating as he empties himself.  His body goes limp, panting hard.  Hux can feel both their hearts pounding in time as aftershocks make his body quake and twitch.  

Ren pulls out with a grunt and flops down beside Hux.  His eyes are closed and a smile curls his lips, which now part slightly to emit a soft sound of pure contentment.  Hux wants to reach out and touch him, just to be sure he's really there, and that it hasn't all been a hallucination, but he is becoming increasingly aware of the pool of semen on his belly and, though he hates to leave the warmth of his bed, he also hates the idea of waking up to a sticky mess like he had a couple nights ago.  He struggles with the conundrum for a few moments, loath to turn away, lest Kylo vanish like an apparition while his back is turned.  In the end, though, physical necessity wins out, and he slips out of bed and into the refresher to clean himself up.  

Upon returning, Hux studies the man lying on his bed.  He can’t tell whether Ren is asleep or not as he crawls in beside him, but he takes the opportunity to allow his gaze to linger on Kylo’s face, mapping each mole, tracing each scar, caressing his full lips.  His own lips tingle when he remembers the way they’d kissed. 

_ Don’t be a fool, Hux,  _ he thinks. _  He’ll probably be gone by morning, and we’ll never speak of this again. _

Right on cue, Kylo’s eyes open.  He reaches out, resting one large hand on Hux’s cheek and lightly running the pad of his thumb over Hux’s lower lip.  

“I’m not leaving,” he says softly.  “Not unless you throw me out.” 

Hux feels his heart flutter like a school boy with a crush, and he smiles in spite of himself.  

“Stay, then” he says, holding Ren’s hand in place and kissing his thumb.  “Please.”


	19. Part 16:  Kylo

“Stay, then…”   

No two words have ever sounded sweeter to Kylo.  His head is fuzzy and his whole body is thrumming in blissful afterglow.  His eyelids are heavy, but he doesn’t want to sleep.  Not yet.  Not when Hux is lying beside him, looking the way he is.  His cheeks are flushed, his burnished copper hair is tousled, and his lips are rosy and swollen and pulled into a lazy smile.  Kylo thinks he’s never seen anything quite so lovely.  His thumb still glides over Hux’s lower lip, though his hand has been released from Hux’s grasp.  

“These lips…” he says softly, smiling as his eyes linger on Hux’s mouth.  “I like them.  I think I’ll keep them for my own.”  

Hux gives a little breathy laugh, almost shyly, making Kylo’s smile broaden.  This is a side of Hux he’s never seen before - never even knew existed.  But, then, he supposes Hux is probably thinking the same about him.  

“You’re beautiful,” Kylo says, finally withdrawing his hand and inching closer so that his head rests on the pillow, right beside Hux’s.  Before tonight, he’d never noticed the spectrum of colors that fleck Hux’s eyes - not just green, but grey, silver, blue, even amber.  They are breathtaking.  

“Beautiful…” Hux echoes the word, halfway between a statement and a question, and Kylo isn’t sure whether he’s arguing against the point, or returning the compliment.  

Their bodies have only been separated for a few minutes, but already Kylo wants to be closer again - wants to be tangled up in Hux so thoroughly that he can no longer tell where he ends and where Hux begins.  He knows these feelings are probably a result of the chemical cocktail coursing through his veins in his post-coital bliss, but that knowledge doesn’t diminish those feelings in the slightest.  

Hux’s eyes are traveling down Kylo’s chest now, and his hand reaches out to trace the scar that Rey had given him back on Starkiller Base.   _Don’t, Hux.  Please don’t ruin this moment,_ he thinks, desperately willing him not to bring Rey up now.  Mercifully, he does not.  Instead, his fingertips continue their journey, gliding along the ridges and valleys of Kylo’s muscular chest, making him shiver as goosebumps spring up on his skin.  

“That tickles,” he whispers.  Hux’s hand hesitates, and Kylo adds, “No, don’t stop. I like it.”  

Hux’s fingers resume their movement, now gliding upward to circle one nipple before tracing his left clavicle. His gaze rises to meet Kylo’s and he suddenly asks, “What made you come here tonight?”  His hand moves from Kylo’s chest to thread his fingers through his hair, brushing the black tendrils from his face and smoothing them back with a gentle touch.  

Kylo’s brow furrows for a moment as he considers how to answer the question.  Why had he come here tonight?  Because _not_ coming was simply not an option.  

“I’ve been going slowly insane, thinking of you with Mitaka… thinking of you with _anyone,_ really.” He surprises himself with his own frank honesty, but once he’s said it, he continues.   

“On Dantooine… when you were fixing that stupid comlink… I was going crazy...  I wanted to...I don’t know.  I just wanted your attention.  I was about to go to you when you barged through that door, and then…”  He trails off, allowing the memory of events to speak for itself.  

With a soft grunt, Kylo props himself up on one elbow, cradling his face in his hand so he can gaze down at Hux.  With the forefinger of his free hand, he traces an invisible line from Hux’s sternum to his belly button, and back up again.  He loves the feeling of Hux’s skin, soft and smooth beneath his calloused fingers.  

“After we got back, I couldn’t think about anything else.  I couldn’t eat, couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t meditate.  I thought if I didn’t see you, I’d go mad.  So I just came.”  He gives a little shrug and offers a sheepish grin.  

Hux listens quietly, taking this all in stride.  Perhaps he’d been feeling the same way.  

“I still don’t understand why you ever thought that Mitaka and I were together, though,” Hux says.  “I never said that we were, and I’m sure _he_ wouldn’t have told you that, either.  He’s kriffing terrified of you.  Even if we _were_ together, he never would have told you.”

Kylo frowns.  “In the medical wing… after Ryloth.  He certainly acted like you two were… _intimate._ ” He spits out the word as if it’s personally offended him.  “And then, when you woke up, he was the first one you asked for, so I just assumed…”  Kylo feels embarrassed, and a little foolish, for jumping to such a conclusion, though at the time it had seemed perfectly reasonable.  “Then in the officers’ lounge--”

Hux shakes his head, cutting Kylo off.  “Ren.  I was out of my mind on painkillers in the medical wing.  I asked for Dopheld because I thought I’d heard his voice while I was drifting in and out of consciousness.  That’s _all_.”

Kylo scrunches up his nose as if he’s smelled something vile.  “Don’t call him that.”

“What?” asks Hux, though he knows exactly what Kylo means.

“ _Dopheld_ ,” Kylo says, spitting the name out with disgust.  “I mean, what kind of name is that, anyway?”

Hux shrugs.  “It’s his name.”

“I don’t care.  Call him Mitaka, like everyone else does.”

Hux laughs, running his fingertips down Kylo’s face, tracing his scar.  “If it will make you happy, I will call him Mitaka when I’m with you.”

“Good,” Kylo says, turning his head to press a kiss to Hux’s palm.  “But what about the Officers’ Lounge?  You certainly seemed smitten with him then!”

Hux waves it off.  “I wanted to see if I could get a reaction out of you, after you--” He cuts himself off short and his eyes widen slightly, like a child who’s nearly let a secret slip.  

“What?” Kylo asks, arching one dark brow.  “After I what?”

A pale flush has risen to Hux’s cheeks, and he averts his gaze for a moment.

“The day you spent training… I went to the gym to find you, and--”

Kylo laughs out loud, suddenly understanding everything.  “And you walked in on me in the showers,” he says, finishing the statement that Hux is struggling with.  

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew,” Kylo says, as if it’s the most obvious thing.  “I could sense you the moment you stepped into the locker room.”  

Hux is blushing deeply now, and Kylo can’t help but tease him just a little more.  “You really enjoyed that, didn’t you?” he prods with mischief in his eyes.

“What?  I… Of course not.  I simply…”  Hux lets the sentence trail off, brows furrowed as he connects the dots in his mind.  “You snake!” he suddenly exclaims, punching Kylo in the arm.  “You did all that on purpose?”

Kylo laughs again, gripping Hux and pulling him closer in an atoning hug.  “Maybe,” he confesses.  “Well, no, not _all_ of it… But the fact remains that you _did_ enjoy it.”  He offers a sheepish grin, peeking at Hux from behind heavy eyelids and long, dark lashes.  

Kylo considers admitting everything - that he’d used Rey’s name simply to evoke a response from Hux - that he’d been trying all along to make him jealous.  But now that he knows Hux was playing his own game, it doesn’t really seem important anymore.  Besides, he doesn’t want to bring Rey into the discussion at all.  Not yet, anyway.

“Perhaps I did enjoy it,” Hux admits.  He’s burrowing his head beneath Kylo’s chin and his arm is draped lazily over the curve of Kylo’s waist.  Kylo can sense the quiet contentment radiating off him; it resonates like the purring of a large cat.  Hux bends one knee and slips it between Kylo’s so their legs are tangled together, and Kylo feels himself growing hard again.  He could take Hux again - would love nothing better - but he’s also still reeling from their last encounter, and he isn’t sure if Hux would want to go again already.  

“Hux,” he says softly, and waits for him to raise his head.  “I…”  He’s not entirely sure what he wants to say.  It’s far too soon to be sharing the words that echo in the back of his mind, yet he wants to express his feelings somehow.  But then, what _are_ his feelings?  Is it even possible to love someone you barely know, even if you’ve seen them every day for years?  He forces the thought from his mind.

“May I kiss you again?” he finally asks, even though the question makes him feel ridiculously juvenile.  Hux looks up at him with those pale green eyes and gives a slight nod of his head, and Kylo’s heart flutters as he leans in, pressing his lips to Hux’s.  The frenzied urgency from before has evaporated, leaving a warm, heavy sweetness in its wake.  A soft whimper slips past Kylo’s lips as they move slowly in time with Hux’s, tasting, savoring, caressing.  He lifts a hand to slip his fingers into silky copper hair and hooks a leg over Hux’s hip, pulling him closer.  He’s sure that Hux can feel his arousal, but he doesn’t care.  As if in response to this very thought, Hux shifts, rubbing his thigh between Kylo’s legs.

The contact elicits a soft gasp, and he pulls back from the kiss just far enough to gaze into Hux’s eyes, smiling softly as he runs his hand down Hux’s side to rest at his hip.  “I like your body,” he says quietly, grinning.  

“Well, thank-you,” Hux replies.  “I’m rather fond of it, myself.”  

Kylo laughs, shaking his head.  Somehow, this man has managed to reduce him to a bumbling fool with a youngling’s vocabulary.  

“It’s alright, you know,” Hux says.

The phrase brings a look of confusion to Kylo’s face, and Hux smiles and bites his lower lip.

“ _This_ is alright.”  He reaches down to his hip and places his hand over Kylo’s.  Slowly, he guides the hand downward, and Kylo’s eyes widen as he suddenly understands.  

“Really?” he asks, his fingers curling around Hux’s growing arousal.

Hux thrusts his hips against Kylo’s hand as he nods.  “I want you.  Really.”  

In an instant, Kylo’s lips are on Hux’s once more, and he’s crawling over him, keeping their bodies pressed together as much as he can.  This time is different from before.  They move slowly, gracefully in time with one another.  Skin caresses skin, bodies intertwined, merging in and out of one another in the most intimate of dances.  

Kylo’s lips chart the landscape of Hux’s body, kissing his freckles and nibbling at his earlobe, his jawline, his shoulders.  They never stray far, always returning to his mouth, the way a dolphin returns to the water’s surface for the breath of life.

 Hux’s hands travel over every inch of Kylo’s skin, pausing only occasionally for a possessive pinch or scratch.  They take their time exploring one another, sharing gasps and whimpers of pleasure as they each discover what makes the other come undone.  

After the passion has reached its pinnacle - after the moans and cries have subsided to soft, satisfied sighs, the two lie tangled in the sheets.  Their hair and skin are damp with perspiration, and they are both completely and utterly sated.

“That was incredible,” Kylo whispers breathlessly, smiling at his lover.

“Mm.  It was, indeed,” Hux answers, returning the smile.

Kylo laughs softly and presses one more kiss to Hux’s lips before laying his head down on the pillow.  He pulls Hux close, unwilling to be separated from him as they both fall into a sound, blissful sleep.

***

Kylo’s arm flops across the bed and he yawns widely as his eyes flutter open.  For a moment, he doesn’t know where he is; the room is unfamiliar to him.  But as he regains consciousness, the memories return, bringing a smile to his lips.  

The spot where Hux had lain, wrapped up in Kylo’s arms the night before, is empty now, but the sheets are still warm and his scent lingers there.  Kylo glances around the room for any sign of him, and realizes he can hear the sound of running water.  

 _He must be in the shower,_ Kylo thinks, grinning as he considers the thought of sneaking in to join him.  He yawns again and sits up, letting his long legs hang off the edge of the bed.  A glance in the mirror lets him know that he really is in _need_ of a shower.  His hair is disheveled and stringy with dried sweat from the night before.  Standing to his feet with a languid stretch, he turns toward the refresher, but is suddenly interrupted as Hux’s datapad blinks to life on the dresser, emitting a shrill beep.  

 _Just an incoming message,_ Kylo thinks. _I shouldn’t look at it… It’s Hux’s datapad, not mine._  Still, he eyes it curiously.   _But who would be sending Hux a message this early in the morning?  What if it’s important?_ It’s a poorly fabricated excuse, he knows, but another thought follows quickly on its heels.   _What if it’s Mitaka?_  

Hux had assured him lastnight that he and Mitaka were only friends, but Kylo still feels a twinge of jealousy at their apparent closeness, being on a first name basis.  What harm could it do for him to have a quick peek?  

 _I_ **am** _the Supreme Leader, after all.  I can do whatever I like._

With an exaggerated nonchalance, he steps over to the dresser and picks up the datapad.  It flickers to life again in his grasp and, when prompted for a passcode, he types in “FirstOrder.”  Immediately, he is greeted with a message that reads, “Welcome back, Grand Marshal Hux.”  

Kylo utters a quiet snort of laughter and shakes his head.   _Predictable...and adorable._  He opens the notifications tab and finds the message that has just arrived.  It’s nothing important - an alert about one of the exterior shields having gone offline, but has now been fixed.  He rolls his eyes, wondering why, if the thing was fixed, they were bothering to notify him at all.

 _No wonder the poor man never gets any sleep,_ he thinks.  

He closes the ‘messages’ screen and is about the place the pad back on the dresser when he notices the previously opened application.  “Security surveillance feed, Throne Room,” it reads, along with a date and time stamp.  

Kylo stares at it, an uneasy feeling coiling in the pit of his stomach.  He should leave it.  He should go into the refresher and hop into the shower and enjoy some invigorating morning sex before going back to business as usual.  But he can’t help wondering why Hux had been looking at security footage from the throne room.  

 _Walk away.  Just walk away,_ says the voice inside him, but he ignores it, sitting back down on the edge of the bed and hitting ‘play.’  

Nothing happens.  The screen remains black.  Feeling a little confused, but also relieved, Kylo’s finger moved to the ‘stop’ button.  But then the screen flickers, halting him.  Grainy lines streak across the screen, on and off again for several seconds before rendering an image once more.  

The throne room comes into view.  With a jolt, Kylo realizes that it is _the_ day.   _Of course,_ he thinks.   _Hux told me he’d seen the footage.  This must be how he viewed it._  Once again, relief floods his system.  There’s nothing here that hasn’t already been hashed out.  

Looking more closely, he can make out the shape of his own body lying on the floor, unconscious.  He’d forgotten that he had been knocked out by the blast, but of course he had been.  That was when Rey had escaped.  

That same uneasy feeling from before begins to bubble up in his stomach as he watches his motionless body.  How long had he been unconscious?  He’d never given it much thought.  Even though he’s lived through the ordeal, he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from the screen, and he finds that he’s holding his breath, as if _this time_ , he might not wake up.  

He sees movement in the bottom corner of the screen, and realizes it is Hux entering the throne room.  He smiles at the image.  Everything seems so different now.  The man on the datapad screen, with his ridiculous greatcoat and his air of superiority, barely resembles the man whose bed he shared last night - whose body had been bared to him and to whom he had bared himself in return.  

Kylo watches Hux approach the throne.  He can’t see his face, but he knows that Hux is appalled by the scene in front of him.  He stands there, simply staring for a full minute before turning to glance over his shoulder at Ren’s unconscious form. Kylo is startled by the expression he sees on the general’s face.  There is shock - that much is certain - but there is something else there as well.  Revulsion?  Anger?  Loathing.  It isn’t the blazing fury that Kylo exhibits.  This is a cold and calculating anger that bides its time, striking like a snake, only when the moment has revealed itself.  The digital image of Hux turns his body and glares at the unconscious Ren with an icy stare that sends a chill down Kylo’s spine.  Hux takes a step forward and then…

Kylo blinks, his mouth hanging open in shock.  Surely he had just seen it wrong.  Hux couldn’t have _actually_ done what it appeared that he had… Kylo hits the ‘back’ button and resumes the feedback, watching again with mounting horror as Hux reaches into his greatcoat, wraps his fingers around his blaster, and begins to draw the weapon.  The unconscious Ren begins to stir and Hux replaces the blaster, the picture of innocence, as Kylo sits up.  There is no sound, but he can see Hux’s lips form the words, “What happened?”

The next thing he knows, the datapad is falling from Kylo’s limp hands, clattering to the floor.  His heart is hammering so hard and fast in his chest that he thinks it might explode, and his head is spinning.  He glances toward the refresher door, as if it might offer some explanation for what he’s just see - some rationalization that will erase the cruelty of the images on the screen.  But the door remains closed and silent.  

Kylo moves around the room in a state of shock.  His mind is wrestling with the images that replay over and over and over, but his body and heart are numb.  

Hux had been preparing to kill him.  He was actually reaching for his blaster.  If Kylo hadn’t been revived at that very moment, he may never have been revived again.  He has just spent the night with a man who might have murdered him while he lay unconscious!

The absolute absurdity of the thing makes him want to laugh and scream and cry all at the same time.  And how dare Hux have been bothered by Kylo reaching out to Rey when, moments later, Hux had been contemplating putting a blaster bolt through Kylo’s head?  

The emotions raging in his chest threaten to tear him apart - Shock, horror, betrayal, fury, and an aching, desperate sadness.  Had it all been a lie?  Was this some demented trick to lull Kylo into a false sense of security so that Hux could eliminate him without anyone knowing?  After all, the man had conspired with Phasma to secretly kill his own father.  True, Kylo was also guilty of patricide, but at least _he_ had been bold and honest enough to look Han Solo in the eye as he drove the lightsaber blade through his heart.  Hux had remained in the shadows, letting a soldier do the dirty work, and indirectly, at that!

Kylo is working himself into a frenzy as the confusion builds, throwing more and more fuel on the fire of his despair.  Determined not to lose control yet, Kylo pulls on his boots and walks briskly to the door.  He pauses for a moment outside, glancing one last time over his shoulder as it slides shut behind him.  With a heavy heart, he turns and strides down the corridor leaving Hux - and the events of the previous night - behind him.


	20. Part 17: Hux

Hux steps out of the shower and grabs a towel from the rack, running it over his clean, damp skin.  He stands in front of the mirror, naked, and smiles at his reflection.  He’s never been particularly fond of his physique - not bulky or imposing like Ren.  And yet...Ren had told him he was beautiful.  He ruffles his hair with the towel, leaving it spiky and disheveled, but he doesn’t care.  He can’t remember the last time he felt so… _alive._  

His thoughts drift to the next room, and he wonders whether Ren is still asleep.  He would have heard if Ren had entered the refresher while he’d been showering, so he doubts that he’s been up and about yet.  Good.  His heart swells at the thought of crawling back into bed next to Ren’s warm body.  Maybe he will kiss him awake.  Or maybe he will find another occupation for his lips in waking his lover.  He can’t help but grin at the idea.  

Wrapping the towel tightly around his waist, Hux opens the refresher door and steps into his bedroom.  His gaze falls on the empty bed, and he feels confusion cloud his thoughts.  His eyes scan the room, searching for any sign of Ren, but there is nothing.  He frowns.  

_Maybe he went to the kitchen to look for something to eat._

Hux wanders to the kitchen, expecting to see Kylo after each corner he turns, but each time he is disappointed as he’s presented with another empty space.  He searches the rest of his quarters, one room at a time, but Ren is nowhere to be found.  Panic tightly squeezes his heart.  Has something happened?  Ren had promised to stay.  Surely, he wouldn’t have just left without saying anything.  

_Would he?_

Hux walks back to the bedroom, dread coiling in his stomach.  Something isn’t right.  He’s sure of it.  As much as he’d like to believe that Ren has simply gotten up and decided to quickly grab a change of clothes and come back, in his gut he can sense that it isn’t the case.  Flopping down on the edge of the bed, he cradles his head in his hands with a sigh.  He considers sending Ren a message and asking him where he’s gone, but just as this thought is taking shape, his eyes catch sight of the datapad lying on the floor by his feet.  He must have nearly stepped on it on his way into the room.  

With a grunt, he bends down to pick it up, wondering why it’s on the floor instead of on the dresser, where he’d left it.  He taps on the screen and squints, trying to figure out what he’s looking at.  It’s the security footage of the throne room, and he remembers having watched it before Ren had arrived at his door last night.  But something is different…

Hux scrutinizes the image, looking for any detail that’s changed when, with a lurch of his heart, he realizes that he hasn’t ever seen this image at all, before this moment. It’s resting at a spot in the playback that Hux hadn’t yet reached.  With a jolt of nervous energy, he hits the back button and scans through the frames until he reaches the blackened screen.  He hadn’t even realized there _was_ more footage, having assumed when the screen had gone black that the stream of images had reached its conclusion.

With a sickening feeling beginning to church inside him, he hits ‘play’ and the scene unfolds.  He sees Ren’s unconscious form on the floor...watches the image of himself as he walks into the throne room.  The frames continue their merciless procession until Hux sees his digital image reach into his greatcoat for his blaster.  

“Kriff!” he shouts as, all at once, realization comes crashing down around him, burying him in an avalanche of jagged thoughts and stabbing regrets.  Everything comes together with crystal clarity, and he knows exactly why Kylo has gone.  

It takes a minute for Hux’s emotions to catch up to the spinning of his head as he sits there in shock, helplessly staring at the images that continue to dance across the screen.  Finally tearing his eyes away, he glances behind him at the empty bed where he and Ren had been lying together, less than an hour ago.  An overwhelming sense of despair crashes over him like a tidal wave.  The violent tide pulls him beneath its surface, sucking the air from his lungs as rage begins to swell there in its place.  

The absolute injustice of it all is more than he can bear, and before he realizes what he’s doing, Hux has stood to his feet and hurled with datapad at the wall with all the force his slender frame can muster.  A shout of absolute exasperation tears itself from his chest as the datapad hits the wall with a crunch.  Cracking and splintering, it falls to the floor in a pile of sparking electronic shards.  The sight of it reminds Hux of one of Ren’s tantrums, and he feels the sharp sting of loss all over again.  For the first time, he can understand what drives Ren to destroy things in his anger.  

Hux doesn’t want to get dressed.  He doesn’t want to go to the bridge.  He definitely doesn’t want to be around other people.  But he also can’t bear the thought of remaining here, in this room that still smells of Ren and the passion they’d shared the previous night.  Anyway, he has little choice.  He would never think of feigning illness, and if he did, Ren would know.  The only thing he can do is get dressed and pretend like this is an ordinary day, just like any other.

His feet feel as heavy as lead as he goes through the motions of putting on his uniform.  He reaches for a clean jacket and remembers, with startling clarity, the way it had felt when Ren curled his fingers in the fabric and ripped it from his chest.  That uniform is in the living room, on the floor.  Ren must have stepped right over it on his way out the door.  He makes a mental note to have it burned.  

 

***

 

It is business as usual on the bridge of the Supremacy, and Hux finds a measure of comfort in the familiarity of routine.  Operations are running smoothly for once, so he is able to distance himself from the officers beneath him, and keep to himself.  Once he’s made his rounds, he slips away quietly, retreating to the privacy of his office.  

Flopping down in his chair, Hux rests his elbows on the desk and buries his face in his hands.  Perhaps coming here was a bad idea, after all.  At least on the bridge, he had the constant din of activity taking place all around him to distract him from his thoughts.  Here, by himself, he has nothing to occupy his mind, to keep it from returning to the one thing he doesn’t want to think about - the one thing he is helpless to escape.  With an unsteady hand, he presses the intercom button and orders himself a cup of bitter tarine tea.  Perhaps the tea will help to calm his nerves - to blur the memories that haunt his mind and soul.  It’s a shame he can’t drink something stronger while on duty.  He just wants to forget.

He doesn’t want to remember how it felt to be touched so tenderly and claimed so passionately.  He doesn’t want to remember the look on Kylo’s face when he reached his climax, eyes closed, lips parted, damp black hair clinging to his face.  With a groan, Hux leans back in his chair.  He knows there’s no use fighting the thoughts.  They’re bound to catch up with him the moment he stops running from them.  

How could he have let this happen?  He isn’t even sure what aggravates him the most - the fact that he’d drawn the blaster, or that he’d been too weak to take the shot.  

_No.  Not that.  Never that…_

But if he’d only killed Ren when he’d had the chance, _none_ of this would have happened, and he would be happily seated on Snoke’s throne as the Supreme Emperor of the galaxy, with no one to stand in his way.  

... _No one but that desert rat and her precious princess,_ he amends.  But without Ren in the way to hamper his plans, Hux surely would have wiped any trace of them from existence by now.  This is _all_ Kylo Ren’s fault.  

_He promised to stay… He broke his promise, just like everyone does._

Hux leans forward on the desk again, pinching the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger.  

_Where is that bloody tea?_

Just as he’s wondering this, the door slides open and Mitaka stands in the entryway, holding his cup of tea.  He has a grin on his face that makes Hux want to punch him, but he tries to put on a pleasant facade for the sake of his friend.  

“Ah, Lieutenant.  Thank-you,” he says, rising from his seat and holding out a hand for the tea cup.  

Mitaka steps forward and hands over the steaming mug.  He glances at the chair opposite Hux’s, as if to ask permission to sit, and Hux takes a long sip of his tea.  He doesn’t want Dopheld here.  Not _now_ .  He doesn’t want _anyone_ here.  Kriffing hells, he’d come to his office to get _away_ from people!  But he can’t very well order Mitaka to leave for no reason.  The man is his friend, or the closest thing he has to one, so he nods, and Mitaka sits.  

“I heard about your trip to Dantooine,” Mitaka offers.  

Hux coughs, nearly choking on his tea.  He sets the cup down on the desk, not trusting his trembling hands to hold it steadily.  Of every possible thing Mitaka could bring up, why did he have to choose the thing - the _person_ \- Hux most wants to avoid?  Irritation roils low in his stomach, but he tries to keep it under control.

“Bothersome.  A nuisance and an utter waste of time,” Hux says, trying very hard to appear disinterested in the subject.  “And what about you?  I hope you didn’t end up with a hangover after our dinner the other night.”  

Mitaka shakes his head.  “No, it was fine.  But, I’ve been thinking about something.  The way you provoked Ren that night… He seemed pretty angry.  Am I in any danger?”

_Of course you are in danger, you fool,_ Hux thinks. _Everyone who rubs shoulders with Kylo Ren is in danger, in one form or another_ .  _How can anyone look into the eyes of a man like Kylo Ren and not be in danger of losing their very soul?_ _No one is safe._

“No, I don’t believe so,” he lies.  “But you can’t be too careful.  Shall I look into a ship transfer until things blow over?” he asks the question with a subtle shrug of his shoulders.

Mitaka considers this for a moment.  Hux knows what he’s thinking - that Mitaka isn’t fond of change, and that he enjoys being posted nearby Hux - his ‘friend’.  Hux wonders whether he truly is a friend to Mitaka.  

_Do I even know how to be a friend?  Do I even care enough to try?_

“It might be a wise move,” Mitaka finally says.  “Perhaps I might be stationed back on the Finalizer?”  

Hux nods.  “A splendid idea.  I’ll get started on the paperwork.”

Mitaka gives him a tentative smile, and Hux can feel another question coming.  He’s worried that Mitaka might ask him what happened on Dantooine, but the question he asks is far worse.  

“Have you thought about what I said the other night?”  

Hux feels a tightening in his chest, and he truly believes his heart might actually be caving in on itself.  There is a pulsing in his temples and behind his eyes, but he manages to maintain some semblance of impassivity as he answers, “Yes.  Thank-you, Mitaka.  I’ve thought about it a great deal.”  

Mitaka seems encouraged by this.  “That’s good news,” he says, leaning forward with another one of his infuriating smiles.  

All Hux can think about is how he get Mitaka out of his office in the quickest possible way.  He can’t have this conversation - not today, of all days.  Mitaka is the closest thing he has to a confidante, yes.  But this… This is something he can’t talk to Mitaka about.  This is something he can never speak to _anyone_ about.  He clutches the pain tightly to his chest, as if it is something precious and fragile, and he must protect it from anyone who might try to tear it away from him.  

“Yes, yes, very good,” he says, waving a dismissive hand.  He can feel a lump forming and rising in his throat, and he knows he has to change the subject quickly, but Mitaka is speaking again.  Hux shakes his head, blinking.  

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” he asks, lifting his tea cup to his lips.  He doesn’t actually drink, though.  He’s sure that nothing could possibly fit through the constriction in his throat.

“What did you decide?”  Mitaka presses, and a red mist settles over Hux’s field of vision.

“I’ve decided that it’s none of your kriffing business!”  The words are flung from his mouth before he’s even aware they’re being spoken, each one a poison-tipped dagger.  His jaw is set and his hands are clenched into fists on the desk.  

Mitaka stares in shock.

Hux takes a deep breath.  “I’m sorry, Doph.  I… didn’t mean to…”

“It’s ok,” Mitaka says, though his voice quavers slightly.  “You’ve been under a lot of strain lately.”

Hux stares down at his balled fists, willing them to relax.  He intentionally splays his fingers on the desktop before letting them relax, lowering them to his lap.

_Control.  Control._

He _has_ to gain control over himself.  He forces a smile as he lifts the teacup to his mouth again, this time forcing himself to take a small sip.  The warm liquid slides down his throat, soothing him from the inside, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

“I should probably be returning to the bridge,” he says evenly, replacing the cup on the desk.

“Right. Of course,” Mitaka replies, scrambling to his feet, still obviously unsettled by Hux’s outburst.  “Um… Are you sure you’re alright?” he asks timidly.

“Yes.  I’m perfectly fine,” Hux replies quickly - dismissively.  

“Alright,” Mitaka says, nodding.  “But you know, if you ever need to talk to someone…”

“Kriffing hells, Mitaka, I’ve said I’m _fine._ Now leave it be!”  Hux glares at him frostily, his hands once again balled into fists and slammed down on the desktop as he leans forward imposingly.

Mitaka stares again, but this time his expression is not one of shock, but of concern.  He nods, lips pursed, and turns to go without another word.

Hux exhales a long sigh as he watches his friend leave.  He hates himself for losing control, both because it’s hurt his friend and because losing one’s temper is a sign of weakness of character.  That’s how he’d always viewed it in Ren.  A childish weakness that he should have outgrown years ago, and now Hux is displaying the same behavior.  But he also hates the way the image of Mitaka walking through the door reminds him of Ren leaving his quarters that morning.  How had he looked when he’d walked through that door?  Had he been angry?  Anguished?  Disgusted?  Had he felt as betrayed as Hux had when he’d seen Ren reaching out to the scavenger?  Or is this even worse?  At least Ren had come clean about his indiscretion.

Hux shakes his head in a vain attempt to collect himself.  If he can just get back to the bridge and fall in with the routine there, everything will be fine.  The First Order is a well-oiled machine, each cog in place and doing its job.  Hux is one of those cogs - a very important one, of course.  But a cog, nevertheless.  All he has to do is focus on his role in the grand scheme of things.  Routine, control, disciple, excellence: these are the things that will deliver him from the mental anguish that is plaguing him.  Work is a refuge for the tormented soul.

He stands to his feet and rounds the desk, slipping his greatcoat on over his uniform and stepping out the door.  The walk to the bridge from Hux’s office isn’t far.  All he needs to do is keep his eyes straight ahead, and he’ll be there in no time.  

He rounds a corner and his heart jumps into his throat as he nearly runs straight into Kylo Ren.  There is one torturous moment when their eyes meet, but then he looks away.  

_What is Ren doing here, in this part of the ship, right now?_

The thought occurs to him that Kylo might have been looking for _him_ , but this thought is swept aside as he lowers his head and brushes past Ren, continuing his trek to the bridge.  

Hux can practically feel the heat of Ren’s gaze on his back as he walks, and he half expects Ren to call after him.  He hopes for it - wishes for it - in desperation, prays to the old gods of his forefathers that Ren will chase after him, grab him by the shoulders and spin him around, pulling him to himself and kissing him like he had the night before.  But there is only silence, and when Hux can no longer stand the uncertainty, he glances over one shoulder to find an empty passageway.  Ren is gone.

Back on the bridge, Hux is greeted with salutes and crisply starched words of respect and admiration.  It’s good to know that he still has control over _some_ things, even if he lacks this control over his own heart.  Still, he wonders how deeply the loyalty of these men and women actually runs.  Do they truly respect him, or do they respect his rank, only?  Would they still respect him is they weren’t bound by fear, first of Supreme Leader Snoke, and now of Kylo Ren?  Would they respect him if they knew what he’s done?

Hux decides he’s glad he hasn’t been burdened with Ren’s ‘gift’ of perceiving people’s thoughts.  He is certain he wouldn’t like what he would find behind the dutiful smiles and salutations of these sycophants, and he finds himself suddenly annoyed by their presence.  With some effort, his icy facade is fixed firmly back in place, and he takes up his circuit once more, walking the perimeter of the bridge and checking that every officer is at their designated station, hard at work.  Those who are not receive a rebuke much sharper than what they actually deserve.

Time passes at an excruciatingly slow crawl.  Hux’s mood cycles through an increasingly recognizable rotation: a gradual lift as he focuses on reports and operations, only to be reminded of Ren by some little thing, sending his heart plummeting into the pit of his stomach once more.  

Now he is standing rigidly, staring through the viewport out over the vast expanse of space.  His mind, however, is back in his quarters, lying in bed, drunk off adrenaline and dopamine and oxytocin, and gazing into Ren’s dark eyes.  His lips tingle where Kylo’s fingers had touched them.  

“ _These lips… I like them.  I think I’ll keep them for my own…”_  

_No.  No, no, no…_

_“You are mine,” … “Yes, I am.”_

_NO!_

_“I’m not going anywhere.  Not unless you throw me out.”_

Suddenly, Hux becomes aware that the officers nearest him are all staring at him.  His fist rests against the glass, and he realizes he must have pounded it against the surface with some force.  

_That’s it.  I’m losing my kriffing mind,_ he thinks.  

“Don’t you all have work to do?” he barks, and they all busy themselves immediately, murmuring to themselves and to one another.  

Keeping his head held high and his hands clasped behind his back in a false showing of professionalism, Hux strides briskly off the bridge and straight back to his quarters, before he can fall apart in front of everyone.


	21. Part 18: Kylo

Kylo has been restless all day, alternating between white hot rage and crippling anguish.  He’d lasted only a matter of minutes in the throne room before sending one of his own guards to the medical wing, simply for having a rebellious thought.  After that, he’d tried taking out his frustrations on the training dummies in the gym, but thirty minutes later, every single dummy lay on the floor, sliced into smoldering nuggets and oozing melted rubber.

Meditation had been absolutely out of the question, he’d known.  After smashing every mirror in his quarters and shredding his bantha hide sofa to a pile of lightsaber-branded scraps, he’d paused long enough collect himself.  Panting hard, he looked around and surveyed the damage he’d done.  He’d known it was ridiculous - that if he continued, he’d have no place to sleep that night.  Not that he’d be doing any sleeping that night, anyway.  

That was when he’d had the brilliant idea to go to the bridge and confront Hux.  It was the only way to move forward - to get any kind of closure.  But then he’d nearly run into Hux in the corridor, and his heart had refused to beat.  Their eyes had met, and he couldn’t speak - couldn’t act.  

He’d thought he wanted justice, but in that moment, he knew n that what he’d really been seeking was revenge.  When he looked into those pale green eyes that haunted both his dreams and his waking hours alike, he’d found himself paralyzed.  Then Hux had lowered his gaze and pushed past him, and it felt like a kick to the stomach.  Furious with his own weakness and cowardice, he’d turned around and strode away from the bridge as quickly as his legs could carry him.  

It is late now, and Kylo feels like he’s been trampled by a herd of wild happabore.  His muscles ache from the fit of fury he’s unleashed on his furniture, but it can’t compare to the aching in his heart. He lies on his bed, exhausted but unable to sleep, images from the night before running helter-skelter through his mind.  

He flops onto his side and stretches out his arm across the empty bed.  He can’t remember the last time he’d spent a night holding someone.  He can still feel the weight and warmth of Hux’s slender frame wrapped up in his arms, their bare skin pressed together, hearts beating in sync behind their ribs.  He can still smell the scent of Hux’s shampoo and deodorant, and the sweet, salty evidence of their lovemaking.  

Is that what this is?  Is it even possible that he could  _ love _ this man?  It was more than a casual fuck; that much is beyond any shadow of a doubt.  But  _ love? _  Kylo has come to believe - possibly because Snoke had  _ wanted  _ him to believe - that he was  _ incapable  _ of love.  After all, what place is there for love on the dark side?  

And yet… even Darth Vader had fallen in love.  Of course, that was before he’d  _ become _ Darth Vader, but does that really matter?  Kylo had believed that compassion had been Vader’s downfall.  That’s what Snoke had always told him - repeated it over and over until it was ingrained in his mind without question.  But what if Snoke had been wrong?  Even more likely, what if Snoke had been lying?  He’d certainly lied to Kylo about countless other things, and Kylo had lapped every one of those lies up like a dog lapping milk from a saucer.  

_ Stupid, stupid stupid… _

He doesn’t know what is truth and what is fiction anymore.  He had dedicated his entire life to Snoke and to the dark side, and he’d been abused and betrayed again and again in repayment for that commitment, until he’d lost all trust in his ability to determine truth from lies.  When he killed Snoke, Kylo had thought he would be free of his former master, but now that he is on his own, he feels utterly lost.  

Alone. 

But he hadn’t been alone last night.  

Without thinking about it, his hand moves to the scars on his chest where Snoke had shocked him over and over in his training.  He’s been beaten, bruised, electrocuted and tortured, and he could cope with all of that.  Physical pain is nothing - electrical impulses in the body that can be turned off - tuned out.  But this throbbing in his chest is something he cannot bear, and suddenly he can’t stand being in his quarters for another second.  

He  _ can’t  _ go crawling back to Hux, though.  Not after walking out on him this morning.  Hux hasn’t even tried to contact him today.   _ He  _ had been the one to go to the bridge, even though he hadn’t followed through with his plan to confront Hux.  But Hux hadn’t even had the nerve to stand and look him in the eye, shoving his way past Kylo as if he’d been a bothersome stranger.  For all he knows, Hux could be plotting Kylo’s murder at this very moment.  It’s not out of the realm of possibility.  

But all these theories and suspicions fall flat.  If Hux had been plotting against him, Kylo would have been able to sense it, and he’s left with an unbearable emptiness where his heart had beaten so loudly last night.  The longing he feels makes him angry with himself.  He’s lived this long without romantic affection, least of all from  _ Hux _ !  Surely, he can go back to being indifferent to the man.  And yet, he is desperate for Hux’s touch - the warmth of his breath on Kylo’s skin and the feeling of his fingers tracing Kylo’s scars. 

_ The scars… _

It had been the scars that had started all this, that night on the observation deck.  It seems like an eternity ago, now.  Like a completely separate life from the one they are living now.  Maybe if he returns to the place where this all began, he can somehow put it to rest.  

The thought of putting on his robes, with all their layered parts, snaps, zippers, buttons, and infinite aggravations makes his skin crawl, so he slips into a pair of soft black pants and an old shirt he wears to train.  There isn’t anyone likely to be wandering around at this hour of the night, anyway, so he’d might as well wear something that doesn’t make him want to scream more than he already does. 

Once fully dressed, Kylo walks out the door, breezing past the ruins of his leather sofa and all the other evidence of his rage.  He refuses to think about why he’s in such a hurry to go - absolutely unwilling to admit that a part of him, deep down inside, is desperately hoping that Hux might be there, feeling the same way that he feels right now.

***

By the time Kylo arrives at the observation deck, he’s managed to convince himself that he doesn’t want to see Hux.  Not tonight, at least.  

_ If Hux is here, I’ll just leave.  I don’t owe him anything. _

But as he steps through the door, and his gaze immediately falls on the slender figure of a man, silhouetted against the backdrop of galactic starlight, he feels frozen in place, like vermin, caught in a snare.  

Hux is facing away from him with his hands clasped behind his back as he gazes out over the galaxy.  He hasn’t moved at all, and Kylo wonders whether his presence has gone unnoticed.  Panic grips his heart more strongly than he’d thought possible, and he’s tempted to just turn and leave without a word.  

“Don’t go.”  

The sound of Hux’s voice causes Kylo’s heart to seize, and he turns back to look at him, but Hux still hasn't moved - he’s still staring out the viewport at what could have been  _ his _ galaxy. More and more of late, Kylo wonders whether it actually  _ should _ have been his. 

“I...didn't know you would be here,” Kylo says, and he is immediately ashamed of the sound of his own voice - weak and uncertain. It is everything he's sworn never to be. 

“Yet, here I am,” Hux replies, turning his head just slightly to cast a glance at Kylo over his shoulder. Their eyes meet for one thrilling, terrifying, gut-wrenching moment, and then Hux turns away again to look out at the expanse of space. 

The pain in those pale eyes is palpable. Up until this moment, Kylo hadn't even considered that Hux could actually be suffering right now. He'd been so blinded by his all-consuming sense of betrayal, along with the rage and despair that followed, he hadn't stopped to consider that Hux might have been truly wounded by Kylo’s sudden departure, and he has to forcibly restrain his sudden desire to forget all about the video and beg for his forgiveness.

He takes another step inside, so the door can close behind him.  He wants to run to Hux and shake him or kiss him, or both, but he remains rooted to the spot where he stands. 

“Are you going to come in, or simply stand there like the great lump you are?” 

Kylo opens his mouth to utter some snarky retort, but he cannot find the words, so he silently crosses the room to stand beside Hux, their twin gazes directed parallel to one another, into space.

Kylo has always found it ironic that the largest part of the galaxy, by far, is simply open, empty space. Now, it seems to mirror the emptiness in his own heart and soul. His hands are clenched into fists at his sides, and if he moves just a fraction of an inch, he’ll be touching Hux’s arm. He wants to, but he doesn't. 

“You left,” Hux says with a suddenness that take Kylo off guard. Still, he doesn't move. 

“You know why I left,” he says. 

Hux gives a soft but derisive snort, and Kylo has the urge to grab him and throttle him… or to kiss him until the breath is stolen from his lungs.

“Yes. I know why you left,” Hux says. 

Kylo turns to face him, but Hux remains fixed, refusing to meet his gaze. 

“Well then?” Kylo is growing increasingly agitated, and Hux’s apparent impassivity is rattling him more than it should. “Don't you have anything to say about it?” 

“You shouldn't have looked,” he says, and his voice is quieter now, but still resolute.  “That was my personal property and you had no right to--” Hux cuts himself short and shakes his head, probably realizing that, as Supreme Leader, Kylo  _ technically  _ did have a ‘right’ to look. 

This answer is infuriating to Kylo, who had been seeking - and fully expecting - an apology from Hux. Not weak accusations, as if  _ he  _ had been the one in the wrong. He's just about to shoot some scathing retort, when Hux suddenly turns to face him. 

Up close, Kylo is shocked by Hux’s appearance. His uniform hangs slightly open at the collar and his face is pale - more so than usual. Perhaps most shocking, though, is that he can now clearly see tears glistening in Hux’s eyes. The pale green irises stand in stark contrast to the red-rimmed whites of his eyes, and there is a depth of sorrow behind them that threatens to choke the life from Kylo. 

“Why did you have to look?” 

The question sounds like a plea, rather than an accusation, and it opens a valve in Kylo’s chest, releasing all the steam of his pent-up anger, leaving him flat. He blinks. Swallows. 

_ Stay focused. This man wanted to  _ **_kill_ ** _ you. Don't let him win.  _

With a strength of will he doesn't really possess, Kylo says, “You were going to shoot me. You wanted to  _ kill _ me.”  He pauses, pursing his lips and looking down, away from the heart-rending gaze of the man before him. 

“Yes,” Hux says simply, as if it's perfectly normal. 

Kylo shakes his head, disbelieving that Hux is truly trying to make this Kylo’s fault. 

“Do you still want to kill me?”

“Yes,” Hux says without missing a beat, the word a sharp staccato as he takes a step closer to Kylo, forcing him to meet his gaze. 

It's isn’t true - not in a literal sense, at least, yet the abruptness of it knocks Kylo off balance like a blow to the stomach. His brow furrows as his lips part in a soft gasp. 

“What?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper. 

In that moment he realizes: in his heart, he knows - has always known - that Hux doesn't wish him harm. Not anymore. The idea seems so preposterous now, that Kylo feels foolish for ever having convinced himself of it at all. 

Still… 

But Hux interrupts his thoughts. 

“Yes, I want to be rid of you!”

Kylo just stares at him for a moment, incredulous.  

“Well, here I am.  What’s stopping you?” he asks, but this only serves to incite Hux’s rage all the more.  His face crumples into a frustrated grimace and he takes another step forward, giving Kylo a hard shove to the chest.  

“Shut up!  Just shut up, for once in your kriffing life, Ren!  I want you out of my head! I don’t want to  _ care  _ about you. I don’t want to wonder whether you’re thinking of me or of some scavenger girl in the desert.  I don’t want to need you so badly that my mind goes numb and my body aches.”  His voice finally breaks, and Kylo’s heart breaks along with it. 

Kylo turns his face away, biting at his lower lip.  “But… I saw you.  You were going to draw your blaster…”

An exasperated groan explodes out of Hux as he throws up his hands.  Kylo can feel the fuzzy heat of frustration radiating off the ginger.  It’s something he’s never felt from Hux before.  Not to this degree.  

“That was _ then! _ ” he exclaims.  “That was  _ before…  _ everything!  Can you stand there and look me in the face, and claim that you and I haven’t changed over the past weeks?  That man in the security footage… that’s not  _ me.   _ You know that, don’t you?  How can you not?  Kriffing hells, Ren, I brought you to my bed.  I let you stay with me.  I… gave myself to you.”  His voice cracks on the last phrase, and hot, angry tears spill over his copper lashes, trickling down his cheeks.  “Do you really think I would have slept with a man I wanted to kill?  What do you think I  _ am _ ?”

“I think you are  _ smart _ !”  Kylo’s voice rises to meet Hux’s as he gives his rejoinder.  “I think you are a master tactician, and a calculating, patient man.  Yes, I absolutely think would take someone to bed with the intention of having them murdered in their sleep.  I’ve heard the stories about you.  I know what you’re capable of!”  

Hux shakes his head, and once again Kylo feels that crushing sorrow coming from him.  “Oh, you’ve heard the stories.  Well, I suppose that settles everything, doesn’t it?  As if no one has ever told stories about  _ you _ …” 

Kylo opens his mouth to speak in his own defense, but Hux continues.  

“You and I were going to take Snoke down  _ together _ .  I committed treason when I conspired with you.  I  _ trusted  _ you.  I walked into that throne room, and all I saw was betrayal.  _ Your _ betrayal. I didn’t know what had happened.  All I knew was that you hadn’t kept your part of the bargain, and for all I knew, you were going to kill me, too!”  He’s panting now, eyes wide and wild, face drained of color.

“I can’t change what I did on that day in the throne room, any more than you can.  Did I consider drawing my blaster?  Yes, I did.  But I didn’t take the shot.  Yes, you were waking up, but I still could have done it.  Or last night.  If I wanted to kill you, why didn’t I do it last night while you were sound asleep in my bed?”  

Kylo feels dizzy, surprised into silence by the passion behind his words.  He swallows and blinks, sending salty tears streaking down his face, along the scar that will mark him for the rest of his life.  He has no answer.  He knows Hux is telling the truth.  

“I…” he begins, but he is at a loss for words.  All he wants to do is take Hux in his arms and kiss away his tears.  

He’d never even thought about how his actions would have affected Hux, and a sickening sense of guilt grows in the pit of his stomach.   _ What have I done? _  But Hux is speaking again, and Kylo swallows down his shame and regret.

“When I got out of the shower, and you were gone, I…”  He shakes his head.  “I’ve never felt so alone in my life.”  He purses his lips, eyes rolling to the side in a vain attempt to stem the tears that continue to slide down his cheeks.  “You can’t… just…  _ do  _ that.  You promised you would stay.  And you can’t just  _ leave  _ me like that.  Not now.  Not after everything.”  He shakes his head again, clumsily dragging the back of his wrist across his face to wipe away the moisture from his face.  “I don’t want to go to sleep at night, wondering whether you’ll be gone when I wake up.”

It’s more than Kylo can bear, and his hands spring forward, gripping Hux by the shoulders.  He knows it's impossible, but he thinks Hux feels even smaller than the night before - more frail - in need of protection. He holds Hux steady, forcing him to meet his gaze.   

“Tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.  I swear to you, I’ll do anything.  If you want me dead, then take my life.  I won’t fight you.  I won’t even try to stop you.  I’ll lie here and let you rip my heart from my chest and squeeze the life from it while I watch, if that’s what you want.  Just tell me what you want from me!”  

Hux gazes back at him with red-rimmed eyes, his lashes clumped together with tears and pink blotches staining his normally smooth, creamy skin.  He reaches forward with slender hands, his fingers curling into the fabric of Kylo’s shirt, gripping it desperately.  

“Look what you’ve done to me,” he whispers, his voice barely audible.  “I don’t want you dead, Kylo.  I don’t want to hurt you anymore.  All I want is… you.” 

Kylo sucks in a broken sob, sending fresh tears cascading down his face. He lifts his hands from Hux’s shoulders to slip his fingers into silky red hair, as if to hold him in place.  As if Hux was the one who had walked out on him without so much as a word of farewell.  To his surprise, Hux leans into his touch, and Kylo draws in a shaky breath, desperate for him to understand that Kylo hadn’t been rejecting him.  Desperate for him to know that he needs Hux every bit as much as Hux needs him.  More, probably -- so much more.  

"You  _ have  _ me," he says, his voice full of gravel.  "Last night, I said you were mine.  What I never said was that _ I _ am  _ yours _ , utterly and completely.  You are all I need.  All I want.  I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything, and it terrifies me.”  

Hux’s eyes are steady on his own, tears making them shimmer as his lower lip quivers slightly, and Kylo thinks he is trembling.  Then he realizes they are both trembling, and the thought draws a broken laugh from his lips.  One hand slips from Hux’s hair to cradle his cheek, gently wiping away the tears with the pad of his thumb.  Hux’s fingers slowly relax their grip on Kylo’s shirt, and one hand rises to lightly grasp Kylo’s wrist as his face turns to press a kiss to Kylo’s palm.  

Kylo smiles, though his tears still flow.  Now, though, they are tears of relief - of hope - of… 

“Force help me, Hux.  I think… I love you.”  

Hux’s eyes widen in surprise, but before he can say anything, Kylo lunges forward, pressing their lips together with an urgency that sucks the breath from him lungs. It feels so right - the most natural thing in the world - like coming home to a place where he feels accepted and safe.  A place where he can be free to love, and be loved.  A place he’s been searching for his entire life.

The kiss breaks, but they remain close, foreheads touching, lips parted in a soft, breathless pant.  The tips of their noses nudge one another, and Kylo can feel the warmth of Hux’s breath on his skin.  It sends a chill rippling down his spine, and his body aches to be closer still - to feel Hux’s touch on his body again.  His thumbs run gently along Hux’s cheekbones as he tips his head to suck lightly at Hux’s lower lip, savoring the way it feels - the way it tastes.  His heart is bursting, and a soft whimper filters past his lips.  

Hux’s eyes open, heavy lids fluttering so that his lashes tickle Kylo’s cheeks as he looks into his eyes.  “I think I love you, too, you… you… fustilarian.” 

“Fustilarian?  Really, Hux?”  Kylo can’t help but chuckle as he kisses him again and again - short, sweet kisses to the corners of his mouth, his upper lip, his lower lip.  “What does that even mean?”  He leaves a trail of kisses along Hux’s jawline to his ear, taking the lobe gently between his teeth.  He is suddenly ravenous for Hux - to taste every inch of his skin - to feel Hux’s hands on his body. 

“So uncivilized,” Hux says, though his body slackens in Kylo’s grasp, melting against him.  “Were you raised by wampas?”  

“Well, I  _ have _ been called a monster on more than one occasion,” Kylo replies with a breathy chuckle. 

“Come back to my rooms.  I’m not doing this in public.” Hux’s voice is hoarse, though his hands feebly press against Kylo’s chest in protest.  A soft moan slips past his pink lips, and Kylo feels himself going rigid beneath his pants.  

“Can’t wait that long…” he murmurs, but Hux pushes him away, harder this time.  

“Yes, you can,  _ Supreme Leader _ ,” he teases, chuckling softly. 

Kylo is gratified to see that Hux’s cheeks are deeply flushed, and as he pulls back, he can feel the bulge in Hux’s pants as well.  

“Alright,” he whispers, smiling as his lips brush Hux’s skin.  “But let’s hurry.”   

***

The door slides closed, and the two men are instantly tangled in one another, hands scrabbling in a frenzied need to rid themselves - and each other - of the clothing that keeps them cruelly separated.  Kylo manages to pull down the zipper of Hux’s uniform top, and he wonders - very briefly - whether Hux had intentionally pulled it part-way down to keep him from ripping another jacket.  He shoves it off Hux’s slender shoulders urgently, then moves to his pants.  

Meanwhile, Hux has managed to pull Kylo’s shirt over his head and has his fingers looped in the waistband of his pants, tugging at them insistently.  Kylo laughs as they stumble toward the bedroom without being separated from one another, their lips never parting for long before coming back together with a desperate hunger.  Kylo gets Hux’s belt unbuckled and tugs it roughly from its loops, dropping it on the hallway floor before working open Hux’s fly.  His pants slip down past his hips, and Hux neary trips over the fabric as they move through the bedroom door.  

There is no grace in the way they move, both flustered and frenzied in their need for one another as they kick off their boots, sending them flying across the room to crash with a thud against the far wall.  Hux has pulled Kylo’s pants down to his thighs, along with his boxers, and his slim hands now cup Kylo’s ass, giving it a firm, possessive squeeze as he shimmies free from his pants.  Kylo groans, falling sideways onto the bed and pulling Hux with him.  His fingers clutch the ginger’s underwear, shoving it down with his pants, and they are both - finally - blessedly - naked.  

“Hux…” Kylo gasps, crawling fully onto the bed and pulling Hux with him.  His lips go to Hux’s shoulder, kissing, licking, nipping as Hux whimpers beneath him.  Kylo’s mouth goes back to Hux’s neck and he sucks a dark bruise into the ginger’s fair skin as if to tell the galaxy,  _ this man belongs to me, and I to him.  Touch him, and perish. _

Hux’s hands are in constant motion, traveling up Kylo’s sides, over his shoulders, down his arms, then to his back and down over his backside before lifting them to curl his fingers in Kylo’s thick, black hair.  He gives it a sharp tug, and Kylo gasps, head tilting back as Hux shoves him over to the side and scrambles atop him.  

“Kriff…” Kylo pants, lifting his hands to run his fingers down Hux’s chest and sides, resting at his hips for a moment before curling his fingers around his erection.  Hux cries out at the contact, eyes closing for a moment before he dives forward to sink his teeth into Kylo’s shoulder, coaxing a whine from him.  

Kylo’s eyes are closed, mouth open as his hands clutch at his lover’s body.  His head turns to the side for a brief moment and he spots a bottle of lotion on the bedside table.  Stretching out one hand, he summons the bottle and it obediently flies to him.  Spreading some of the lotion over his fingers, he reaches down and presses a finger into Hux’s opening.  The ginger gives a sharp yelp, surprised by the act, though he makes no attempt to fight it.  Instead, he leans back onto Kylo’s finger, opening himself up to receive his lover eagerly.  

“Kylo…”  Hux’s voice is soft and breathy as he wiggles his hips, eyes closed.  He is obviously receiving pleasure from the preparation, and Kylo shudders with a fresh wave of arousal.  His free hand cups Hux’s face, fingers slipping into his hair as his thumb runs along his lower lip, urging him to look into his eyes.  Hux opens his mouth and bites it, pulling it between his lips and sucking on it.  He moans softly around the digit as Kylo works him open.

“That’s good enough, Ren.  Please… I need you.” 

Kylo slips his finger free and he’s just about to roll them over again when Hux raises himself up and, quickly grabbing Ren’s arousal,  lowers himself quickly onto it.  Ren cries out as electric pleasure shoots throughout his entire body.  He can’t remember ever being so hard in his life, and he knows this will not last long, but as his fingers close around Hux’s length, he knows Hux won’t last long, either.  Kylo gives him a stroke, and Hux’s head tips back, lips parted in an O shape and his eyes closed.  

“Move, Hux.  Please… move. I don’t want to come undone before we’ve even started!” he begs.  

Hux looks down at him with a sly grin and, for a moment, Kylo thinks he’s going to just sit there, teasing him until he finally explodes.  But then he begins rocking his hips, and Kylo’s head is thrown back on? the pillow.  “Kriff!” he cries, his fingers gripping Hux’s hip hard, leaving pink marks behind as his other hand starts up a frenetic pumping motion.  

“I’m not going to last…” he gasps, the pressure in his core already beginning to coil like a loaded spring.  His hips twitch, and he has to forcibly keep himself from thrusting up into his lover, so as not to injure him.   

“I’m not either, Ren.  Now, shut up and enjoy it!” Hux snaps, though his tone is hot with lust, not with annoyance.  “Kriffing hells, Kylo!  Could you be any--  _ oohh _ …-- bigger?”  

Hux’s body rocks two...three more times, and Kylo goes rigid.  His fingers grip the bed sheet so hard that his nails tear holes in it.  His neck bows back as tears leak from the corners of his eyes and he cries out loudly as he hits his climax with the force of a star destroyer.  Hux follows immediately behind, his warm seed running over Kylo’s fingers and pooling on his belly.  

After they’ve both ridden out their orgasms, Hux lifts himself off of Ren and collapses beside him, half on the mattress, half draped across Ren’s chest.  Kylo rolls onto his side to envelope Hux in his strong arms, holding him close against his chest and wrapping himself around him as much as possible.  “Don’t even think about getting up to clean off,” he says, his voice slurring slightly.  “I’m not letting you go until morning...  And even then, it’s not a definite.”  

Hux laughs softly, but makes no effort to squirm out of Ren’s grip.  “Who says I wanted to clean up?” he asks innocently.  “Maybe I want to keep you up all night, to make sure you won’t slip away again.” 

Kylo gives a little snort at this notion.  “Is that a threat or a promise, General?” he says, pulling his head back just enough to look into Hux’s face.  

“Perhaps it is both.” 

“Good,” Kylo says.  “Because right now, I don’t think I could ever get enough of you.”  

Hux smiles, and it’s that same shy schoolboy smile he’d given Kylo the night before.  It makes Kylo want to fuck him again right away, but he contents himself with a hungry kiss for the moment.  When they break apart, Hux gazes at him intently, a lazy smile playing at his lips.  He reaches out to touch Kylo’s face, and Kylo lets his eyes flutter closed at Hux’s touch.  

“These lips…” Hux says softly.  “I like them.  I think I’ll keep them for my own.”  

Kylo’s eyes open and he grins, remembering the words he’d spoken the night before.  He’d been slightly embarrassed by them at the time, but coming from Hux’s mouth, they sound beautiful.  

“Then they are yours,” he says softly, kissing Hux’s fingertips.  

Something passes over Hux’s eyes - a moment’s hesitation - a flicker of doubt.  

“Promise me… Promise me you won’t leave again,” he says, and the pain in his voice is like a vice around Kylo’s heart.  

“I promise you, on my life, I’m not leaving you, ever again,” he says, any teasing tone having vanished from his voice.  “You’re stuck with me now.” 

“Good,” Hux says, smiling.  “Stay, then.


	22. Epilogue:  Hux

Hux’s eyes flutter open, and he squints at the overhead lights.  He and Ren had been up all night together.  They would lie together and talk softly, sharing confessions and secrets and dreams.  Then they would make love again, and the cycle continued until the early hours of morning.  

Hux’s body is stiff and sore, but in the best possible way, and though he’s only gotten an hour or two of sleep, he feels refreshed and invigorated.   _ Happy _ .  

“Good morning, you--”  Hux rolls over to greet his lover, but is cut short upon realizing that the bed is empty.   _ No.  No, it’s not possible,  _ he thinks, his heart wringing like a washcloth and his mind racing faster than a fathier.  His hand is thrust out, feeling the sheets.  They are warm.  He sits up and looks around, but Kylo isn’t in the bedroom, and a sense of dread pools in the pit of his stomach.  

But then, he becomes aware of a sound - the sound of running water - and the next moment, he hears a deep, sonorous voice coming from the refresher, singing… Force knows what.  Relief descends on him like a warm blanket, and he slides out of bed to pad across the floor to the refresher door.  

The air is thick with steam, and he can smell the sweet and spicy scent of his own body wash.  Ren’s form is barely visible through the transparasteel shower door, and he slides it open just enough to squeeze through.  Kylo turns to him with a broad smile and tugs him under the water, soaking them both.  

“I thought you’d left,” Hux confesses, ashamed of his own doubt.

“Never,” Kylo says, his voice steady and reassuring.  “Not unless you throw me out.”  

Hux gazes at Kylo from behind damp copper lashes and a lazy smile tugs at his lips.  They’re swollen and slightly chapped from use the night before, but he doesn’t care.  Not in the least.  Pressing his body against Kylo’s, he slips his arms around his shoulders and leans in close, letting his lips brush against Kylo’s. 

“Well, then.  We’d better get washed up.  We’ve got a galaxy to conquer, after all.” 

 

_ The End _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you so much for taking the time to read my story. I've had so much fun writing it, and interacting with all of you. Your support and encouragement mean so much!   
> xoxo


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